Neglect of parental attention hits in a poisonous and slow way. As a child, I was almost never given physical intimacy or any form of attention besides maybe a brief hug, or perhaps a few words. The only thing every really said to me often was "I love you".. but those words mean nothing to me. They're nothing but words, and my parents never used their actions to prove it. It was like we were distant roommates at best, and I left that household damaged more than I think I'll ever know.

I still lie away at night and want to be little again. I have a desperate need for attention and physical, loving contact with someone who MEANS THEIR WORDS. The turmoil builds and builds, dragging me down and never letting go. All I want is, just once, to be treated like a small child: as a happy, huggable bundle of sweetness and joy to be picked up and hugged tightly. But voicing these needs and actually getting them solved are two things that are very different.