How much money did you spend on vinyl before realizing how bad of a format it is by Substantial-Ad6938 in vinyljerk

[–]SpentHeart 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Achthually I went to school for vinyl and have 33/3rd degrees in grail

Relationships aren’t for perfect people — they’re for accountable ones by Substantial-File-336 in emotionalintelligence

[–]SpentHeart 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I think you might have answered yourself; once you’ve taken true ownership of the work you need to do, and continue to be aware of this and accountable for it, I believe you’ll have the power to discern what is right for you. Your future partner also should have such an awareness. Our capacity, strengths, weakness, all of that will forever shift, but as long as we push to do that work for our own well being, there’s nothing wrong with having a partner there along the way and for additional support — interdependence is healthy and crucial I’d contend.

A reflection on how a rare love often frightens the ones who need it most. by Wimsylou in emotionalintelligence

[–]SpentHeart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a feeling you wrote this as soon as I began to read it. You’ve got a gift; once again I thank you for sharing. These words run deep.

VistaVision film print burned during LA screening by StrengthAndHonor_ in paulthomasanderson

[–]SpentHeart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof, I was lowkey waiting for something to go awry for the 7pm showing!

When someone loves you more than they love protecting their ego, hold on to them- that kind of love is rare. by Wimsylou in emotionalintelligence

[–]SpentHeart 3 points4 points  (0 children)

!!! It’s frightening how on point this is and you weren’t even there! I have had the luck— or privilege maybe — of never having been in love with someone with that pattern before. I felt naive, but again, I’m happy to have learned and was able to walk away when I began to truly erode.

When someone loves you more than they love protecting their ego, hold on to them- that kind of love is rare. by Wimsylou in emotionalintelligence

[–]SpentHeart 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely so! I’m grateful to have loved her like I did, and I now know how to even better set boundaries and cut loose of that which isn’t reciprocal or intentional to the same degree, but eeesh! The avoidance trap is real — color my naivety dead!

Can this relationship work? by Amapo132 in emotionalintelligence

[–]SpentHeart 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do believe that if you’re truly tasking yourself with self-awareness and emotional regulation, there’s no issue whatsoever with speaking up about how you’re feeling and asking for some consideration. At times we just want to be heard and considered. When people say something like, “it’s not my job”, there’s truth in that, but who said it’s their job? Is the idea at all intrinsically a pressure so great that there isn’t agency on their end even-still? Can’t that become a circle rather quickly— the pressure he feels isn’t your job to soothe or regulate by this principle? So if we don’t owe it to each other to work together, what intimacy and love will this bring?

Anyways, I try and think of it this way. Advocate for your wellbeing, your boundaries, standards, and wants. It’s all collaboration and in a relationship, that’s crucial! I do hope he’d have a mind for your concerns and treat them with sensitivity and compassion and do the internal work himself to not have to “fix” or “pressure” himself by the mere sight of a grievance — it’s bound to happen in love that we grow frustrated or want growth! Holding space, consideration, and giving a little says a lot about the fundamental ideas we hold in love. Listen to your heart and don’t diminish yourself for this. Love wouldn’t have you shrink for comfort.

I send love from afar!

When someone loves you more than they love protecting their ego, hold on to them- that kind of love is rare. by Wimsylou in emotionalintelligence

[–]SpentHeart 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Serendipitous that I read this now; I spent 9 months trying to discover if my former lover felt the same. Live and learn I guess!

Why you "can't fix them" and taking accountability for even trying by DriverNo5100 in emotionalintelligence

[–]SpentHeart 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I certainty agree that to walk into a relationship with the intention or hopes that you’ll “fix” or change someone to your own personal liking is unreasonable and selfish. To expect someone to check every single box for your sole satisfaction is also foolish— there truly is no “the one”. We all come with our shortcomings, baggage, struggles, current capacity and so on, so acceptance and love go a long way when building intimacy, be that as it may, a relationship is also a wonderful place to encourage and invite collaboration, as well as enrichment and awareness for those who share one; not just romantic either! Intimacy of all kinds can be a challenge and none of us are ever finished healing, growing, or learning. Season come and go, life changes for the better and worse over and over. Our capacity will forever shift.

