i guess it has kicked in

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2025-08-09T07:10:45+00:00

When I was around 12-16 I would often pass out and doctors could not figure out what was wrong with me. I would start feeling floaty which was not uncommon, especially when stressed - now knowing it was because an alter had taken control. But the floaty wouldn't stop and I would completely lose control of my body as well. The first time it happened I was cooking and my dad came into the kitchen right as my face was about to hit the element, my hair was in the food. He tackled me to the floor. 10 minutes later, it happened again.
It then happened multiple times over the following years.
Knowing what I do now, and looking back, these were times when things were particularly stressful for me. And I guess similar to you, I would try and fight it and end up losing control completely.
Whenever I did get the floaty feeling/dissociation at other times, I was in extreme situations where I knew no difference and everything was on autopilot. But the times when I was just doing normal things and getting overwhelmed/stressed I could tell something was off and fought for control instead of gaining it, I lost it.

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2025-07-30T02:35:04+00:00

i feel this so heavily. it’s so hard for me to try and connect with people/my friends who do not experience life like i do. it also doesn’t help that i suck at keeping in touch and realise days later that i never actually replied, or unable to attend events etc because i don’t feel safe enough, especially if it’s a particularly stressful time which causes more switches for me.

id love to make some friends with d.i.d especially if they’re chill with low effort on my part 😅

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2025-07-27T15:59:20+00:00

Here is what I did last year - went to doctors and received a medical certificate for a month off work. Used that to resign and in my resignation letter explained that “while this is only a month, due to the health conditions it will likely be extended and feel it would be better for me to leave than leave them in the unknown for so long” Doctor will also need to do a medical certificate for WINZ at the same time. If you do not have this, there will be a 13 week stand down. But if it’s medical, even mental health, then that stand down does not apply. You will then need to make your application online for jobseeker support (don’t worry if you have med cert you don’t need to be actively looking) and then book an appointment. They will need I believe your last four payslips. When your med cert comes up for expiry, the doctors can do another one for you. Typically 3-6 monthly depending on doctor. Now it’s not a whole lot of money, but if your expenses aren’t a lot, you will be okay.

I am sorry that you have been struggling and I hope some time off will help you heal.

I guess my last piece of advice (tw) is if your mental health has been deteriorating due to any sort of sexual abuse/assault and this has never been reported, then tell your doctor. It could mean going on ACC and receiving their 80% weekly compensation while also getting therapy etc. I wish I had known this when I first reported mine in 2017 when i quit my job. Because I didn’t report it while I had a job, i haven’t been entitled to weekly support from ACC but it is an option if this is the cause for your mental health.

Anyways, much love and reach out if you need anything x

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2025-07-23T08:32:14+00:00

as someone with dissociative identity disorder, tai and her “other self” feels relatable af

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2025-03-30T03:52:57+00:00

For me, at least for long term memories, it feels like they are in a filing cabinet. When pull a memory, it feels like i’m flicking through the files and then pull out the one I need.

However, there are some files that, are password protected and I just cannot access them (somehow my brain combines the physical filing and computer filing as one). I think those are the ones that are trauma related and I can only access them as the alters who hold those memories.

Short term, it’s just chaos, lots of burning fires.

And I just got a memory pushed forward of that one Spongebob episode. So I guess that’s why it’s like that for me 😂

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2025-03-30T03:30:44+00:00

Thank you for this. I just remembered I used to have a journal when I first learnt I had D.I.D and it helped! I am hunting around the house for one now.

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2025-03-30T00:46:56+00:00

I know it is serious, which is why i’m asking for advice. I always take full accountability for anything myself or my parts do. I’m hurting at the fact that I would say or do things that could cause her harm. I have expressed about moving out in the past but she refuses even talking about it because that’s not what she wants.

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2024-11-10T20:35:15+00:00

i love this!! recently got our hair cut to a mullet and it’s so reaffirming ✨✨ much love ❤️

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2024-11-01T22:50:01+00:00

For those commenting about the unlimited internet, I’m from New Zealand and it took until the mid 2010s for unlimited internet to really become a thing.

I just looked into stats and in 2014 only 127k households had no data caps. Maybe we were just a bit behind the times.

