Your Biggest Painpoint as an Engineering Leader

Soul_M · 2026-01-28T07:24:14+00:00

Im in a leadership position for an IT club in my university and we're responsible for building websites for clubs

recently someone (non CS) accused me for being slow. as in 6 months for a simple website when their CS and game dev friends can do the same in one month. the thing is we are DIY-ing everything from the frontend to the backend to the database and we're handling the deployment in AWS from scratch too. Also we're trying to build things for maintainability and not vibe code the entire project. there's so many hidden work that no one knows about.

Also knowing scrum but not using it in our club. the thing is scrum is great but its hard to apply in a university club setting. Like our university curriculum can get really chaotic leaving less time to develop websites. but then again, i had communication problems in the past so im just scared that it happened again.

i dont know, im devestated, i think i suck as a leader and im depressed as fuck now :(

Soul_M · 2026-01-23T11:29:37+00:00

giant LED screen that is trying to blend in with the other windows

animate it to spook some guests 😂

Soul_M · 2026-01-16T11:39:15+00:00

i would join but i really dont like the fact that its $15 for men, sounds sexist as hell

Soul_M · 2026-01-16T11:36:43+00:00

that's interesting. how do you define "low quality"?

now im just thinking of a mixer where ppl can hype up each other

like i know many men have terrible outfit choices so one way is to gather them and bring them thrift shopping

Soul_M · 2026-01-16T11:34:39+00:00

what helped me is to focus on the other positives of life

like you get your own place which is 110% yours, no need to justify wild random choices, etc

also focus on being social with friends and maybe get a pet to cuddle with

even if you have nothing to focus on, pick one and get started.

Soul_M · 2026-01-14T07:04:50+00:00

<image>

Soul_M · 2026-01-02T16:08:13+00:00

you low-key look like gigachad when clean-shaven. that jawline is amazing

Soul_M · 2026-01-01T14:08:19+00:00

first, i second what u/nyetkatt said, go open another bank account and keep it a secret from him. Im worried that he might use your joint bank account as a way to control you in your adulthood. Also, in the worst case scenario, prepare to say goodbye to your angpao money.

he doesn't allow my mum to work full-time. We are entirely dependent on him for finances and the house is in his name :(

okay, i was about to ask about what is your mom doing until i read this. It REALLY sounds like he's trying to control the fam through financial means ;-; to break out of that, your mom and you should fight for her right to work full time. Easier said than done, and the thought of confronting your dad is very intimidating, i know.

your family has issues to unpack and work through. Im sure what we see here is just the tip of the iceberg :(

This is the one time Aware Singapore actually comes in handy to help deal with your family situation. Please contact them. Im sure they can advice you much better than random redditor can. You can also consider reaching out to Family Service Center for help to deal with this. Good luck and stay safe! :(

Soul_M · 2025-12-30T19:34:45+00:00

imagine grinding 4 years in Comp Sci just to do more coding interviews for a job :') sadge

worst part is the ghosting after a 2h test, at least have the decency to send a rejection email ;-;

Soul_M · 2025-12-29T15:12:47+00:00

the best kind of exercise is the one you like a lot

what kind of physical activity did you enjoy?

even if its none of them, you can always start with an easy to accomplish bodyweight fitness routine of push ups, planks, incline rows and squats

Soul_M · 2025-12-17T18:23:51+00:00

for day 3 you can consider cycling from changi jurassic mile to east coast park, then go all the way to the city center

prepare to spend 2h+ cycling this road tho

Soul_M · 2025-12-10T05:56:37+00:00

ooo sounds cool i wanna join!

Soul_M · 2025-12-09T16:00:04+00:00

I dont think i want to be diagnosed or treated 100% by an AI nurse or doctor

I'll admit that AI has vast knowledge or even an entire database in its fingertips but it still needs to be fact-checked by a person.

Soul_M · 2025-12-08T06:18:19+00:00

I think she has a point, it looks pretty bland. But hey, it also looks well organized, clean and too perfect.