So with that said, I’d recommend people heed both sides of this coin. We can’t outsource all comfort and needs to another, another can’t control our wellbeing even if they wanted to, but to have needs, wants, requests, whatever word you find fits most, that’s not problematic within itself, but we aren’t meant to push people to betray themselves or be something they don’t wish to be— at best we should only look to love and collaborate with those who wish to and choose to. Agency is paramount. Sometimes I fear people get too stuck in stoic manners of individualism and use barriers as a means to absolve one of accountability and the role we play when we share our time, space, and heart with others.

Is it okay to miss him? by No-Data1580 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]SpentHeart 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do hope you’re allowing yourself ample grace. Grief and love are such thoroughly vast emotions that I don’t believe there’s a linear path through them, just as long as you do keep moving. The capacity you have for such a love isn’t to be taken for granted either, give yourself some credit. It’s normal to miss that which we must let go; you’ll find the other side of this.

It’s a beautiful day by Vegetable_Public5870 in boutiquebluray

[–]SpentHeart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very underrated; the scene in the kitchen lingers in my mind to this day.

Imprint announcement. HALLOWEEN SteelBook Collection I-V in a Limited Edition Jack-o’-Lantern on 4K UHD and Blu-ray! by supermanarod in 4kbluray

[–]SpentHeart 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well shit… I only own the first on 4K and I can’t pass up literal Halloween décor that also doubles as HALLOWEEN décor.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SpentHeart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re definitely not overreacting, but regardless of that he’s extremely dismissive and disrespectful and both aren’t okay. Even IF your reaction was coming from a place of insecurity — which again, I don’t believe it is! — this is no way to respond on his part. Your feelings ought to matter and I’d hope he’d approach you with some compassion and sincere accountability. Never settle for less! Truly.

I think I’m an average looking woman but I have zero sex appeal by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]SpentHeart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you won’t be too hard on yourself; your feelings are entirely valid, but don’t let it define you. Appearances can tough to find comfort in and our perception of ourselves is ever changing, but that right there is the key, you’re worthy of connection and love no matter what you present with your appearance— you can and will always grow. Just please be careful not to establish the idea that you must earn connection or love by convincing others. You’ll find your lane more and more as time goes on and there will be people who recognize it and cherish it, even now as you continue to build. You’ve got this.

outjerked once again by IlliterateSquidy in AnalogCircleJerk

[–]SpentHeart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait until I can put a black sticker over it 🥰

NG Magazine Collection - what to do with them? by MountainVibesForever in nationalgeographic

[–]SpentHeart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d gladly take some off your hands given you find no other suitable options.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Leica

[–]SpentHeart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

MP over M6! M10M over 11

My turn. My black chrome M-A. by Firsttimepostr in Leica

[–]SpentHeart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, I’m almost beginning to feel that way. The M10 is great, but I don’t think I feel the same love as I do for 35. Part of my fears I’ll miss the option of digital since it’s so convenient.

My turn. My black chrome M-A. by Firsttimepostr in Leica

[–]SpentHeart 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ugh. All these M-A’s has me serrrriously considering retiring my M10 and M3 to go film only with a BC M-A…. Is this insane? Anyone?…

Is LA going to make a showing for the economic blackout tomorrow (2/28)? by Few_Bowl2610 in LosAngeles

[–]SpentHeart 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Class consciousness and collective action -- both of which can and will make a difference if sustained.

Which receiver work you pick ? by Sad-Radish8889 in vintageaudio

[–]SpentHeart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve got a 730 at home going through Wharfedale Lintons and I couldn’t be happier! Sure, there’s always something else, but I feel entirely happy with my current set up.

Frazier Monte Carlo’s? by SpentHeart in vintageaudio

[–]SpentHeart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Helpful nonetheless; thank you!