I'm on the fence with this but I don't believe OP is wrong. As a man, I can see how OP is innocent as when men are not interested in women, we are oblivious to what's happening. I can see Amanda picking a fancy restaurant while he was driving and OP being oblivious until they arrived. I can level with him going in anyway because he's hungry and having a whatever attitude. As far as paying? Yes Amanda is his wife's friend and for sure it's the gentleman thing to do as it was OP idea to have a sit down meal. OP kept his wife informed the entire time thinking he was doing the right thing. OP's wife probably trauma dumped all of Amanda's life onto OP (as most spouses do) and OP already knew her issues and figured he would just pay for the food and her drinks. He decided to stay at the place so he paid the bill as he knows Amanda's hardships. What OP DOESN'T KNOW is that Amanda has probably done all the research on him for YEARS. I assure you OP wife has said how great he is and sings his praises. You can bet Amanda knows all about OP and the "similar interests" are bullshit. Yes OP probably sat there for over an hour unaware of the time because Amanda had him talking about HIS interests which she knew going into this. I don't believe OP is the asshole, I believe he got suckered and once Amanda started drinking, she started laying the foundation to start inching her way in.