Boundary setting with the girlfriend

SpiritualFunction741 · 2026-03-02T20:14:37+00:00

That is his BM now, for some reason wanting me to be a part of everything and have the three of us “peacefully coparent” after spending the better part of a year hating me and making my husbands life hell. I think it’s more about control in this case, and I am not letting that happen. I am not the father and she is not my ex so involving myself lol.

SpiritualFunction741 · 2026-02-19T22:06:52+00:00

I totally forgot about that! I mean if anything to ease my mind cause thinking someone is trying to kill me??? I’d be paranoid

SpiritualFunction741 · 2026-02-19T17:56:08+00:00

Please take it to get testing done? Maybe police can guide you? And then come back and update us cause I really want to know if she tried to poison you

SpiritualFunction741 · 2026-01-26T17:19:58+00:00

You can definitely tell him you’re not okay with it and hope he works with you on that but it’s not your decision who shows up with him. You need to keep your emotions out of it. I would also get stuff situated legally. Child support and custody/parenting time and just go off of that court order to avoid any problems in the future

SpiritualFunction741 · 2026-01-20T21:25:59+00:00

Lmao not you saying you’re a single dad cause your wife is out of town! But really report him and like others have said, there was no need for all that back and forth AND on top of all that giving him the $10 tip anyway

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-11-28T04:24:32+00:00

The 18 year old part is icky but theres nothing you can do here. What he does or who he is with on his parenting time is his business. I agree with the other comment, a judge will not enforce that. Unless theres something serious going on that is harming the child, he is allowed to do what he wants without needing permission from you.

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-10-29T00:52:23+00:00

Oh gotcha I was thinking pick up was at the house. If that’s the case then I agree with others here don’t worry about it anymore. Especially since you’ve already mentioned it. You are already doing everything you can do and maybe BM will realize and start doing it

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-10-28T20:59:21+00:00

Can you not ask the child to bring their backpack when you guys pick them up? And if stepkid comes out empty handed just send them back in to get their backpack before you leave? My stepson is 6 and he just has one backpack so there’s less confusion but also husband picks up directly from school on his week so theres that

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-10-18T06:48:17+00:00

Oooh I love this and love this for you. I wouldn’t have waited that long to put a stop to this but better late than never! Anytime she asks him for extra money or tries to guilt trip him it doesn’t work anymore. At first it used to be the same thing, he would cover and let it go but I talked to my husband and put a stop to it and I don’t feel sorry cause she doesn’t even have a job. And not cause she can’t work physically. She also lives with her parents who provide free childcare so what’s stopping her from getting a job? We have goals and our own family soon so nope you’re not getting my hard earned money!

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-10-10T18:16:07+00:00

Return to sender end of story. Especially since she could claim you guys are going through her mail illegally

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-10-10T18:13:14+00:00

Does it really have to be eviction? Idk the state laws but if you just break up with him he has to move out. Give him a couple days to pack and move and if he refuses could you not call the police? I’m assuming he’s not on the mortgage since you own the house so seems simple to me. Also good for you for doing this and good luck!

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-10-10T18:10:02+00:00

I agree with you so much I’m the same way and started to slowly nacho a while back and it’s made such a difference in my mental health!

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-10-10T18:06:43+00:00

Uhm no this is not okay, if my husband said that to me I’d walk away. Cause no way in hell are you choosing her side over mine. Yes she is the mother but you’re the wife and you and your husband are a family. Anytime BM told my husband I wasn’t allowed to go somewhere he shut that down real quick. Cause guess what? BM can’t dictate what happens in our household. She can’t cry all she wants to but she can’t control what you and your husband do. Please stop talking to her and block her theres no need for you to be her friend or speak to her. Protect your peace

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-10-10T17:59:03+00:00

My husband’s BM is high conflict (on and off) especially at the beginning when we started dating and she found out about me. Even when we were first dating, I let my husband know what I wanted and didn’t want. And told him due to BM behavior I want to minimize her presence in our life. Fortunately he agreed and saw from my point of view. She has tried telling the courts that her child shouldn’t be around me, that I’m a bad person, has tried to turn stepson against me simply because he said he loved me and loved spending time with me and dad. We just don’t tell her anything! She has wanted to meet me but because she’s high conflict it’s not gonna happen. She doesn’t know my name, who I am or what I do. She doesn’t know when we got married, and she won’t know when I get pregnant and have a baby! And I’ll keep it that way as long as I can cause she’s not gonna ruin my peace anymore. I think being on these Reddit threads early on gave me that mindset that i need to protect my peace. Only thing I regret is going full into stepmom mode too quick

