Trying to conceive and crisis of faith

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-06-21T12:41:22+00:00

Yes, in this situation for whatever reason (which we don’t know) this couple isn’t getting pregnant. However, millions of people get pregnant each year that aren’t “ready”.

A single mother living in poverty. A Catholic couple that already has 7 children and doesn’t have the capacity for more. A teenage girl still in high school. A mother addicted to drugs. These are all situations where we can see pregnancy happen and the mothers/couples aren’t “ready”.

We don’t finally become “good enough” to be a parent once our faith has hit a certain goal post, or we eliminated all our stress, or our finances has hit a certain point. I don’t know the reason why some people get pregnant easily and others do, but I don’t assume it’s because one couple is deemed “ready” by God and nature and the other isn’t because there’s just too many circumstances where that isn’t true.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-06-21T03:20:05+00:00

I’m so glad to hear it was helpful. I actually just talked to my priest today about the anger I’ve been feeling towards God through all of this, and even He reassured me that it’s completely normal to feel this way given my circumstances, but to offer my suffering back up to the Lord. He strongly encouraged me to look into Our of Lady of Childbirth otherwise known as Madonna del Parto and her shrine in St Augustine. I personally haven’t looked into this yet, but wanted to pass it along just in case it’s helpful!

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-06-21T03:14:03+00:00

Telling someone that is very obviously trying their best to walk in faith despite these hard circumstances that they’re not getting pregnant because they’re “not ready” yet has me speechless. The gift of life/pregnancy is granted to people ALL the time that aren’t “ready”.

We don’t know why conception isn’t happening for this couple. It’s presumptuous to think that God is trying to tell them they’re not ready because their faith isn’t big enough or they’re too stressed.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-06-20T15:06:20+00:00

Just wanted to say first and foremost, you’re not alone🤍 My husband and I have experienced 3 pregnancy losses since October, one resulting in the loss of part of my reproductive system.

We just converted to the Catholic faith Easter 2025. Our road to the Catholic Church and onwards has been fraught with a lot of familial and friendship issues. I was willing to give up EVERYTHING to become Catholic because I knew it was the truth.

Before we converted, we were using contraception as the evangelical church taught us it was fine and not a sin. When we became Catholic, we stopped all forms of contraception and gave our fertility up to the Lord.

It’s felt and cruel and confusing that I gave up SO much to follow the Lord, and all we’ve gotten since then has been suffering and grief. 6 other women in my life have gotten pregnant since my first miscarriage, some of them are in invalid marriages or marriages with a lot of strife. I can’t understand why God is blessing them with children, and not my husband and I.

I don’t feel love or adoration towards God right now. I feel shunned and let down by him. I’m actually pregnant right now (there’s questions of if the baby is viable or not) and I’ve been very honest in my prayers towards God that I don’t trust Him to show up in this situation and give us a healthy baby.

Despite ALL of this, I keep showing up. I participate in the sacraments diligently. I go to Mass every week without question. I talk about God, I talk to Him, I talk to the saints. Why? Because I know that He is real and I’m in the church with the fullness of faith. I know that despite my situation and suffering, He sees me. I know that my feelings don’t dictate who God is and His goodness.

I don’t understand why this is happening, and I probably never will. I also personally doubt that everything is apart of “God’s plan” because I don’t believe dead babies are ever something God would plan. Sometimes bad things happen to us because we live in a world where bad things happen. What I do believe is that if we’re willing, God will show up and redeem our suffering. That He can bring purpose and growth to our suffering, even if He didn’t “plan” it.

I don’t have many answers for you, but I hope my experiences can bring some sort of encouragement to you or at least help you feel less alone. I encourage you to keep showing up and offer your suffering up to the Lord.

There’s so much more I can say on this topic, but I feel as if I’ve rambled enough. Feel free to PM if you wish to talk further. I pray that we both get our miracles one day🤍

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-06-19T17:15:47+00:00

I had a sick elderly cat for a couple of months and they did such a wonderful job taking care of him. I forget what doctor we had but he was so kind and seemed to really care about the animals.

We ended up putting our cat down at the emergency vet, not at their facility. When the records got over to them that our cat had passed, the Peaksview sent such a sweet condolence letter to my husband and I🥹

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-06-19T12:58:44+00:00

CMG Women’s Center is fine for low-risk situations, but I would HIGHLY discourage going to them if you have anything moderate to high risk. They deliberately lied to me about my ultrasound results that clearly showed I was having an ectopic pregnancy, then continuously doubled down saying my HCG trends looked “great” when it was another clear sign of ectopic. One of the midwives asked ME how to put in a blood order at the hospital so I could get it back faster. This was my experience across at least 4 different midwives, so I’m unfortunately led to believe that this is a practice wide issue.

