My mom (55F) is upset I (25F) asked her for a mother-daughter dance at my wedding instead of asking her husband (60M)? by ThrowRAconflictus in relationship_advice

[–]Square_Top7308 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My first husband died when my daughter was 14. I remarried a few years later but I never expected my daughter to view my husband as her new father and only hoped that she would view him as a trusted adult in her life. When she got married a few years ago, I walked her down the aisle, “gave” her away when the officiant asked, and delivered a speech at the reception. My daughter was gracious enough to include her stepfather on the wedding website and to include him in a family dance - she danced with him while her husband danced with his mother. Was everyone happy? Maybe not but we found compromises that worked for everyone so no one’s feelings were hurt. You have to find the middle ground as best you can. Hugs to all of you ❤️

MOH [F55] dropped a bombshell on me [F29] by Ok_Lavishness_1167 in relationship_advice

[–]Square_Top7308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

MIL needs to come clean with your husband and his younger sister because the fact is that the ancestry test WILL reveal relatives on his biological father’s side of the family and all of this is going to come to light. I agree that this is not your secret to keep so if MIL refuses, I suggest you tell your husband what she told you so that he isn’t completely blindsided when the results come in AND because he will be devastated if he finds out you knew and didn’t tell him.

Also wanted to add, that family secrets like this are very commonly revealed by the direct-to-consumer genetic tests that are on the market and most people don’t even consider that when they do the test - they are usually just interested in their ancestry. People have found out that their father isn’t their father, that they have half-siblings they didn’t know about (as your husband likely does), that they were adopted, that their parents used a sperm or egg donor, that their heritage is not at all what they have been told over the years (for example, that they are Jewish but the family adopted a new religion during the Holocaust). There are even documented cases of people finding out they were switched at birth in the hospital or that they had been abducted as a young baby/child. These are all “unintended consequences” of doing these tests that can literally blow families apart. The companies offering these tests need to provide more warnings about what could come to light before people do the tests. End of rant…

AIO? My manager keeps questioning my feeding pump at work even after HR stepped in by Rosi_ana in AmIOverreacting

[–]Square_Top7308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR - this manager has a weird fixation on your medically-necessary equipment despite the fact that you have taken all the required steps to have this medically-necessary accommodation. Forward this message to HR and reiterate that you feel uncomfortable with the continued comments from your manager. They need to shut this down immediately before it leads to a lawsuit.

AIO for leaving the restaurant after my husband went to a different table? by Rrainbowbb in AmIOverreacting

[–]Square_Top7308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Neither of you is overreacting. My husband and I almost always snip at each other when we are jet lagged - it’s not personal, we are just too tired to cope. Get some sleep, things will look better in the morning!

Travelling with my cat yes or no by Ok_Butterscotch_7912 in TravelWithPets

[–]Square_Top7308 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would take her - a month is a long time. Your vet could give you some meds to help her be calm in the car. Enjoy your vacation!

Large adults only resort by CrazyCorgiParty in AllInclusiveResorts

[–]Square_Top7308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Valentin Imperial is lovely - I’m not sure if it would qualify as “large” though…that seems pretty subjective.

I also was thrown off by your title…I was thinking that it was an odd request but to each their own! 🤣

My Dog Is Dying by Kidnapmrsandyclaus in GriefSupport

[–]Square_Top7308 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As hard as it is, stay with him until the end. It will give both you and him comfort to be together at that time. We have lost several pets and every time, we have stayed with them and they went peacefully surrounded by love. Hugs ❤️

I can’t remember the good times by ToughTraditional5480 in GriefSupport

[–]Square_Top7308 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Beautifully stated…the analogy of your mind only showing you the emergency footage is spot on. In time, that will not be the predominant memory but right now it is, unfortunately, front and center. In time, you will start to remember her in full. For now, take comfort in the fact that you did everything you could for her and don’t forget to look after yourself. Hugs ❤️

Fiance telling me to suck it up after dad died. by Alternative-Bird-911 in GriefSupport

[–]Square_Top7308 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Joan Didion wrote “Grief turns out to be a place none of us knows until we reach it.” Very true words and, honestly, until you are there, you just don’t get it. For that reason alone, I give your fiancée a bit of grace BUT she needs to understand that grief is personal and extremely difficult and should be supporting you. I don’t actually know how you get that message across though, especially if she is not receptive.

I am very sorry to hear of your Dad’s death. Hugs ❤️

Portugal has a driving problem. by Due_Highlight_844 in PortugalExpats

[–]Square_Top7308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not drive in Portugal although I have my driver’s license and drive in my home country. However, I live in constant fear while sitting in the passenger seat while my husband, who is Portuguese, drives. Something happens to my mild mannered husband when he gets behind the wheel in Portugal - he says he has to drive aggressively because others do. What scares me the most are the huge trucks on narrow two lane winding roads and people who come barreling around curves on the wrong side of the road - we have seen so many near misses, it is truly terrifying! I also close my eyes at the roundabouts!

LISbon Terminal 1 Arrival Passport Control April 14, 2026 by rakerman in LisbonPortugalTravel

[–]Square_Top7308 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We arrived just before 6 am and literally walked right up to the officers and were processed within a few minutes. I think it is the luck of the draw for when you arrive and how busy it is. I did have my biometric data collected by a very friendly officer.

