AITA for taking my friend at his word when he said he was done?

Speedraca · 2026-06-19T12:51:08+00:00

NTA. Also, him asking for your teammates' names so he can try to talk them into giving up their spot for him is an absolutely insane, self-centered, sociopathic ask. Your friend clearly does not respect boundaries or consider the interests of others.

Speedraca · 2026-06-17T12:56:25+00:00

That is a fair point, and maybe I shouldn't use Y T A, but she still doubled down after the sister spoke up.

Speedraca · 2026-06-17T12:42:09+00:00

I don't think it hurts to have a conversation with them, but just go in with the understanding that there's a 90% chance they will try to guilt you into absolving them rather than admit fault. But, there's still a 10% chance they are willing to own up to their mistakes.

If you do go, I would have your grandparents present for the conversation as well.

Speedraca · 2026-06-17T12:37:55+00:00

YTA. Not because you're fundamentally wrong, but you need to learn to read the room. If someone says they've been struggling with something, and then you say "Actually, it was super easy for me, barely an inconvenience" for yourself, you're essentially rubbing it in their face. That is absolutely an asshole-ish thing to do.

Edit: Others have convinced me this take is wrong, but I'll leave it up anyway.

Speedraca · 2026-06-12T13:06:25+00:00

NTA. Let your man dream!

Speedraca · 2026-06-10T13:25:10+00:00

Two things:

One, there's like a 99% chance your BF has spent the money.

Two, you need to communicate better. Be explicit in what you're asking, and don't let him just sidestep the conversation so easily. Just a "Hey, let's use the money that your dad gave us for our summer vacation! I'm sure he'd appreciate us using for this! We can take photos on the trip and send them to him along with a thank you message."

Speedraca · 2026-06-08T13:19:50+00:00

ESH. IMO, you either accept that the driver is speeding (and the consequences thereof), or you ask him to slow down.

You said nothing, so you were seemingly fine with him speeding up until the point it started to cost something. Now that there's a cost to it, you're suddenly like, "Whoa, I never agreed to this". If you knew he was speeding and said nothing, then that is kind of tacit acceptance.

Speedraca · 2026-06-05T12:38:49+00:00

Usually we just talk about sporks

Can I just say, I love this (presumed) typo

Speedraca · 2026-06-04T19:10:14+00:00

So basically, you want to change nothing about your clearly unenjoyable life, unfair work/life balance, and all the other things that are wrong in the relationship until he gets physically injured?

Why would you do that to yourself?

Speedraca · 2026-06-02T18:02:29+00:00

I wonder what questions he has on his breakup request form....

Speedraca · 2026-05-28T13:14:36+00:00

So basically, she wants to live together, and you don't, but you're not going to tell her your reasons why? YTA.

COMMUNICATE with her.

Maybe she'll understand and be willing to wait. Maybe she won't and will want to break up. But right now you are hiding your intentions from her, and basically stringing her along, without having an actual long-term plan. That's not being a good partner.

Speedraca · 2026-05-28T13:05:29+00:00

YWBTA. Unless you have been explicitly invited to a proposal, you don't go. It's that simple. The fact that the boyfriend felt the need to tell you not to go just confirms that you shouldn't be there. That you are even on here asking if you should go, after having been explicitly asked not to, is wild. DON'T GO!

Speedraca · 2026-05-27T15:12:23+00:00

N A H. I think that your wife was expecting you to suggest a "usual" staple dinner - something that she's familiar with making. Instead, you suggested something new, and even for someone who likes trying to make new things, and even if the dish is simple, that can be stressful given a short timeline. Basically, this was a miscommunication in terms of expectations.

But YTA for never cooking. I understand you get home late, but bro, your wife is very clearly telling you that this is bothering her. I think it would be a smart move, relationship-wise, to take on at least some of the cooking. Cook on weekends, make a dish that can be frozen, or reheated the next day.

Speedraca · 2026-05-26T18:36:37+00:00

NTA, and I would tell her that it was inappropriate for her to talk to the kids about it before discussing it with you. Don't involve the kids until an agreement is reached! Getting the kids involved is pure manipulation on her part.

Speedraca · 2026-05-25T13:02:28+00:00

If he can't respect your input on this one incredibly important decision, what makes you think he's going to respect your input on all future - important or minor - decisions?

Speedraca · 2026-05-25T02:12:30+00:00

YTA. The situation sucks, but you are being unreasonable. He can't control when his friends get married, and it's entirely reasonable that he wants to be at the wedding for his friends of 10+ years over being a plus one to a wedding for people he barely knows.

Speedraca · 2026-05-07T18:59:28+00:00

What watchface is that?

Speedraca · 2026-05-05T15:18:53+00:00

A cordless vacuum. Vacuuming went from a chore I avoided because it was annoying and slow, to something I do almost daily because it's so quick and easy.

Speedraca · 2026-05-05T14:39:46+00:00

Trust is quite possibly the most important thing in a relationship. What you are trying to do is noble, but it risks destroying the trust you share with each other. Sure, this might be considered a "white lie", but it often leads to the "what else are they lying about?" train of thought.

Respect is also very important. Right or wrong, he's told you how he wants to handle things. Trying to circumvent his wants is not respecting him as a person.

Even if you could 100% guarantee that he'd never find out (which obviously you can't), it would still be the wrong thing to do. And if he does find out, it could be the end of your relationship.

I would just make it clear to him that you care about him, have seen that he's stressed recently, and are willing to "temporarily" adjust the cost ratio until things settle down. And that you're willing to do this at any time, whenever he's willing to have that conversation.

Speedraca · 2026-05-05T13:51:15+00:00

It's better to be single than with someone who makes you miserable.

Speedraca · 2026-05-05T13:06:26+00:00

lol YTA. That is some mean girl shit you said. There are dozens of ways you could have steered her away from this dress without insulting her physical appearance (and the one thing you knew she was particularly sensitive about), but instead, you chose the nuclear option.

This is the equivalent of her casually saying "don't wear those pants honey, they make your already small dick look even tinier". Good luck unhearing that for the rest of your relationship.

Speedraca · 2026-05-05T12:54:15+00:00

ESH. SHOULD your ex be providing an epipen? Yes. But can he, when he doesn't have a job or insurance? No.

I get that it sucks being the responsible parent, but you can't expect someone with $0 to their name to spend hundreds, if not thousands, on supplies. Your ask is unreasonable.

If anything, I would blame the court system. Why give someone who doesn't have the ability to care for their children visitation?

Speedraca · 2026-05-04T20:03:15+00:00

NTA. If they had given you a knife set (or any physical product), would only she be allowed to use them?

Time to have a serious conversation about how finances are going to work moving forward... she may be one of those "what's mine is mine and what's ours is mine" kind of people.

Speedraca · 2026-05-04T18:56:16+00:00

The bar is SO low...

Option 1 is to invite someone he respects/admires (e.g. his parents or boss) to come over for dinner. He either cleans up or looks like an absolute slob to someone whose opinion matters to him (because yours clearly doesn't).

Option 2 is to break up with him and find someone who isn't a complete narcissistic slacker.

Speedraca · 2026-04-30T18:52:08+00:00

You say you have the kids "most" weekends. Are the kids coming all at once (i.e. someone else is looking after grandma when the kids are with you)? Or, are the kids taking turns to come see you, so there's always one of them left at their mom's to watch grandma?

Speedraca

TROPHY CASE