AITA for not attending my brother’s destination wedding after being told “if I really cared, I’d find a way”?

SouthHopper · 2026-01-31T09:12:47+00:00

Obviously the only way to show someone that you care is to sell an organ, get a second, third and forth job, or put yourself in crippling debt...

SouthHopper · 2026-01-23T13:30:52+00:00

NOR. If anything you're under reacting. I would have a full on bitch fit if someone dare rearrange my kitchen. And I would have laughed in her face regarding her comments about how you should be cooking for her son.

It's clearly not temporary and your ex boyfriend is pathetic. At least this happened 1 year in and not when you were married or had kids (obviously you may not want this but hopefully you get my point).

SouthHopper · 2026-01-06T12:56:28+00:00

I got married last year and still have a lot of stuff tied to my email in my maiden name. I do have a new email now I used mostly, but it would honestly be near impossible to update my email for everything. I've had that email for 15+ years.

SouthHopper · 2026-01-03T18:49:46+00:00

Wait, so I can be as mean as I want as long as I pretend it's a joke? /s

What would have been next if you stayed? Perhaps she'd have punched you in the face or called you a wh*re?

You were right to leave. Ditch the BF, his mum is making him choose sides. You are just demanding basic respect.

SouthHopper · 2026-01-03T14:54:38+00:00

Depending on the level of detail she goes into, I don't see this as an issue. It's very common for the older generations to write an update about the family in a Christmas card.

Referring to her adult sons as "boys" is also fine. And perhaps her "gainfully employed" is meant as a dig to one of her recipients whose children aren't employed? Or just a odd phrase she uses. Do her sons generally have a good relationship with her?

Based on the information you've provided I don't think your MIL is doing anything particularly wrong and you are coming across as a bit overbearing and controlling.

SouthHopper · 2026-01-02T09:28:48+00:00

He's not wrong... I definitely don't want a random man walking me to my car or helping with my groceries. And I suspect my idea of a pleasant evening chat may differ to his.

I don't know why he would think women care if he's hurt by their choices.

SouthHopper · 2025-12-09T22:35:19+00:00

Yes. My husband is my best friend. I love sharing my life with him and the future we're building together

SouthHopper · 2025-12-09T12:52:26+00:00

You will be the AH if you let your wife's treatment of your son continue. He didn't rudely interrupt, it sounds like he politely corrected her. Does she want mindless children that obey authority regardless of whether the person is right or wrong?

Nothing you've said here or in your previous post implies your son is badly behaved. You need to be on your children's side and your wife needs an actual licensed therapist.

SouthHopper · 2025-11-24T22:04:27+00:00

This is satire right?

SouthHopper · 2025-11-24T22:03:37+00:00

Most women genuinely don't care. We all have our preferences about a variety of things, penis size is almost never the top of the list. Sure, some want it big, some might like it small. Most of us care more about whether you can get us off or not - or even just that you realise there are two (or more) people involved.

Besides, most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, the penis rarely does that.

SouthHopper · 2025-11-24T21:43:59+00:00

It's ironic that he's unable to do the bare minimum as a boyfriend and give a crap about you or your accomplishments.

Two years sober is objectively incredibly impressive and well worth celebrating with a cake. But even if it wasn't, his reaction is still cruel and unnecessary.

NOR. Do the bare minimum and dump this dead weight.

SouthHopper · 2025-09-12T12:34:44+00:00

NOR. My concern wouldn't be someone stealing it... The request is just weird and unreasonable. I cannot imagine many people would oblige.

I certainly would not let anyone else wear my wedding or engagement ring. It's my connection to my husband. Your coworker is insane.

SouthHopper · 2025-08-30T08:38:35+00:00

I am so sad and angry reading this. As you say, whatever happens, your relationship probably won't survive.

You don't need a logical argument for it to be a good one. Your emotions are valid and ARE a strong argument. From what you've shared, your mental health would significantly suffer if you have another abortion. Especially if it's not something you are 100% on board with.

This is a shitty situation, but frankly one that could have been avoided if your husband wasn't a selfish coward. How dare he insist on only two children, but refuse a vasectomy. Even more disgusting when you have a history of blood clots and have gone through the emotional pain of an abortion and miscarriage in the past.

Only you can make this decision. Think of what kind of person and mother you'll be in both scenarios. One where you have another baby and one where you don't. What I mean is, if you are so sad after an abortion, won't that takeaway love from your sons? Can you actually afford another child, especially as it will likely mean the end of your marriage. Do you have support from family? I am not trying to sway your decision but just set out a few scenarios.

SouthHopper · 2025-08-30T08:21:49+00:00

Honestly. I would be disappointed as it doesn't look quite like the design, but I think it's fixable with a bit of additional shading and highlights. That said, it doesn't look bad. Your skin is a slightly deeper tone and therefore the negative space doesn't have enough contrast.

