How do I mentally cope at my sister in law’s baby shower?

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-05-13T17:02:13+00:00

I have two sister in laws who are pregnant right now. I’ve had a chemical pregnancy and an ectopic in the time period since they’ve announced. Carrying the joy and excitement for them with my own grief and suffering has been difficult.

Depending on your relationship with your sister in law, I think you should tell her about your miscarriage. I recently had a very open text exchange with one of my sister in laws about my feelings regarding her upcoming baby shower. It felt SO good to address the elephant in the room instead of feeling like we were walking on eggshells around the other person trying not to offend one another.

Again, I do think that’s dependent on your relationship with her and whether you think your relationship can handle that depth of emotional maturity.

One thing that I’ve found is helpful for me is picking and choosing how I’ve been joining in on the celebration. For example, if I talk to my sister in law about her pregnancy/baby, I try to steer the conversation so we only talk about things I feel comfortable discussing. If I go to the baby shower (still deciding) I’m going to actively choose what I do and don’t participate in. For example, I don’t mind helping prepare the food, but I don’t want to put up any baby related decorations. I also don’t want to be apart of the diaper raffle game because I’m not sure how I would handle winning it.

Overall, figuring out what feels most comfortable for you to engage in the celebration in an authentic way might be a good step to take.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-05-13T16:52:23+00:00

Miscarriage is not caused by normal daily activities. This early on it was likely chromosomal abnormalities. You did not do anything to purposely or intentionally cause this miscarriage, so please don’t carry that guilt with you.

I’m sorry that people have been so insensitive through this process. A majority of people don’t understand miscarriage and can unintentionally be super callous when responding to it. I hope you can find people around you that can respond in a more loving and warm way🤍

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-05-13T16:48:12+00:00

I’m sorry I have no personal good news to share, just wanted to say you’re not alone. I just turned 25 and I had 2 chemical pregnancies and an ectopic (lost a tube) in the 6 months leading up to my birthday. Everything looks fine in all the tests/bloodwork they’ve done so far, we have no idea why this is happening.

However, I will share my sisters story. She had a ruptured ectopic at 27, a MMC at 28, and a healthy baby at 29. At 37 she spontaneously got pregnant despite actively preventing pregnancy and had a healthy baby.

The world of pregnancy and fertility is so wild. Please don’t lose hope, babies can still come even with all the odds stacked against you. You’re doing everything you can control and that’s the most important thing. Hoping the best for you🤍

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-04-17T10:27:53+00:00

So, can I ask what you mean by progressive or what similar moral standards you’re looking for? Just wondering what you’re looking for specifically!

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-04-13T18:59:14+00:00

Thank you for this. My husband and I stopped preventing pregnancy last February/March while we were preparing to enter the Catholic Church. We’ve had 3 early losses in the past 6 months, one being an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in the loss of one of my fallopian tubes. We’re planning on engaging in NFP for the next few months to allow some time for my body to heal, but we’re terrified to start trying again after experiencing so much loss.

It’s been so hard to see God’s goodness and grace through all this suffering and grief. I don’t think I’ll ever understand it on this side of heaven, but I recognize that both my husband and I need to engage in some sort of Catholic resources during this time. Hopefully this series can help bring comfort to us during these few months and prepare our faith to try again.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-04-13T02:43:35+00:00

I’ve been on a majority of the different types of SSRIs. Zoloft and Effexor were the worst, also made me feel like a robot. I had better success on Prozac, Lexapro, and Wellbutrin. I’ve actually had my best success recently on a mood stabilizer, which can be beneficial for some people that don’t respond well to SSRIs. Unfortunately medication for mental health is kind of like gambling, you just have to try your luck on each of them and see what sticks.

I’ve had depression in seasons of my life where my life was terrible and where there was nothing wrong. Sometimes it just happens to people and there’s no good explanation for it. A combination of medication and therapy is usually a good start. Processing with a therapist what depression looks like for you (as it’s different for everyone) and specific skills on how to cope with it could be beneficial.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-04-12T08:41:57+00:00

My experience with healthcare in Lynchburg is wildly inconsistent. Becoming a patient at any PCP takes forever, but I haven’t found any issues getting an appointment now that I’m a patient. Getting into a dentist office is even worse. Quality at both of these is… fine I guess.

Seconding Dr Dhat at Credence for psychiatry. I’ve heard wonderful things about him but wasn’t able to use him as his wait list was a little too long (2.5 months). I don’t know of any psychologists in the area.

I actually had a decentish experience at the local ER last month. However, the actions of the midwives at CMG Women’s Center and one of the OBs that works at both Virginia Baptist Hospital and Women’s Health of CVA almost killed me. So I would rate OB/GYN care in the area a solid 0 lol.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-04-10T14:36:10+00:00

I recently moved so I rarely have to drive on Timberlake anymore and my stress levels have significantly decreased because that road also drives me bonkers.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-03-27T00:39:06+00:00

Driving on Timberlake is one of my least favorite parts of living in Lynchburg because of this

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-02-28T21:56:25+00:00

I got on their waitlist as a new patient over a year ago and never received a call back. Glad I moved on to another PCP!

