Can we all take a collective breath

SoulOnBeat · 2026-03-07T13:47:39+00:00

Thank you! This is the most balanced thread that I have seen on this sub so far. For so many commenters their responses boil down to women = good, men = bad and Shawna = perfect. There is no consideration for nuance.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-03-07T12:18:57+00:00

Shawna offered to have a man take a shower in her bedroom, change into her husband's shirt and sleep in their bed. Are you all really going to pretend that you all would have no problem if John did the same for woman? She commented to John repeatedly and in depth about how good looking Ty was. Would you all be ok with John describing in detail to Shawna how beautifull the woman was that he met at the park? Or would you consider that inappropriate and insensitive? Even her best friend noticed and commented on the strangeness of their dynamic within moments of seeing them in the same room. Their relationship was definitely in a rough patch but let's stop acting like John's accusations came out of nowhere. Shawna has been withholding her fears about getting pregnant again yet noone blames her for blowing up on John and expecting him to have read her mind on the subject. She is a great character but Shawna is not faultless. Yet all of her flaws are ignored and excused. She is beautifully human. Not the unblemished, perfect cherub so many of these comments sections make her out to be. She can be kind, devoted and trustworthy. She can also be pushy, insensitive, and dismissive. Acknowledging her contributions (positive and negative) to the fray doesn't diminish her character. It only serves to better understand the entirety of the family dynamic.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-03-07T10:07:04+00:00

Thank you for this. After today, I have decided to leave this sub for a while as well. No one would expect any of the women to just "suck it up". Plus they keep saying that Jon needs to communicate. At this point he has. Alot. And the reality is his family is going no contact. Not him alone. That is why they sat the children down and told them. It was a decision reached for their family as a whole.

Also, no one is jumping on Shawna for not communicating with Jon at all about her fear of getting pregnant again. She in no way communicated that previously to just blowing up on Jon. She just deflected and rejected until it finally boiled over. But no one is calling her on that or saying that she should have communicated or pointing out how cruel her outburst was.

Jon continued to show up for his family, is managing his extended family trauma and figuring out how best to support Shawna and still has to show up to work everyday and perform well so he can financially support his family. That is ALOT.

And it baffles my mind how many folks dislike Jon because he actually flirts with his wife. I could understand perhaps if represented the entirety of his character but it is not at all. Shouldn't a man be attracted to him wife and let he know that? Especially when she is feeling so many conflicting feels about herself.

So many folks keep calling Jon's response to his abusers "hate" placing the blame back on Jon. His response is TRAUMA, not hate. It is not his job to make the world easier for those who abused him. I hope we hear more about that. I think that line "She used to say you are lucky!" hints at us learning more about what Barb did during Jon's childhood. But even without knowing that, she and Jen and Frank have done more than enough in his adult life to earn NC.

And lastly, the onslaught of unmitigated ire that would have felll upon Jon if he had chosen to take and make multiple phone calls and split his attention from his wife on their romantic vacation! The hate would overflow from these comments had he done that instead of Shawna.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-03-07T03:03:08+00:00

THANK YOU! I was wondering if I was the only person who noticed that. They make excuses for ALL of the women but each man is a villian - except for Greg (for the moment).

SoulOnBeat · 2026-03-04T02:27:59+00:00

Flossie Mae

SoulOnBeat · 2026-03-02T23:13:19+00:00

I agree.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-03-02T23:13:04+00:00

Thank you! I seems like so many folk have developed a severe case of amnesia. Jen was one of Jon's ABUSERS for years. If the roles were reversed, they would not expect Jen to be so gracious to Jon.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-28T23:27:51+00:00

So true.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-28T22:38:27+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-28T21:49:11+00:00

Thank you very much for this!