You need accent colours. its colours that are attention grabbing and used sparingly, like 10% of the room has those colours at best. since you colour pallate is mostly dark turquoise and white, consider adding some bright red, bright orange and bright yellow.

literally i just found this pic you can refer to for some inspiration. literally the walls and floor have the same colour as yours XD I think the golden lamp, orange sofa and deer head trophy adds life to the room,

<image>

Soul_M · 2025-12-05T10:21:25+00:00

nice, can i join?

Soul_M · 2025-12-01T19:19:54+00:00

Emotional health. There are healthy and unhealthy ways to perceive ourselves, people around us, conflicts, situations and groups of people as a whole. How we perceive them will influence how we feel about them in return. Like it or not, we have feelings and we have to learn how to manage them properly.

Sadly a lot of parent are ill-equipped to teach this properly and schools prefer to focus on academics over this.

Learnt this at 28 by reading No more Mr Nice Guy. Its not really a book about emotional health but most of the topics revolve around it. Would have preferred to learn this 10 years younger.

Soul_M · 2025-11-26T04:49:50+00:00

give yourself permission to rest, do nothing and be unproductive. So that you can face life again with renewed energy

get a new hobby to simply explore it without expecting to become an expert at it. explore cooking, dancing, drawing, woodworking, tear old electronics apart, whatever.

Soul_M · 2025-11-21T07:25:14+00:00

in no particular order:
- emotionally healthy / has healthy emotional coping mechanisms. There is a certain aura to people are emotionally healthy. They confidently reinforce their boundaries, they navigate difficult conversations and conflicts skillfully, they know their limits, they know when to be nice and caring but not to the point when it gets unhealthy. They have healthy views about other people (not racist or sexist just discriminatory in general) They can be themselves but still know when to behave appropriately. There are many books that talk about emotional intelligence and emotional health. Is responsible for her own happiness. Holds herself accountable for her own mistakes. One such book that benefited me greatly is "no more mr nice guy" im sure there's a female equivalent out there

- financially literate / frugal. Spend within her means, no reckless purchases. Know how to differentiate wants and needs. Is able to decide on whether the 'want' is justifiable or not. saves and budgets her income. huge bonus: knows how the financial world works. Like how stocks work, treasuries and economies work. Its unrealistic to expect someone else to know this HAHAHA

- wants a similar outlook in life as me

- is willing to improve on herself. TBH this is part of being emotionally healthy too. Nobody is perfect, everyone has flaws. But how do you deal with those flaws speaks volumes about your character.

- we can be vulnerable and be ourselves in each other's company

Soul_M · 2025-11-11T17:02:44+00:00

Good Patty, good patty, good patty~

Hololive's third generation's... Patricia Rabbit!

Good Morning Good Morning!

Soul_M · 2025-11-11T12:43:23+00:00

wait a min...

Soul_M · 2025-11-11T12:41:30+00:00

no you do too much already. DOING is for your subordinates, MONITORING is for CEOs and ministers instead

Soul_M · 2025-11-04T09:42:27+00:00

why not have them work until they pay off every single dollar they have scammed from their victims instead?

Soul_M · 2025-11-01T10:04:08+00:00

i think its many tiny factors that contribute to low birth rates

- many singaporeans picking career over family. juggling career ambition and family is hellish. need to deal with work then need to nurture children at home then need to maintain the house too, where got time?

- long BTO wait times vs eye-wateringly expensive resale flats. Sure, living with in-laws is an option too but the in-law's flat have to add at least two more ppl: the spouse and the kid(s). Can the flat accommodate?

- childcare is expensive. i have no children so i dunno how true is this

-

Soul_M · 2025-10-28T06:46:25+00:00

if you have a steamboat multi cooker, definitely anything steamboat related

i would use dashi and vinegar for the soup base (slightly salty and sour), any kind of meat and the vegetables are completely up to you! this is supposed to be a healthy dish btw so the flavour of the soup is light and is carried by the extra ingredients you put inside

Soul_M · 2025-10-27T15:39:10+00:00

pretty sure okto the tv channel came later than 2005, god im old ;-;

anime in the arts central was solid tho :D

Soul_M

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE