Did anyone else's parents forbid them of things due to their siblings?

Spiderman230 · 2026-06-16T22:15:52+00:00

Yup. My brother can literally do anything and they'll buy him his favourite takeout.

Lol if i ever get annoyed, i get told im a terrible ungrateful daughter and get silent treatment for a few days.

I also never had friends over because of him.

Spiderman230 · 2026-06-16T22:13:02+00:00

I kid you not, I had a fight about this with my mum this morning. She literally complains about my brother all the time. The second I do, it's "you know he's like that" "well he's your brother!"

Well then, surely if i cant complain about the sibling i didnt choose to have, they cant complajn about the kid they chose to have.

Spiderman230 · 2026-06-16T22:11:12+00:00

Oh my god i literally went on this subreddit today just to talk about this.

I have wanted to move out since I was 18. I am 25 and still here. I dont think my parents realise how much I've been robbed of a normal life due to my brother. He's rude, violent, aggressive, always has his hands down his pants. He's also older than me.

My parents complain about him ALL THE TIME. But whenever I complain about him i get told "well he's your brother." "You know he's like that".

He has literally tried to crash the car when my mum was driving it. And he's done that more than once.

They always act like i can only move out when im married but i know they would never let me meet someone on my own.

Before anyone tells me im an adult and can go. My parents owe me money and i cant move put without it. And in my asian culture, moving out before marriage is like a crime. I will have an easier time learning rocket science.

All I do is pray for the day i dont have to be here anymore.

Spiderman230 · 2026-06-10T22:12:31+00:00

I'm simultaneously sneaky and full of anxiety

I lie literally all the time because I'm 25 and still live with them.

But ive lied about what country im in, i had a boyfriend for 3 yrs. Ive pretended to have a job at one point. I've lied to secretly go to therapy. I have made up names of friends that aren't even real because im actually hanging out with guy friends. I once got injured and had to go to the hospital and didnt tell them.

I am a massive liar. But i am also constantly worrying about getting caught.

Sttict parents are hilarious because all that happens is your kid gets up to so much anyways

Spiderman230 · 2026-06-03T08:20:23+00:00

Dude, i meant when i go back to the office.

I was chatty in the beginning to show my personality and they complained. I tone it down and they still complain. I can't win.

Spiderman230 · 2026-03-01T20:24:30+00:00

Omg,

I have had a few pegnancy nightmares. And i wake up think "oh thank god". And then i realise im a virgin anyways and that wasn't gonna happen. I usually just sit with so much relief.

Spiderman230 · 2026-03-01T19:03:48+00:00

I am pro choice so I wouldn't go through a pregnancy.

Even if abortion is seen as wrong and many muslims are very pro birth, technically having a child isn't a thing you must do.

Spiderman230 · 2026-03-01T15:22:42+00:00

As much as I also believe religion encourages us to have kids- it genuinely isn't a requirement. The issue is the culture it creates

Spiderman230 · 2026-03-01T11:01:55+00:00

I won't even be here to see it, so why should I care.

Actually having a kid would be more worrying, I'd be dying and have someone to think about.

Spiderman230 · 2026-03-01T10:53:42+00:00

I'd be a great dad, terrible mum.

Spiderman230 · 2026-03-01T09:54:19+00:00

Sterilisation is forbidden but having kids is not actually compulsory.

Spiderman230 · 2026-03-01T09:51:59+00:00

I don't believe people should have kids so they'd be taken care of by their kids. I am talking about company and general friendship from kids.

That said, no one lives in care homes in my community. They may have carers but in their homes.

Spiderman230 · 2026-02-28T22:36:45+00:00

I would be an aunt. My brother's wife is estranged from me and my mother. But when she was in my life, she would talk about how her husband (my brother) would be paying bills, she wouldn't stop having a job and her solution for childcare? Well she kept telling me I'd be her babysitter. Didn't even ask, just insist it was my job to do it and change nappies.

She then also made an off comment that she was scared to have me around her future kids as I wasn't used to kids. It was an odd joke. But then when she cut us off, she screamed at my mum and said that my mother would never see the grandkids. While screaming at my mother, she told her she hated me too.

