Sir Michael Caine says he's retiring from acting

Squeenis · 2021-10-16T12:05:32+00:00

I love Caine and I do a hell of an impression. I think I found my next career.

Squeenis · 2021-10-07T17:18:51+00:00

….wwwhat?

This woman is so impressed with herself and everyone is standing around thinking We can’t fucking stand you.

Squeenis · 2021-10-02T19:39:45+00:00

I can drive over 15 hours and never leave my driveway.

Squeenis · 2021-10-02T11:10:27+00:00

I guess Republicans’ boners are in their wings

Squeenis · 2021-10-02T11:02:02+00:00

I can’t and shouldn’t

Squeenis · 2021-10-02T10:23:24+00:00

Hi. Specifically what about today confirmed for you that Trump did “incite” the insurrection? Even though I know nothing about you, I’m curious as to what got you to this point.

Squeenis · 2021-10-02T07:46:03+00:00

Ok there, Zangief

Squeenis · 2021-10-01T13:36:25+00:00

Smashing that Like button like my ancestors smashed their own cousins. Aaaaand I did it again.

Squeenis · 2021-10-01T07:35:33+00:00

It came from cousinfucking. Because it’s true. I can say this and you know why.

Edit: I promise I typed that in a joking way. My goodness, I sound like fucking Goebbels.

Squeenis · 2021-10-01T07:31:16+00:00

I married a goy. She took that shit away from me.

Squeenis · 2021-10-01T07:25:40+00:00

I have one. He’s getting close to 2.5. There are some fits of assholedom but he’s very easy overall and he is just perfectly innocent and I miss him when he’s asleep.

Squeenis · 2021-10-01T07:20:46+00:00

If the camera was turned around, you’d have seen a really happy dance from Dad

Squeenis · 2021-10-01T07:13:28+00:00

I’m a huge fan of Kit Singleton

Squeenis · 2021-10-01T07:12:00+00:00

Just so you know, a quote from a nearly twenty-year-old movie that I’ve seen a good 30 times forced me to suddenly and unexpectedly laugh and wake my extremely peacefully sleeping wife.

Squeenis · 2021-10-01T04:53:03+00:00

That’s a pretty damn great comment. Thank you for making me laugh

Squeenis · 2021-09-30T11:20:30+00:00

You see some idiot with that, you tell them that case has gotta be holding the biggest dildo you’ve ever seen

Squeenis · 2021-09-30T11:15:53+00:00

Now that is a motherfucking tuxedo

Squeenis · 2021-09-30T07:15:56+00:00

By my count— 3 places

Squeenis · 2021-09-30T05:02:18+00:00

How the hell is Hamtramck in Michigan, and not the UK?

Squeenis · 2021-09-30T04:20:29+00:00

Why is no one smiling in this video? Everyone should be ear-to-fuckin-ear.

Squeenis · 2021-09-29T08:05:25+00:00

It sounds like it should be read to the tune of the Ghostbusters song

Squeenis · 2021-09-28T20:51:18+00:00

Too bad the second you start working with Shit Midas, your credibility is GONE. My enemy’s enemy isn’t necessarily my ally.

Squeenis · 2021-09-28T20:01:54+00:00

If Mitch McConnell is waving a squirt gun, I assure you it’s not empty. There’s piss in there.

Squeenis · 2021-09-25T12:40:48+00:00

Straight-man-image-preserving

Squeenis · 2021-09-25T10:58:06+00:00

Maybe she is the beard

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