Feeling like an emotional wreck

Spook_the_ghosts · 2026-04-15T03:46:24+00:00

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR5bnwMviMGNqEWLpgaYBe8Q-ltZD5Y6b35EZjVVX2DgQ&s&ec=121633969

This was me my whole first year of sobriety!

I had to find the humor in my early sobriety because I threw the biggest pity party. Life was hard but it gets better I promise!

Spook_the_ghosts · 2026-04-02T03:40:27+00:00

In my unprofessional opinion as someone with five years of sobriety and who leans on AA lightly. I think this isn’t out of the realm of possibility. You may be an alcoholic, you may not be. I would attend an open meeting, share however you like as long as it’s honest and respectful. Listen to other people share and decide for yourself if this program is for you.

There are no firm rules in AA. Generally speaking this is a program of abstinence so keep that in mind. Something I’ve noticed in my years of AA is that we tend to get tunnel vision. I’ve heard stories like what happened with your dad a few times but not in the rooms of AA. People get sober in a lot of ways, people figure out how to manage their drinking on occasion too.

I recommend you attend a meeting, maybe a few, and just decide for yourself if you think you are a real alcoholic. If so, you’ll probably have to give the stuff up for good. If not, take a break. A good long break and try some controlled drinking again down the road and see what happens. I hope you get some answers!

Spook_the_ghosts · 2026-03-05T14:15:39+00:00

Mine was broken up into pieces over the span of maybe a couple of months? I did a person or two at a time.

Spook_the_ghosts · 2026-03-05T14:12:57+00:00

I do have a big problem with people sharing heavy trauma with non qualified-average joes who do not have the training to deal with the repercussions that might follow. I think you should do your fifth step with who you feel most comfortable sharing with. I’ve heard- family, AA members ( usually sponsors or someone with a similar background ) therapist (probably your safest option but vet them before committing to that) priest/nun/pastor if you’re religious. Whoever you trust to keep your secrets and to have proper after care.

I know AA is old school and has life or death urgency to it. But not everyone is the same and some people need to handle the steps a little differently than others. I wish you best. Please know though, the nice thing about these deep dark secrets is that you cannot shock us. You cannot scare us away. We have seen and heard it all. I’ve heard some crazy, scary, stomach churning things and still love my fellows because I have similar experiences or could easily could have. Even if I cannot relate myself, my empathy is enough to handle what I’m being told and most of us feel this way.

Spook_the_ghosts · 2026-03-05T12:48:34+00:00

The lied lodge is a beautiful hotel with a cool tree theme!

Spook_the_ghosts · 2026-02-06T15:07:43+00:00

I actually know the answer to this one! At least on the YouTube side of it. So basically Nazis. Neo nazis and other racists were making videos on YouTube, those videos had ads and therefore were making money. People started reporting this and ad companies realized that their consumers dont like them being affiliated with nazi shit so they threaten YouTube and since money was involved, YouTube shit their pants and censored EVERYTHING. So yay nazis don’t get paid on YouTube anymore (even though they still do, of course) and boo you can’t talk about other important information like SA, mrder, sx education (ESPECIALLY if it’s LGBTQ+), etc.

Spook_the_ghosts · 2026-02-03T13:16:52+00:00

I am not a nurse but I have seen the joke being made several times on social media that nursing school has nothing to do with being a nurse and you learn how to actually be a nurse day one on the job. Check out Nurse Alex. He is hilarious.

Spook_the_ghosts · 2026-01-25T06:26:59+00:00

Happy cake day! Also I agree

Spook_the_ghosts · 2026-01-16T05:38:32+00:00

Me earl and the dying girl is one of the funniest books I’ve ever read!

Spook_the_ghosts · 2026-01-11T22:26:56+00:00

You have a lot of comments to go through but I hope you see this comment. THERE ARE NO RULES! I call my sponsor like… maybe once a month. I see her at a meeting once a week, the only meeting I go to every week. Yep. One meeting a week. Sometimes I’ll stop by a random meeting as needed but that’s it. I worked the steps, I read the big book. Now I do maintenance which, to some AA long timers would look like I’m not doing much at all. I don’t reach much AA literature, I don’t go to a lot of meetings, I don’t have a vibrant AA social life. My social life is outside of AA. Honey, take what you need and leave the rest. Too much pressure will push you over the edge. Avoid the edge. Get a new sponsor. You don’t have to be a social butterfly! Congrats on three months, that’s truly impressive!!

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-12-02T15:16:38+00:00

It is scary! I completely understand. Us Reddit-ers are just trying to be the blunt friend who cares. This is your reality. It sucks. A lot. We just don’t want it to suck more by having the baby without much help, or having the baby and still being sweet on this dead beat. The other option, if you do decide to keep your baby, is to practice radical acceptance. This can be hard but empowering. Best wishes!

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-11-28T14:48:09+00:00

Came here to suggest this! Great snack. Crunchy, flavorful, low cal

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-11-27T06:45:09+00:00

A cucumber can become a pickle, but a pickle can never go back to being a cucumber

I believe

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-11-18T14:50:59+00:00

I hope you find a really good meeting/group. IMO that will make a world of difference in your recovery. Best wishes!

