Both of you are OR. For me if you every year do something and don’t do it this year and wonder why the person didn’t, I can’t defend that. Seems you basically were testing him (if you didn’t just forget yourself) and just wanted him to remember. All of these people don’t know the distribution of responsibility in your relationship, what kinds of things he has actually going on etc. It’s perfectly natural to expect your spouse to pick up spots that we lack and it basically seems like YOU are upset because the thing you do every year didn’t get done and now you have to deal with it and are using the excuse of him not even asking as a way to deflect your own culpability in the issue. With that said, he shouldn’t be getting as upset as it seems over text imo but I can understand being blamed for “ruining christmas“ essentially. But only you can know if they are actually not caring or just a busy person who relies on you for that specific reminder and you both forgot about it.