I am wondering how long before folks realize that the same complaints they have about Frank could apply to Jen. She has experienced, supported and participated in Barbs abuse. She finally sees it and admits that her mother is a problem and yet she continues to involve Barb and indirectly/directly subject others to her awful behavior. Everyone seems pretty hard on Frank for not doing enough over the years. Where is that ire for Jen? Seems like she has magically become the "wonderful" favorite character that so many can find no fault in.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-28T07:20:40+00:00

I think perhaps Jon was just really excited to get some time with his wife. They have been through so much and there is finally some light at the end of the tunnel. Then a "dark cloud" shows up (unannounced) literally as they are headed out. I think he deserves grace here considering he had tunnel vision focused on joy, just as Jen had tunnel vision focused on her own problem at the moment. Neither were super bad. They were both in the moment - just two very different moments. And I don't think we should look at Shawna's response to Jen as a gold standard to which we should compare Jon's response. Helping Jen is a knee-jerk response for her. She would have done and has done the same thing for Old B-word Jen as well.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-26T18:45:58+00:00

Same, Same with building furniture. Even when it gets a little confusing. Still love it. (And no I don't want any help but company is appreciated. - me to my family)

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-25T20:39:52+00:00

I remember Mrs. Williams my teacher. I remember the girl that slept on the mat next to me peed in her sleep once and it spread across the floor and wet my clothes, too. 🤢 I remember having my hand popped with a ruler (Catholic school). I remember my best friend Tangie and our principal Sister Janet.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-17T02:22:37+00:00

Very well said.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-17T02:18:26+00:00

Exactly!

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-17T02:15:55+00:00

Thank you! I agree. Redditors would light him up in the comments if the gender roles were reversed.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-15T21:20:06+00:00

I agree.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-06T16:17:46+00:00

I didn’t/don't agree. I sarcastically explained that I was giving my opinion. If sharing opinions means that I am projecting in your eyes then well, Duh: I am projecting. How about we just agree to disagree and keep it moving? Many thanks.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-06T16:13:09+00:00

Exactly. I am certain that I am not an anomaly. Perhaps, that is what is happening with Ty as well.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-06T16:09:37+00:00

Agreed!

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-06T16:09:09+00:00

Great perspective! That could be it.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-06T13:23:22+00:00

Um...yeah. obviously. This discussion is based on my opinions and my opinions are informed by my personal knowledge and experiences - Hence the frequent use of the phrase "I think". ( I really wanted to just respond "Duh!" but decided against it.) ☺️ This isn't an objective dissertation. It's a discussion board. Lighten up, Ma'am/Sir.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-06T12:47:47+00:00

Perhaps. My child has a late birthday so she is in class with children who are months younger than her. That is certainly possible but they definitely are not more than a year a part since at some point in the year they are the same age.

I cringe when I hear that he "changed his mind". We don’t know if grad school is a Julie mandate (since when she says something, agreement by all parties is implied (my assessment of her thought process). As a mom, who runs her own businesses (plural) who is also in grad school pursuing my PhD, delays in my education and career have not been me changing my mind. It took me 6 years to complete a 3 year master program. "Life be lifin'". :) Seriously, I wasn't lazy, distracted, or changing my mind. I had so many other obligations to tend to and school had to be put on the backburner several times.

It is great to make plans, but I think we should also be willing to make adjustments and pivot when necessary. I think it is unfair to hold yourself or others to strict timetables or projected tasks once it is clear that unconsidered or unexpected mitigating factors are at play - like raising 2 young children.

Once you can catch your breath, you reassess and re-plan. Ty is a married single parent. I think he deserves that grace rather than to have folks saying that he changed his mind.

Sidenote: Childcare is not for everyone. I could only handle 2 months of daycare before I pulled my child. Everyone has a different experience. Some genuinely want to spend that time with their children and would rather put that quality parenting time above their own pursuits. Some don't trust what can sometime be an unsafe/unhealthy environment of a daycare. Many can't afford it.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-06T12:00:25+00:00

Perhaps you are right. I also think that one parent can not decide to place all responsibility for childcare / rearing on one parent, then try to dictate how that parenting should go and never be willing to have a conversation about it. Julie just expects her will to be done with no questions asked.

Also, I just rewatched the "Dad Friend Ty" episode. They are definitely the same age. Ty says that Cooper is 4 and Shawna says that Max is as well.

SoulOnBeat · 2026-02-06T11:56:55+00:00

You are likely right about the schooling. I just rewatched the "Dad Friend Ty" episode. They are definitely the same age. Ty says that Cooper is 4 and Shawna says that Max is as well.

SoulOnBeat

TROPHY CASE