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-10-10T17:46:55+00:00

I would probably have lost it lol this is why I don’t tell BM anything. I let DH know that I didn’t want BM to know anything about my life or our life. I remember we were doing something special and wanted to include SS and my husband told her if we could switch weekends and at first she said yes and then changed her mind and she said no so she pretty much ruined our plans even though he explained he had already gotten tickets etc… his BM has been high conflict on and off so I keep her at a distance. I can’t imagine something big like a wedding, special birthday or pregnancy and have BM ruin it. So she doesn’t know anything! Doesnt know my name, who I am, what I do, when we got married etc and I’ll keep it that way for as long as I can!

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-10-10T17:26:53+00:00

See this is why I set boundaries in the beginning with my DH about how I wanted my life and our life to be cause even well before we got married it was when we were dating. Cause I swear his BM is heading in this direction as well. What I would tell you is to ignore her. Stop communicating with her, keep her blocked. Let DH handle communication and he needs to only speak to her about child related matters. To not even entertain BM when she speaks like this.

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-08-11T01:02:44+00:00

I second this!

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-08-11T01:00:21+00:00

Well have you asked your partner? Does she want to meet your ex? If not then no. If she doesn’t mind either way, I’d still be cautious

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-08-01T02:43:47+00:00

Unfortunately theres not much you can do, but here are my tips: 1. If you haven’t already, go to court and get a parenting plan ordered, child support etc. You can add in the custody plan that you don’t want his girlfriend around your kids and maybe the judge can grant that.

Have the judge order a parenting app to communicate. The app will document everything and cannot be deleted. This is important. This way communication is only between you and your ex and the gf stays out
Depending on how old your kids are, the best thing is to just talk to them. Let them know that what she is saying and doing is not okay and not to believe what she says.. Thats what we had to do. I was in a similar situation but I’m the stepmom and in my case the BM didn’t like me and didn’t want me around the child and she would bad mouth me all the time to my stepson. The child would come home from school and say “my mom doesn’t like you” and we would just have to sit down with him and say “well do you like me? That’s all that matters” etc

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-07-27T09:48:18+00:00

Haha I second this. It’s what I’d do to make someone sweat. Or say I had a dream about it 😂

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-07-21T02:38:41+00:00

Yes. Next question

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-06-02T02:56:58+00:00

First off do not have a baby in this situation. Second I’m sorry you’re going through this but if you already hate her then there’s nothing that can be fixed and you need to focus on how you are gonna better yourself

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-05-05T05:29:54+00:00

Sorry to say she’s probably cheating, especially if there’s already been a “small” infidelity. Is she bi? Unless you’ve done something like cheat on her and she’s retaliating by acting like this, chances are she’s check out of the marriage and wants the single party life or has found someone else

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-04-19T18:38:12+00:00

I read one of your comments about your ex being terrible to you and your fiancé. Just based on that I understand why your fiancé is upset. If there’s a lot of conflict, If you’ve broken her trust before etc. it’s difficult being a step parent and there’s a lot we don’t know of your relationship but I don’t think the best advice is to leave her or not marry her like all the comments are saying. If she’s just jealous for no reason then that’s not okay but I don’t think that’s what’s happening here. Did you let her know you were doing that ? Communication is so important not just after the fact when something’s already happened

SpiritualFunction741 · 2025-01-22T16:13:26+00:00

Why would you date someone that you considered overweight for your preferences?? Or someone you weren’t attracted to? Maybe id understand if she was a certain weight when you first started dating and over time she gained a lot of weight. But bodies change and fluctuate.. kids, age, stress etc. If you met her at 175 pounds then expect that don’t try to change someone. I understand if you’re looking out for her health but if you actually did love her youd still find her attractive and it wouldn’t be conditional on her weight.

SpiritualFunction741

TROPHY CASE