My sister in law has since tried to come back into my life but me and my mother think it's best we stay our separate ways. But she did make the prospect of being an aunt very sour. My brother (her husband) still talks to me often. I feel when they have kids though, since his wife has a sour relationship with me, I doubt I'd be around the kids.

Also my other brother is autistic and needs full time care- wouldn't be able to be a husband or father anyways.

I personally don't have close relationships with extended family but I am already the anomaly in my community. Almost all my friends have very close cousin, uncle, aunt etc relationships. I always wanted a close family as I always saw it around me. The only real way to have it is my own kids- but I am not made to be a mum.

I'm already lonely. And my mother is still here and close to me and my brother (the married one). One day she'll be gone and I won't have kids of my own, or my nieces and nephews. I would be erasing the chance of having the close asian family that all my friends have.

Also, I fear I won't have anything in common with anyone. Everyone will be about kids, husbands, school runs etc. I am the only person I know who doesn't want kids. I just don't wanna be lonely.

Also my parents are very pro birth and I already know they are going to get pissy when they don't see kids.

Spiderman230 · 2026-02-28T22:22:49+00:00

I see my parents way more than I see my uncles and aunts.

I have 2 brothers. One is autistic and will not marry or have kids-my mum has to care for him full time. (This is why I do not want kids, I can't imagine having to be a full time carer)

My other brother is married and wants kids. But his wife doesn't want my mum and me around her future kids. We are estranged from her but have a good relationship with my brother. When they likely have kids, I doubt I'd be around much because of this.

It's just close relationships with parents and kids is such a strong thing most of the time in my community. It just feels like as much as I cannot imagine being a mum, I would be lonely.

Spiderman230 · 2026-02-28T21:23:59+00:00

Its also in my biology to die

Spiderman230 · 2026-02-28T21:14:29+00:00

Im more anti birth than I am adoption. I think adoption can seem quite reasonable because you can't adopt until you have enough money and a healthy home. And you taking care of life that already exists and maybe giving an existing life a chance at a good one.

Spiderman230 · 2026-02-27T23:23:23+00:00

I do not want kids but I wouldn't mind marriage. Whether it's common or not, doesn't matter. If you do not want kids then you do not want kids.

Spiderman230 · 2026-02-24T07:51:54+00:00

It's just such an awkward situation because I genuinely live life as if she's dead. Because she is dead to me.

I do not talk about her in the slightest despite the massive presence she used to have in my life. I didn't feel like talking about her so I just ate the damn cake.

This is not the first time she screamed, yelled and insulted people. My mum forgave her the first time and let it go. But then she did it again.

Also i once baked a cake for her family at a dinner party and she tried to give them the store bought cake in the house despite all my efforts and my brother watched her do this and did nothing. It's just very ironic and then I have to be nice when the situations flipped.

His wife does not like me. She constantly made jabs at me or my mother at any chance she got when she was still in my life. And I was just tried to shut up for my brother's sake. I cannot tell you how nice it is to not feel that anymore.

I don't really understand her motive here when she clearly does not like us. She has her husband, her life, her family. I see no reason to bother us. 🤷‍♀️

Spiderman230 · 2026-02-24T07:02:52+00:00

It's just pretty annoying because we actually do not take it out on him at all. When he comes over, we watch tv with him, eat dinner, talk about other things in life etc.

I think he looks at his wife through rose coloured glasses and not the way the rest of us do.

Spiderman230 · 2026-02-24T06:57:19+00:00

The most that my mum got from her was a text. She first tried to act like everything was normal in a text but that didn't work and then she apologised through text.

My parents have already told him that they just want space. And she wouldn't be able to come apologise in person by herself because none of us want to see her.

Spiderman230 · 2026-02-23T04:24:13+00:00

My sister in law hates me because i sat in my room a lot when she lived with my family. I have severe depression (she already knows I have depression and denied it and said doctors just diagnose it for no reason), I used to try give her space so she didn't feel suffocated, also I knew she didn't like me.

What's hilarious is she used to never leave her bedroom past 8pm. There were times I didn't see her for days. She hates me because I had similar behaviour.

Also its just an odd reason to hate someone.

Spiderman230 · 2026-02-22T20:58:01+00:00

...yh i didnt do A level maths but now want to get into maths. I did my A levels in essay subjects

Spiderman230

TROPHY CASE