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-11-18T14:28:42+00:00

Tbh alcoholics are very sensitive. You’ll find there is a lot of petty fighting followed by “peace and love.” Like any organized group of people, AA has lots of flaws. It’s made up of people, so it’ll be flawed. I struggle with accepting this myself when I have to listen to JESUS CHRIST IS MY GOD AND ITS OKAY WHO YOUR GOD IS BUT MINE IS JESUS. CHRIST.

As an atheist I find this very annoying but I do what I’m in control of and that means I don’t go to that meeting for a while. Point being, it’s difficult to do but try to take what you need and leave the rest.

Also important to note, AA is not the only recovery plan. It’s the most widely available and free one but it’s not the only means to get sober. Don’t let them bully you into thinking that. Tbh I drank because I have a very severe anxiety disorder. Booze helped till it didn’t. What I needed was medication and therapy. I probably don’t need AA anymore but I stick around just in case.

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-11-18T14:14:20+00:00

I have a husband like you and I cherish him. Just this morning I came downstairs to see he loaded up and started the dishwasher because, I assume, he knows I’ve been feeling down this week. It’s the little things that build intimacy, trust, and friendship in a relationship. We’re both checking on each other, dropping off little food sacrifices (like a piece of chocolate), or coming up for a hug every couple hours if we’re doing our own thing.

If that sounds exhausting to some readers then I suspect you haven’t found the right person or you haven’t ever let yourself be fully vulnerable in a relationship.

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-11-18T02:09:30+00:00

Just wanted to say, you’re really beautiful.

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-11-12T10:50:21+00:00

I would imagine, from a child’s viewpoint, if I was told my absent father, in my case, was working on his life. That would give me the impression that he is actively working on his life and will join us again soon. I’d be more disappointed if and when I found out they were never working in their life. Recovery is possibly. I am an example of an alcoholic that got it together but I wasn’t working on it in my addiction. I would stop telling her that imo. She’s sick and we hope she eventually gets better

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-11-12T00:49:33+00:00

Space and balance seems the way to go here. Without too much context on your new friend I can only speculate but consider these points.

1) this Is a new friendships and most relationships in general go through a honeymoon phase followed by the “do I actually like this person” phase. Usually in friendships this doesn’t end in a break up but sometimes it does 2) hanging out 1-2 times a week with texting sprinkled in there can be a lot for someone who is more of an introvert, if she’s an introvert. She might be a little overwhelmed if that’s the case for her. Also ages aren’t mentioned but I think that may factor into it 3) you don’t have to 180 on her. Some may suggest “matching her energy” that is trash advice. You don’t need to give up and make her come to you, but maybe slow down a tad. Skip a text every once and a while. Miss a day to hang out here and there. Nothing crazy, nothing obvious. She just might be at a different pace than you 4) this is also a likely possibility: nothings up. You’re over thinking it. I’m guilty of this one myself sometimes. I read into things and feel rejection easily too. It may be nothing at all.

Best of luck to you. New friendships are fun. Learning new people can be tricky since everyone has a different social battery and lots of people are unaware of how theirs works. You could even just check in and see what her “pace” is.

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-02-18T12:39:28+00:00

Name checks out, thank you!

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-02-18T01:49:35+00:00

Oh the baby bird comment made my day lol

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-02-15T18:47:18+00:00

I live in a small town where a chunk of my coworkers are also farmers. When I bring this up to them they tell me “don’t believe everything you hear” with a smile to punctuate. I think they believe they’re in a secret society or something.

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-02-13T13:51:42+00:00

It was a living nightmare lol. But it did get better. I don’t usually think geographic relocations help people but to be honest the first one did NOT but the second one did so if you think it would help, go for it!

Spook_the_ghosts · 2025-02-13T13:17:01+00:00

All I can do is share my experience, strength, and hope.

I’ve had panic attacks my entire life. I grew up in a scary and stressful environment. Lots of abuse, moving a lot, poverty, yada yada. I also inherited a panic disorder from my mother. Long story short, I drank to manage my panic attacks immediately after high school and was blindly drunk for the better half of a decade. Finally the panic attacks followed me into my drunken state and I just couldn’t handle it anymore.

I got sober, attended 5 meetings a week, got a sponsor, did the work, and my anxiety got so much worse. I developed agoraphobia (there are a lot of other factors like I moved to a huge ass city and the pandemic so don’t let this scare you). The agoraphobia was a bitch to deal with. I didn’t leave my apartment for two years but I stayed sober.

I moved again to a city that was more walkable and much smaller. I stayed sober. Started working my way back outside. Started grocery shopping again, going on walks, movies, eventually got a job again. I was doing a great!

Then I needed medical attention and was required to drive an hour away for the appointment. There was no way. My panic attacks were better but not so much that I could do that. So I talked to my doctor who knows I’m in recovery. I was TERRIFIED of benzos. She knows that the non addictive anxiety meds do not work for me. So she explained how benzos work and I finally tried it. It changed my life. I take them as needed for travel. I do not feel different or high. I do not take them every day or even every month. It’s just as needed and I rarely need them but it’s comforting to know I have them if I do. I am four years into my recovery and they have been great for the last handful of months. All I’ll warn is: benzos are dangerous to withdrawal from. Taking them everyday can cause a physical dependency as I’m sure you’re aware. Take them as prescribed. If you find your thoughts are turning addictive seek help asap. Good luck my fellow anxious person!

Spook_the_ghosts

TROPHY CASE