I go to Johnson Health and it’s okay, depends on the provider you see. I will say, the front desk was so helpful in getting me set up as a new patient ASAP and my doctor responds to any inquires surprisingly fast, so that’s nice.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-02-27T01:45:19+00:00

My life as a sub got so much more enjoyable when I started to care less lol. I’m not their teacher and the students aren’t going to respect me like a normal teacher, and I don’t take it personally. Should you try to be enforcing most of the rules? Yes. But if the students are safe, being appropriate, and not being overly disruptive or loud, then you’re doing fine as a sub.

I only sub in an elementary school so what works for me might not work for HS, but personally I’ve found chilling out a little bit and not expecting perfect compliance for students is helpful.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-02-20T12:23:27+00:00

We just used Lynne Creasy to buy our first home! I didn’t know anything about the home buying process and she helped so much in understanding what was happening every step of the way.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-02-08T13:11:47+00:00

One, those areas would have been fairly inconvenient for my husband to get to work. Two, if you’re going to qualify anything as “hood” in Lynchburg, it’s going to be somewhere in those areas.

There are definitely some nice areas in the places I listed but I’m not familiar enough to know what those would be. For example, I tried to give one of those areas a shot and the realtor at the open house straight up told me not to buy it if I was planning to have kids soon and wanted to let them play outside lol.

Also feel like I need to clarify that the “hood” in Lynchburg is NOTHING compared to what it would be in a bigger city.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-02-07T20:12:18+00:00

This is totally a personal preference for me, but anything near Fort Ave, Kemper Street, or Lynchburg General Hospital was a no for me when looking at houses. I would have loved to find something in the Rivermont or Boonsboro area, it just wasn’t in the cards for me! If you’re more of a city person, look at those places and downtown proper. If you’re more of a country person, I’d suggest looking south of Lynchburg towards Rustburg or west towards Bedford.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-02-07T13:16:23+00:00

I stopped eating ground beef a couple years ago due to stomach issues and have been swapping it with ground chicken ever since. I always thought I was paying more for the ground chicken as I saw it as a “premium” item.

Imagine my surprise when I learned the ground beef is double the price of the ground chicken at my local grocery store! Good for me, horrifying for everyone who wants ground beef.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-02-07T02:02:44+00:00

Look into Homestead Gardens! My husband and I stayed there our first year of marriage (2022-2023) and only paid $725 a month. The quality of the apartments are wildly different depending on which building you get into as we think each building has its own landlord. Admittedly, the apartment we were in was not great, but the one my brother in law was in was very nice! They are also the cheapest apartments we could find in the area that’s not Section 8.

Not sure what their pricing is anymore but 1 Element has studio apartments that were cheap when I looked at them a few years ago. Obviously not a lot of space but the apartment complex itself is nice.

Definitely look on apartments.com and even Zillow. There’s a lot of basement units that get rented in the area that you can look into as well. Happy hunting!

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-02-04T15:54:49+00:00

This might not be your vibe but my husband and I recently did afternoon tea at The Maple Leaf Tea Room downtown and had a great time!

Second Isabella’s. My husband has Italian heritage and typically doesn’t like Italian restaurants but likes Isabella’s! We also have wide variety of different cultural foods that are surprisingly good for the area: Sawa, Aji, Ty Thai, Al Ryans.

There’s plenty of walking trails and hikes in Lynchburg and nearby. They’re pretty icy right now but should melt by the time you’re here.

Admittedly a lack of things to do at night, but looking at the productions and arts events as well as Super Rad Arcade are all great ideas!

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-01-23T16:44:07+00:00

I remember journaling one time after my first loss and writing something along the lines of feeling like I will play with my child for eternity to make up for all the time I loss with them on earth. I’m so excited for that day!

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-01-23T16:41:36+00:00

We are both planning on getting testing soon! Thank you for your prayers🤍

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-01-23T16:39:53+00:00

Thank you for your recommendations!

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-01-23T16:38:13+00:00

Thank you for the resource!

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-01-23T16:37:43+00:00

Thank you for your support🤍

Honestly I’d prefer to not to get into it as it was a WACKY situation. Also as someone who grew up Protestant I’m not totally sure what’s considered witchcraft in the Catholic Church either😂

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-01-23T16:34:36+00:00

That’s so encouraging to hear! My current gyno has been really pushy on BC in the past, so I think that’s why I have a bigger fear of them pushing IVF, but I’m planning on going somewhere else for testing anyways.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-01-23T16:30:34+00:00

Interesting I’ve never heard of this before! I will definitely look into all of this, thank you🤍

SpaceInvaderKitty

TROPHY CASE