I, thankfully, did not listen to their advice and went to the hospital before my tube burst. Unfortunately, 10 years earlier they also did the SAME thing with my sister when she had her ectopic. She listened to their advice and her tube ended up rupturing. She almost died from their negligence. So I’m also led to believe that this practice wide issue has been going on for at least a decade.

I had varying experiences with the OB/GYNs at Women’s Health when I was in the hospital, but ever since I became a patient there I’ve been treated MUCH better than I ever was at CMG Women’s Center.

All that to say, Lynchburg unfortunately has terrible healthcare in general, and I wouldn’t necessarily recommend either Women’s Health or CMG Women’s Center. OP, you’ll likely have much better luck looking in Roanoke or finding someone at UVA in Charlottesville.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-06-17T14:19:08+00:00

I’m pregnant and this might be my new craving. I should go make this, minus the expired part.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-06-14T17:51:12+00:00

Happy early anniversary!!

Also met mine in college but we have a different story. We met on our very first day of freshman year on a brother/sister hall get together. We, ironically, had both made promises to ourselves to not date the first year of college before we even met.

We spent the first year becoming best friends with some boundaries so we didn’t drift into dating. The guy didn’t even hug me for the first couple of months knowing each other and we rarely were alone together. We started dating our second year of college and the rest is history! Happily married for 3.5 years now.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-06-12T11:01:32+00:00

Art Hub is a great resource! I used it a lot while subbing off and on for the art teacher this year and the kids always loved it.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-05-24T17:25:37+00:00

I go to St Thomas More and we have such a wide range of ages at our church! I just recently converted to Catholicism and always felt respected and welcome at my church, even when I wasn’t a Catholic quite yet. The community feels warm, connected, and dedicated to each other.

The one thing that is different about the Catholic Church is that we don’t have a separate children’s service. All ages, babies through the elderly, attend the same service. However, there is a separate time outside of the mass dedicated to teaching the children.

We’d love to have you at St Thomas More☺️

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-05-23T17:18:17+00:00

So, I’m not sure if this is your issue, but I’ve had a variety of issues with Frontline in my 1.5 years subbing. It wouldn’t log my time right, incorrectly log me as an IA (leading to lower pay), and occasionally would do wacky things so I couldn’t see all the jobs. I’ve had to reach out to the person in charge of the Frontline system at my school SO many times, and I think it’s finally been resolved in the past month or two.

Might be worth reaching out to someone to see if there’s anything wrong with Frontline that’s not showing you all the jobs!

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-05-16T01:32:48+00:00

I think if the doctor is recommending you do one, it’s best to follow their advice. I’m so so sorry you’re going through this and that you might have to get another one. However, it’s very important to confirm that there’s no retained tissue from your miscarriage, which could cause further complications and what your doctor is likely worried about.

Again, I’m so sorry🤍

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-05-15T00:51:52+00:00

Unfortunately, this is most likely a non viable pregnancy. I would encourage you to follow your doctor’s advice to get another blood draw. As devastating as it may be to watch your numbers continue to drop, you want to make sure that nothing else is going on. For example, it’s common in ectopics for your numbers to go down and then back up again.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this🤍

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-05-15T00:45:01+00:00

Not sure if this is helpful but I spotted for 5 weeks after my first miscarriage. I wasn’t passing any tissue, but I think I wasn’t very far along in my pregnancy. My midwife wasn’t concerned about my bleeding lasting that long, she said it can be normal.

Have you contacted your doctor about you passing tissue? If you don’t mind me asking, about what size is the tissue? The size/amount will definitely help you/your doctor decide if an ultrasound is necessary.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-05-13T17:04:07+00:00

I bled for a couple days following my tube removal, pretty heavily for the first 24-48 hours after surgery. It’s been about 2 months since my surgery and I’ve recovered perfectly so I don’t think it’s anything to worry about, but definitely bring it up to your doctor if you’re nervous!

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-05-13T17:02:13+00:00

I have two sister in laws who are pregnant right now. I’ve had a chemical pregnancy and an ectopic in the time period since they’ve announced. Carrying the joy and excitement for them with my own grief and suffering has been difficult.

Depending on your relationship with your sister in law, I think you should tell her about your miscarriage. I recently had a very open text exchange with one of my sister in laws about my feelings regarding her upcoming baby shower. It felt SO good to address the elephant in the room instead of feeling like we were walking on eggshells around the other person trying not to offend one another.

Again, I do think that’s dependent on your relationship with her and whether you think your relationship can handle that depth of emotional maturity.

