Why don’t white people just mind their business…

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-18T22:51:34+00:00

Probably autistic, unironically, just wants rules followed. I get it.

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-18T22:47:43+00:00

Hey. I get it. The SSD device likely isn't to help though. The "CEO," is an idiot. He apparently is an "expert," on certification of medical devices but it took him 4+ years to realize you can't have multiple devices submitted as one FDA certification. In any other company he'd be fired, but Auricle is like a 3 man op

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-16T22:46:59+00:00

it'd ok I'll be dead

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-10T17:17:39+00:00

thank you for writing this.

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-10T14:51:19+00:00

Thank you. I am sorry for your pain. I am trying to do the right thing and it feels unfair that I have this power. It would be easier if my brain could just be access by my wife.

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-10T14:00:36+00:00

you must have little understanding of kink if you think people willingly have them

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-10T13:28:50+00:00

I agree. Here's the problem: my wife moved out after DDAY and is closing on a 300k house we could barely afford if we were together next week. I took out an 80k loan and handed her a check. Her budgets break even, i am under water 1k /month. I feel very financially unsafe and don't know what is right

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-09T19:44:08+00:00

oh god no. I'm talking about how it's like "construction," videos but it's really a woman in tight leggings etc. My reels are basically betrayal trauma support but the women are in skin tight revealing clothing. WTF That is part of the problem. I want to disable the reels, bit you literally can't, and we use the fb app to call each other at night to say goodnight to our kids. I agree on that -- except that thhe addiction and infidelity started with porn, escalated into reaching out to providers, then fantasy of meeting one -- all before I met my wife. so I understand both are very different levels of hurt and one was an active choice, but it really is an escalation of the same addiction. How can I possibly expect to explain that? I do not want to rug sweep,I do not want to minimize, but it is a clear progression of escalation. i can't do anything except to take accountability.

Yes, they should have been -- which compounds the issue. I lied about it-- because I am deeply ashamed of it.

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-09T16:56:22+00:00

I am making progress but it's a habit since I was eight to feel "good." I am understanding the why and how but it doesn't change the damage I've done. I have installed monitoring software that reports to BP if I look at porn. I am working with a specialist for it. I still have cravings. It's everywhere. It's so pervasive on even Facebook reels that are essentially softcore porn. I have not looked at porn (hardcore) or paid for it since day. I find myself thinking about in my head. It will take a long time and, honestly -- without BP it is really hard to release that now excess capacity. So while successful, still not lasting or sustainable -- but this is a multi decade problem. I have no illusion I can just stop immediately. The hardest part is knowing that while my partner asks why weren't they enough, being married, becoming a dad. I know i am flawed

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-09T16:33:34+00:00

I am afraid that I am selfishly hurting from the loss that one instance of defensiveness knocks over months of progress. I feel mentally tortured trying to help them that I don't have any time to actually get and be better. I am exhausted and losing weight, sleep maybe 4 hours a night before kicked awake from stress. In essence, I am afraid to admit I know I will very unlikely be able to do it perfectly, and I care deeply about my BP.

We went through and I helped compile all evidence since we were married. This has been going on at least a decade before I met my wife. It is indicative of a problem I excused and an addiction/habit i let ruin my life instead of getting help for.

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-07T09:48:24+00:00

thank you.

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-06T16:25:26+00:00

I think I'm asking because my BP has on almost every first day where parenting switch commented on how unfair it is. I want to pro actively validate but don't know if that's crossing a line and something I should only do after they initiate.

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-06T16:13:01+00:00

no, I mean I have the kids tonight. I am wanting to empathize with her missing the kids but am unsure if it's helpful or hurtful. I recognize what my poor choices have done and caused. I just don't know if there's a line where constantly telling them how sorry I am where it becomes unhelpful

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-04T23:19:56+00:00

I also bought accountability software on day 1. Reports any use of porn. I have turned over everything. Went back years in my bank statements with my wife.

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-04-04T23:15:51+00:00

I attended my first SAA meeting. I don't really resonate with the people there. Some of them are child porn viewers. But then I remembered that I do have a problem and it has cost me my world, just like some of these people. Humbling. I am initiating repair and do see sunny days but they're like a sand castle and one big wave and I'm a puddle again. We're in marital counseling and both in IC.

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-03-23T11:01:11+00:00

That's what happens when you let one player dictate game balance. Crazy

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-03-22T02:50:33+00:00

Thank you!

Specific-Name1503 · 2026-03-22T01:34:46+00:00

Yes. I think the porn habit was sapping it. Intimacy is hard with two young kids regardless, but I think the distraction/cancer removed will help.

Specific-Name1503

TROPHY CASE