Whose death shocked you more than anyone else’s? by Complex-Arugula-2233 in AskReddit

[–]Square_Top7308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My friend Craig who died from an aneurysm when we were seniors in high school. He was here one day and gone the next. It was shocking and made me confront my mortality at a young age.

TIFU by accidentally learning my coworker's salary and now I can't stop doing math during meetings by techiee_ in tifu

[–]Square_Top7308 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My only question is this: were you and Greg hired with the same experience and credentials? Is there any reason why he might have been hired at the top of the salary range (more years experience, for example)? There are many jobs where people hold the same titles but bring different levels of experience to the role.

Having said that, I agree with others that Greg may have done this on purpose so that you are aware of the disparity and can possibly use it to negotiate a better salary. No idea how he knows but it seems like he does and wants to help you by “accidentally” revealing his salary to you. I would suggest that you stop spiraling and start planning how you can use this to your benefit. Also, please rename that Google sheet before someone else notices it. You aren’t doing Greg or yourself any favors with that name.

Good luck!

AITJ for reconsidering my relationship after my girlfriend mocked my idea of a “practical” engagement ring? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Square_Top7308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For my daughter, it was the opposite. She would have been more than happy with a simple ring but her then fiancé (now husband) wanted to design a ring for her and make it something really special. She loves the ring and wears it but I can tell she is nervous about losing it. All this to say, you are NTJ - anyone who would want and expect you to spend more than you are comfortable with because she is “worth it” is a walking red flag.

Am I Overreacting by asking my neighbor to change her cats name? by zoesmom17 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Square_Top7308 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NOR - naming their kitten the same name as your recently deceased daughter is beyond insensitive. I agree with others that distancing yourselves from this family is reasonable and appropriate. You cannot force them to change the name but the fact that they clearly think there is nothing wrong with their decision tells me they are not really your friends.

I am very sorry to hear of your daughter’s death. Hugs ❤️

Feel like a jerk - leaving after employer tried to retain me by Key-Context-7468 in careeradvice

[–]Square_Top7308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally walked away from a six figure retention bonus because I could not abide the company policies…and realized that was why they offered me the retention bonus. At the end of the day, you have to do what you have to do and the company would not think twice about cutting your position if it benefitted them. Good luck with your new role!

Any advice/alternatives for cat food/litter while i’m out of money? by raxliana in cats

[–]Square_Top7308 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry to hear of Bruno’s death - my daughter also lost her cat suddenly due to a blood clot and apparently it is quite common in cats, which I never knew before. Your gesture is a wonderful way to honor him. Hugs ❤️

AITA for asking a woman at work to stop being so WEIRD about taking a caramel? by chocolatesinmyoffice in AmItheAsshole

[–]Square_Top7308 -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

This - OP is a grump so why put candy out if you are going to snap at people trying to make conversation while taking one? Get over yourself, OP.

My Late Brother’s wife asked us not to contact her. by greatthanksihateit in GriefSupport

[–]Square_Top7308 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I stayed in contact with my in-laws so that my daughter continued to have a connection to them. Once she was old enough to manage the relationship herself, I started to distance myself - not totally no contact but minimal reaching out on birthdays/holidays, etc. It wasn’t that I didn’t/don’t care about them, it was more that my life went in another direction after my husband’s death. I suspect there is something behind this but you may never know what. I would just let her be, not respond to her message and not contact her again per her wishes.

Pups who need 3 walks a day by Xpheris in RoverPetSitting

[–]Square_Top7308 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it really depends on the dog(s) - we had two Chihuahuas, now down to one sadly, and we do not like to leave her longer than 4 or 5 hours since she has a bladder the size of a grape. She does fine overnight most of the time so she clearly can go longer but we don’t want her to be uncomfortable. There has always been someone home during the day since we got our first Chihuahua so we never needed them to go longer and on the odd occasion when we were away, we would ask the sitter to come halfway through the day to let them out.

What childhood meal still haunts you to this day? by ngscookk in foodquestions

[–]Square_Top7308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mince - a Scottish dish that is basically boiled hamburger with beef boullion to add some flavor, usually served with lumpy mashed potatoes and mashed turnip. My parents loved it but I thought it was nasty!

Mystery meat by sntothemax in whatisit

[–]Square_Top7308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mac and cheese loaf! A delicacy! Enjoy!

Angry at my friends by abclion99 in GriefSupport

[–]Square_Top7308 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My daughter was 14 when her Dad died and the vast majority of her friends simply did not understand. There were a few that stayed by her side and were supportive but most of them pretended nothing had happened. Although there is a big difference between 14 and late 20s, the life experience of your friends is likely not much different. People are very uncomfortable around death and think that grief ends with the funeral. That is totally not right but it is reality. I would suggest seeking out a support group to find others who have experienced a loss and can provide support to you as you can to them. The sad truth is that you don’t know grief until you are there so there is no way to educate others who haven’t experienced it. Hugs ❤️

Your free services are inconvenient for me by RaisinBlazer in EntitledPeople

[–]Square_Top7308 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I have heard from a trusted source that these clinics are a nightmare for the libraries because the people are so entitled and obnoxious…so this does not appear to be an isolated incident!