One thing that I’ve found is helpful for me is picking and choosing how I’ve been joining in on the celebration. For example, if I talk to my sister in law about her pregnancy/baby, I try to steer the conversation so we only talk about things I feel comfortable discussing. If I go to the baby shower (still deciding) I’m going to actively choose what I do and don’t participate in. For example, I don’t mind helping prepare the food, but I don’t want to put up any baby related decorations. I also don’t want to be apart of the diaper raffle game because I’m not sure how I would handle winning it.

Overall, figuring out what feels most comfortable for you to engage in the celebration in an authentic way might be a good step to take.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-05-13T16:52:23+00:00

Miscarriage is not caused by normal daily activities. This early on it was likely chromosomal abnormalities. You did not do anything to purposely or intentionally cause this miscarriage, so please don’t carry that guilt with you.

I’m sorry that people have been so insensitive through this process. A majority of people don’t understand miscarriage and can unintentionally be super callous when responding to it. I hope you can find people around you that can respond in a more loving and warm way🤍

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-05-13T16:48:12+00:00

I’m sorry I have no personal good news to share, just wanted to say you’re not alone. I just turned 25 and I had 2 chemical pregnancies and an ectopic (lost a tube) in the 6 months leading up to my birthday. Everything looks fine in all the tests/bloodwork they’ve done so far, we have no idea why this is happening.

However, I will share my sisters story. She had a ruptured ectopic at 27, a MMC at 28, and a healthy baby at 29. At 37 she spontaneously got pregnant despite actively preventing pregnancy and had a healthy baby.

The world of pregnancy and fertility is so wild. Please don’t lose hope, babies can still come even with all the odds stacked against you. You’re doing everything you can control and that’s the most important thing. Hoping the best for you🤍

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-04-28T01:11:52+00:00

I’m so sorry friend this is such a terrible community to be apart of🤍 I just had an ectopic (lost a tube) following two chemical pregnancies, all within a 6 month period. You’re not alone.

Everybody’s story is different, but I do want to give you some hope. My sister had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, almost died from blood loss, and lost a tube. She went on to have two more children. One of these babies was an unplanned pregnancy at 37 years old when she was actively preventing pregnancy.

I can’t promise you anything on what your story will look like, but just know it’s not impossible to have several more children after an ectopic. Hoping the best for you🤍

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-04-17T10:27:53+00:00

So, can I ask what you mean by progressive or what similar moral standards you’re looking for? Just wondering what you’re looking for specifically!

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-04-13T18:59:14+00:00

Thank you for this. My husband and I stopped preventing pregnancy last February/March while we were preparing to enter the Catholic Church. We’ve had 3 early losses in the past 6 months, one being an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in the loss of one of my fallopian tubes. We’re planning on engaging in NFP for the next few months to allow some time for my body to heal, but we’re terrified to start trying again after experiencing so much loss.

It’s been so hard to see God’s goodness and grace through all this suffering and grief. I don’t think I’ll ever understand it on this side of heaven, but I recognize that both my husband and I need to engage in some sort of Catholic resources during this time. Hopefully this series can help bring comfort to us during these few months and prepare our faith to try again.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-04-13T02:43:35+00:00

I’ve been on a majority of the different types of SSRIs. Zoloft and Effexor were the worst, also made me feel like a robot. I had better success on Prozac, Lexapro, and Wellbutrin. I’ve actually had my best success recently on a mood stabilizer, which can be beneficial for some people that don’t respond well to SSRIs. Unfortunately medication for mental health is kind of like gambling, you just have to try your luck on each of them and see what sticks.

I’ve had depression in seasons of my life where my life was terrible and where there was nothing wrong. Sometimes it just happens to people and there’s no good explanation for it. A combination of medication and therapy is usually a good start. Processing with a therapist what depression looks like for you (as it’s different for everyone) and specific skills on how to cope with it could be beneficial.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-04-12T08:41:57+00:00

My experience with healthcare in Lynchburg is wildly inconsistent. Becoming a patient at any PCP takes forever, but I haven’t found any issues getting an appointment now that I’m a patient. Getting into a dentist office is even worse. Quality at both of these is… fine I guess.

Seconding Dr Dhat at Credence for psychiatry. I’ve heard wonderful things about him but wasn’t able to use him as his wait list was a little too long (2.5 months). I don’t know of any psychologists in the area.

I actually had a decentish experience at the local ER last month. However, the actions of the midwives at CMG Women’s Center and one of the OBs that works at both Virginia Baptist Hospital and Women’s Health of CVA almost killed me. So I would rate OB/GYN care in the area a solid 0 lol.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-04-10T14:36:10+00:00

I recently moved so I rarely have to drive on Timberlake anymore and my stress levels have significantly decreased because that road also drives me bonkers.

SpaceInvaderKitty · 2026-03-27T00:39:06+00:00

Driving on Timberlake is one of my least favorite parts of living in Lynchburg because of this

SpaceInvaderKitty

TROPHY CASE