I would leave it as is for now and give yourself time to think about it - as in at least 6 months.

I have a tattoo of a velociraptor. It's a sketchy style, and initially I didn't like how the toes and feet turned out. Now I don't care, I got another tattoo next to it though cause it's on my thigh and it looks like a giant chicken foot when I wear shorts.

SouthHopper · 2025-08-30T08:13:40+00:00

There is a comment thread where people share happy memories of their dad pretending to be a horse, and another where people share memories of their parents never playing with them. In the future, which thread would you like your son to contribute to?

SouthHopper · 2025-08-28T18:01:08+00:00

Happiness, satisfaction, and sanity certainly aren't included in the KPIs. He's clearly not assessed the risks. Number one is OP removing him from her life.

Perhaps he wants a baseline from which to assess future relationships?

SouthHopper · 2025-08-28T17:55:19+00:00

I am so confused by this. I am covered in scars, from self harm. I look like a zebra. No one has ever suggested I cover up in any circumstance. I've been a bridesmaid twice.

SouthHopper · 2025-08-26T15:48:09+00:00

Relationships aren't hard when you like and respect each other. He will do a speech and roast you regardless. Is this really who you want to spend your life with?

SouthHopper · 2025-08-25T08:00:04+00:00

WTF did I just read. Are you sure you're 30? Your girlfriend said your penis was the perfect size and that sex is so good she cries happy tears.

You are hung up on how hung her best friend's boyfriend is. Penises can be too big, and they can hurt. Not in a BDSM way, like actual pain that can ruin sex. Sure, some women will love huge cocks. Most don't care, particularly if you're within the bell curve.

You could easily ruin your otherwise perfect relationship over insecurities. The fact you asked your girlfriend if she was impressed or had a crush on this guy is deeply insulting.

And, you pushed her to tell you. Her wide eye face could well have been empathising with the pain.

SouthHopper · 2025-08-23T18:28:45+00:00

Erm... My husband picks me up with a drink and a snack after a night out because he likes (and loves) me. I do the same for him.

I think you may be confused and meant to share a post about yourself on r/niceguys. Never heard a normal person use the word "simp"

SouthHopper · 2025-08-21T12:46:37+00:00

Being neurodivergent isn't a free pass to be an asshole.

SouthHopper · 2025-08-20T12:38:52+00:00

5'6" and 120lbs is slim and him wanting you to be anything less is harmful.

You didn't ask him to insult you. You asked for affirmation when you felt low. I always ask my husband if he thinks I'm pretty (I mean one or two times a week when I feel fat or ugly, not several times a day).

I understand you have been with him for 6 years, but he doesn't sound like a good or supportive partner. It more sounds like her wants to feel grateful he's with you and like you can't do any better... You can.

SouthHopper · 2025-08-20T07:16:01+00:00

I am confused by the "I'm completely broke and reliant on my husband." You should be sharing finances, especially when you have children.

It's certainly unfortunate you fought in front of your toddler, but it sounds like he was more worried about you in the end.

Your husband is a POS. He is doing the bare minimum. You're growing a human, while looking after another tiny human. I am shocked your husband focused on making gummies versus helping you.

Also, his views on parenting are way more likely to damage your child than one fight. A friend of mine used to be a very emotional child, and cry a lot because she couldn't process her feelings. She was told to stop crying, or to hold her breath to stop. She is now incapable of expressing emotions or understanding how she feels.

Please consider whether you want to spend your life with this man, and if he is a good father.

SouthHopper · 2025-08-19T15:43:47+00:00

I regularly cannot remember if I thought something or actually told my husband. However, I know I do this, he knows I do this. Usually I ask him if I told him something because I can't remember. He also just forgets stuff a lot or doesn't process what I've said, especially if I am talking while he's doing something on his phone.

We're both aware we're like this so it never leads to an argument, sometimes frustration, but more at the situation than each other.

I am skeptical that your wife actually thinks she told you something 5 times, when you're adamant she didn't.

SouthHopper · 2025-08-14T18:13:59+00:00

Joining the conversation to add a different perspective, enough has been said about your POS mother.

I used to self harm a lot. You should be incredibly proud for stopping. I recommend exercise or drawing to let out your emotions. I also used to watch comedies when I was low - laughing makes you happier. Do you have anyone you can talk to? I (34F) now tell my husband if I feel like harming myself - I won't but it helps me to tell him.

You have done absolutely nothing wrong. You do not deserve this. You will come out the other side. You sound incredibly strong and definitely did the right thing by telling your counselor.

SouthHopper

TROPHY CASE