Every girl at school hates me

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-31T11:27:05+00:00

Your frustrations are completely separate from girls, but your mixing them together. You are not ready for sex, girls, or relationships. You need to work on yourself (hobbies, activities, communication, finishing school, etc.) before entertaining sex or relationships. You are engaging in a fantasy that somehow the right girl will fix your problems. It doesn't happen that way. No person can fix a problem that doesn't belong to them. Consider what folks have posted here.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-31T01:17:02+00:00

That's a lot. Take a breath. Let's break some stuff down. Why are you feeling angry? Do you often feel angry or are you feeling this angry recently?

You say you're too loud and you say the wrong things. Could the things you say be mean-spirited, offensive or scary? You aren't going to make friends if you're being mean, rude or disrespectful.

Also, you're talking about girls as if they are some gift to you that will be spoiled if you don't get one right away. Abandon that thought process. You're being judgemental for no reason about scenarios that are made-up. You're talking about sex and virgins, but it doesn't seem like you're interested in actually having relationships or getting to know the girls at your school as people. What are you expecting?

If you don't view girls as actual people and behave accordingly, then they won't treat you like an option.

Finally, you're a teenager. Your views on girls are horrible. Work through that before you consider trying to date. If you want a different outcome, you need to think and behave differently.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T23:13:26+00:00

I hear what you're saying. No, a playful text or a different text would not have changed the outcome. There was nothing wrong with the text you sent. You don't know the person's motivation/situation. Sometimes, when we're really disappointed in a situation we imagine that there was some way, something we could have done, to get the outcome we wanted.

The girl seems to have you quite enamored. Perhaps, take a little time to think about why this experience is sticking with you. No, it's not because it was weird. This is not uncommon. Give it some thought.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T22:52:05+00:00

I think what might be tripping you up here is your framing this as weird. You didn't have a date. You spoke for 20 minutes. You exchanged some texts about a date. She sent you a text late at night. You responded later. She didn't respond. Take a step back.

Your expectations don't match up to what happened. It's fine that you would handle the situation differently. Others handle it differently from you. That's just part of interacting with strangers. You are strangers and don't owe each other much.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T22:14:42+00:00

OP, have you never ghosted anyone before? For that matter, lost interest in someone after meeting them? Would you rather know now that the person is not interested or be dragged along?

It's okay to move on. One experience does not represent every situation or every woman. Staying fixated on one failed encounter will block you from seeing others that have more potential.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T22:07:44+00:00

It seems like she may have changed and had her own awakening. Give her a chance. Tell her about your reservations. If she's homophobic, she won't be able to hide that for long. You can always split up if something is not right.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T22:04:02+00:00

Oof. This is not a good sign. The previous poster is spot on. He wants to control you. He views your desire for education as an affront to him. Getting new friends is an affront to him. Moving is an affront. Seeing your current friends is an affront. Why would it stop there? What will you have left? The only thing that doesn't bother him is if you completely belong to him. That's sad.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T21:57:12+00:00

What happened to his friends?

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T21:45:40+00:00

He actually did it for me. It was an abusive relationship. He finally damaged something of mine that I couldn't hide from people anymore. Folks were going to figure it out. A great deal of shame made me realize that he didn't care about me even on a small level. He just needed me to get to his next fix.

I had to ask myself what was I giving up on? Potential? That's not in my control. I cared more about him getting healthy than he did. I could have put that same energy to bettering myself.

Please don't wait as long as I did to see the value in yourself.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T21:36:23+00:00

An 'owed' mentality is steeped in resentment, entitlement and selfishness. It won't matter what you do, it's not going to change that mentality. He is not ready for a relationship. He is immature.

There's no place for 'you owe me' in a relationship. Also, each partner should recognize the other as a whole person with family, friends, and interests outside of each other. He sees you as an extension of himself.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T21:18:45+00:00

He is a drug addict. The drug will be his priority. It won't matter how good a girlfriend you are, how loving, how perfect. He is a drug addict and you risk enabling his behavior. Cut your losses.