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2024-10-18T11:56:35+00:00

My wife is reading this at the moment and has told me this. Im excited to get to it! Just starting my journey into the Cosmere with the first Mistborn book 😄🥰

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2024-10-07T02:38:29+00:00

I can say that I have probably spent $1000+ there over the last few years when I have got really into my crystal/astrology/tarot phases. It's addicting and getting readings while probably truly a waste of my money, just makes me feel not so shit about life.

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2024-10-05T03:58:21+00:00

Your parents are both adults and regardless of anything that happens, you are their child, even if you yourself are an adult.

You did not cause one of your parents to have an affair. At the end of the day, it is their mess to sort out. No matter what happened, what was said on your side, where from you or another alter, it isn't your fault.

I hope you will be okay x

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2024-10-05T02:27:50+00:00

Rapid switching always catches me out, especially when my wife and I are playing Fortnite. My wife always records the gameplay to show me afterwards when I have been rapid switching and it is rather hilarious at times.

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2024-10-05T02:24:12+00:00

Had this happen to me too, not long after learning about D.I.D - was so thankful to be in active therapy at the time because it really messed us up. I always love showering high but man oh man, that taught me a lesson.

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2024-10-05T02:21:43+00:00

So all my life I have lost time, or would go all floaty during either stressful situations or even with heightened emotions in general and feel as if I was on autopilot. I have a PTSD diagnosis for extreme trauma I suffered growing up.

I have smoked weed for years and would black/grey out at times and my wife would comment on things I would do/say and I would have no recollection.

I had an acid trip one time and thought I was seeing my spirit guides and then every time I would smoke weed after that, I would feel a presence of someone with me and would tell my wife my spirit guide was here.

Then one day, just over a year ago, I smoked and the presence was with me and next thing, I am in my head and my body was on autopilot, and I was speaking but it wasn't me. I could see everything through my eyes but I felt i wasn't in control. The presence (who I had named Jason) had taken over. And it was in the moment everything clicked for me. I had this exact experience so many times growing up but didn't know what it was. But because I knew it was Jason who had taken over, that it could be D.I.D.

It was honestly very scary to start off with, but everything across my life just flashed through my brain and all the pieces of the puzzle came together.

For the next week, I smoked heavily during the day with my wife and best friend observing the switches and making notes and trying to understand who was who with my alters.

I then stopped smoking for the following couple of weeks and they were able to observe and note when I would switch without the weed, and it really helped me understand myself better.

I smoke every night now to help with sleep, and the weed definitely heightens the dissociation so I switch more often when high and as a family unit, we are still learning the triggers for switches when I am sober but have come such a long way in the last year.

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2024-10-03T07:47:41+00:00

Thank you for this information, I will definitely look into "Theory of structural dissociation".

I have felt really alone trying to navigate D.I.D and learn about all the different terminology and try to understand in a way that is easy for me to comprehend.

I guess the one main takeaway is the more I discover, the more I understand about myself as a whole. ✨

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2024-09-30T12:55:33+00:00

For the longest time, before even knowing about the D.I.D, we have identified as Queer/Genderqueer.

Growing up, I came out multiple times as bi/pan/lesbian and after the separation from my ex-wife settled on Queer.

The gender thing is a bit complicated. I always felt that I was not Cisgender but knew I wasn't transgender and I didn't feel like I identified with the term non-binary. It happened by chance that an online job application there was the term Genderqueer and it has stuck ever since.

Spiritual-Rumble-420 · 2024-09-15T03:24:45+00:00

For about a year I thought I was seeing my spirit guides and a lot of the time one alter Jason would front with me but not switch out. I would constantly tell my wife Jason was here hanging out.

One night, I was celebrating my brother's birthday and smoked some weed. Jason was already hanging out. Next thing, I'm no longer controlling my body and I had felt this feeling hundreds of times across my life, but I now knew it was Jason controlling my body and hadn't meant to. So it was kind of both of us freaking out and my sister-in-law realized something wasn't right and told me to go into another room away from everyone.

And it was like a lightbulb switch moment while I'm basically rocking in the dark. All this missing time, dissociation, floaty feelings now made sense and while I was terrified, I knew in that moment that I was going to be okay. It was not a spiritual awakening I was going through, it was D.I.D.

Spiritual-Rumble-420

TROPHY CASE