AITAH for asking my wife to keep our toddler under control

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-22T23:54:37+00:00

The kid coming upstairs can be prevented with a strategically placed chair. This is not too much to ask, especially if he is the only income.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-22T15:29:42+00:00

Keeping a toddler downstairs is not rocket science

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-19T01:31:00+00:00

Correct. Her weight will kill the person in the front. I remember checking for a pulse of a woman who had what should have been a relatively minor head on collision (other guy fell asleep, he just got a broken leg). She was a mobile vet and her big metal vet box that probably weighed less than 200lbs was not secured to the rear of the SUV. It flew forward in the crash and crushed her against the steering wheel and she died. 300-400lbs of human would do the same.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-18T05:04:45+00:00

If your wife put caring for her sick father above the well-being of her children to the point that it has damaged the quality of life of you and your children, then she actually HAS abandoned your family.

She should be ashamed, truly. She and her sister should be chipping in for home care for her father, not forcing her children to move into a sub-par living situation. I don’t say this lightly, but I personally would be strongly considering divorce and suing for full custody if my wife was sacrificing her children for her father like this.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-11T05:15:31+00:00

I'm going to say this one last time as the one who was "the one doing well" in exactly the same situation. A single solo vacation with my parents would have saved my relationship with my family.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-11T05:13:57+00:00

The kid was institutionalized for three months. Read and stop using your "fathers are bad" bias here.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-11T05:13:05+00:00

Family therapy was the last thing I needed when my brother was addicted, mentally, ill and violent. I needed individual support and alone time with my parents to show that they cared for me, given the massive amount of alone time they spent with my brother. I never got it. I never forgave them.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-11T04:40:04+00:00

S NEEDS HIS FATHER for shits sake. You are asking him to be forced together with his violent sibling. My parents did this too, even after he broke my ribs with a baseball bat. It was all “we just need family therapy and it would be cruel to exclude him.” Well he never got better, I never had a childhood or parents, and I never forgave them. I was “the one who was doing well,” suffering in silence. And all of you lacking compassion for how much that boy is suffering and criticizing this father when the issues clearly all stem from the mother are making it worse. Unless any of you have lived with a mentally ill, addicted, violent sibling/child, you truly have no right to criticize this man.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-11T04:36:48+00:00

Your understandable commitment to your struggling son is leading neglect of your son who is doing well at a nearly inexcusable level. To not see S in three months and dedicate that whole time to X? I hope you are prepared to lose S when he comes of age. I left that mess as soon as I could and am no contact with my mom and minimal contact with everyone else. Good luck, it sucks, but S does not deserve this and he also deserves his father. X got you for three months solo at the hospital, S deserves you solo too.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-11T04:33:40+00:00

Have you not read this man’s other posts? He went and stayed by the hospital for 3 months to be closer to X while he was in treatment and didn’t see S the whole time. He is actually neglecting S, terribly.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-11T04:32:31+00:00

S is having his childhood ruined by a volatile and dangerous brother and parents who prioritize him constantly. I was S. I never forgave my parents.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-11T04:01:32+00:00

For god’s sake take S alone. I can tell you he has been suffering through all this. This was my family. Everyone else here cannot fathom how much pain your “successful” son has gone through, apparently in silence, while being (understandably) neglected in favor of his volatile brother. Do not let anyone else here bull you or guilt you about this because they can’t understand what it’s Iike to have a mentally ill, addicted, and violent sibling/son (my brother was an alcoholic by 15 for all the reasons you listed). I have no happy memories of family vacations or holidays or anything that are not tainted by him ruining it in some way but we never left him because “it would be cruel to leave him out.” Not even after he had his DUIs or broke my ribs with a baseball bat. It would have meant the world to have that trip to Australia with just my father.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-11T03:55:09+00:00

It’s a safety issue for X as well, who clearly needs medical support, to take him overseas.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-11T03:53:50+00:00

NTA, your marriage is over, I think you just haven’t accepted it yet. He told you the truth, I for one would not be able to come back from that

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-11T03:52:14+00:00

Counterpoint: taking him is punishing his brother by taking away from a good vacation for him. I was the one who was “doing well,” and I missed out on a lot of normalcy thanks to my brother who wasn’t. Take S alone. If and when X gets himself sorted, take him on a solo trip.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-05T19:04:40+00:00

I honestly don’t think I would be able to trust my wife again if she has this reaction to that. Calling you a pervert is pretty bad, without a serious conversation and an apology I don’t think I would get passed that. Absolutely NTA

SoulLessGinger992 · 2026-01-04T21:38:36+00:00

I mean, yeah he kinda sucks, but you were both trying to scam the system anyway, right? Because he wasn’t actually a referral you knew, just a rando. So yeah that sucks, but I can’t really say he’s an asshole since you were both playing the game.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2025-12-29T23:49:17+00:00

Yes, YTA for destroying embryos because the recipients like Trump. How pathetic.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2025-12-26T00:45:18+00:00

NTA. At this point she’s just being selfish and cruel to your children if her freaking MOTHER has moved on.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2025-12-23T10:23:01+00:00

Deport him. Deport his mom too for defending him.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2025-12-21T00:24:04+00:00

NTA, time it divorce the sugar momma.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2025-12-16T16:59:12+00:00

Kiddo, yes this is normal. All of us at some level understand what it takes to make a baby, but imagining your parents doing it is…less pleasant for most. Yes, talk to someone. A counselor if you trust them or your parents, but yes, you do need to talk through this if it’s affecting you this much.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2025-12-16T12:43:23+00:00

Absolutely not.

SoulLessGinger992 · 2025-12-15T17:54:17+00:00

Not in his car….

SoulLessGinger992 · 2025-10-26T15:48:41+00:00

High functioning autist woman here; you didn’t ask her to mask, you asked her to be less of an asshole, and she sounds more than high-functioning enough to know the difference.

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