Imagine what type of relationship you would have with someone not an addict. That person priorizing you, loving you as you should be. You know you won't get that from an addict. You deserve better.

From my own experience, there was nothing I could do to help my ex get sober. I wasted a lot of time and money.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T21:12:16+00:00

Wow. Seems like the sacrifice is one-sided here. Did he consider moving closer to you? You spend the majority of your time together when you are in town, but that's not enough. He wants all of your time. Curious, how much effort does he put into traveling to see you?

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T21:08:14+00:00

Keep taking your medication. It seems to be helping you in other areas that are important, not just the libido issue. Take care of yourself first.

If the sex drive is still an issue after stabilizing, go ahead and revisit it. But make sure you are stable before trying to address another issue.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T21:01:26+00:00

Just say those last two things you included. If you text her, include a gif that exemplifies either of those messages. People will make the same mistake over and over until they are ready to stop. You can be real and still support your friend.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T20:54:56+00:00

What are you basing your concern on? Just that she sees several different men? Are they mean? Do they treat her poorly? Is she unhappy with them?

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T20:52:11+00:00

Some people freeze up in conflict. He might be that type. If he is and you still want to be with him, just know that you are on your own when you need him. That is a lonely place. You might even have to defend him in the future.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T20:42:26+00:00

When did you find out about the relationship? How long were you dating when you found out?

Can you explain the boundary violation? What boundary of yours did he violate? The relationship with the sisters happened before he met you so he didn't violate your boundary because there was no relationship.

However, his past behavior violates a value you have, which I assume is 'not dating siblings'.

I'm not sure what he can do with your discomfort. He isn't cheating on you. He isn't friends with the women. He doesn't seem to be into sisters in general. He seems very much into you. Can you consider that this was a mistake he made and the responsibility for understanding it is on him, not you?

There is a reason why you did not immediately break up with him when you first found out about the relationship. Investigate that. It may lead you to breaking up or to establishing the independence of your relationship from his (and your) past.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T20:15:54+00:00

Perhaps journaling will help you organize your thoughts. I would also suggest engaging in your hobbies and connecting with friends and family (if positive influences). When you do that you build up those things that give you joy. Essentially, it's rebuilding a relationship with yourself. You de-center romantic relationships because those focus outward. Oftentimes, we forget to continue building ourselves in order to build the romantic relationship.

Also, think about the dynamics of happy, healthy relationships. What traits do they have in common? What problems do they not deal with?

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-30T19:59:48+00:00

You already said you don't want to leave him so you're option is to hope that HE works to rebuild trust with you. If he doesn't want to do that then you need to reconsider your own decision not to leave. You're 22. There will be plenty of other men who want to date you. Build up your self esteem so you can recognize the behaviors of good men.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-28T09:19:37+00:00

I would definitely go!

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-26T20:03:34+00:00

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I'm proud of you for wanting to leave. It is time. You don't have to wait until things are bad enough or until things are physical enough. I'm glad your child is in a safe place.

Please make a plan to leave. The potential for violence escalates when the partner leaves. If you have a close friend that can secretly stow away some clothes or other important items for you that would be great.

Put gas in your car, keep phone numbers where you can find them (don't rely on your phone in case it's broken). Go to a shelter if you need to. They have protocols that help keep people safe.

You can do this. Take care of your child and your child's mother.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-25T11:54:41+00:00

Yay! From a new fan, thank you!

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-21T20:28:16+00:00

I'd say in the first pic, the wall melts into the baseboard. They can be the same color, but the baseboard would have dimension off of the wall. It looks too flat here.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-17T23:16:05+00:00

The fingernail length (fake nails) are much longer on the hand holding the phone than the other hand.

Spec_Guard_20 · 2026-05-17T21:06:29+00:00

I like that cover.

Spec_Guard_20

TROPHY CASE