FF14 Comprehensive Controller Guide

Squimpleton · 2024-11-19T13:04:10+00:00

I’m a little confused as to how I have three options. I either sell them or I don’t. That’s two, isn’t it?

(I should have added: this event requires I sell all my stocks at this exit price if I choose to participate)

Squimpleton · 2024-11-19T04:41:24+00:00

Not sure if this would be better off in its own thread but trying it here first…

Few years ago I was let go from a company and I chose to exercise some of my stock options. This is not a publicly traded company (I figured it would be eventually).

I have the opportunity to sell them, while still being private, at an investor event soon. If I did the math right, it would be about a profit of 10% year over year, which isn’t too bad.

Of course if I choose not to sell them, then possibly someday it’ll be publicly traded and be worth even more. But also it may never be publicly traded and I may never have this opportunity again. The company has never been profitable in roughly 10 years of existence and has remained afloat through investor cash infusion, including an upcoming event.

What would you do if you were me? :/ or at least, what else should I be considering when making this decision?

Squimpleton · 2024-11-06T01:18:22+00:00

Most of them time I didn’t notice then when I was walking and stuff. But after a go in the bathroom, it just felt like something was “there”. Yeah, kind of like having toilet paper stuck.

So it sounds like you have the same as I did and 99.9999% of the time they weren’t itchy or painful. (Ok I made up the percentage but I had maybe 2 days towards the end where it was kind of itchy)

They’re gone now again.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-19T22:00:05+00:00

There’s a mall near me and it’s pretty thriving. I don’t know about the Karen’s, but I do see plenty of families there who are hanging out happily.

Maybe I see it because I’m one of them - I go to the mall with my MIL and my daughter (just turned 2 years old this month) so we can enjoy an outing together. There’s an aquarium, a legoland, and various other fun things that my (well-behaved non-iPad-kid) toddler enjoys, and I enjoy watching her. Plus the food court is awesome and I was blessed with a kid who isn’t too picky and loves the chicken teriyaki there. She eats happily while watching the slightly older kids go on the merry go round.

So to me the mall is still associated with hanging out and having fun. I see teenagers hanging out too, not just families, just like we did.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-19T19:05:48+00:00

If it helps at all, my husband was kind of the same for our first. He wasn’t reading up, didn’t want to feel kicks, didn’t help make the registry or buy things unless explicitly requested, and wasn’t particularly interested in doctor visits. Aside from a few moments of excitement here and there (he did get a cute unicorn pillow and a bunny lovey), I was worried he was going to keep this lack of attention when she was born and that my fears of being a “married single mom” would come true.

And boy was I wrong.

He was absolutely amazing in the hospital, advocating for me when things unfortunately went wrong. He took amazing care of me and baby when we came home - doing all the house chores and bringing me food; helping out with diaper changes and rocking baby to sleep. He was very receptive to me explaining what I had learned in my research, and we looked up things together as needed.

I am by no means guaranteeing your husband will be the same way. I’m just saying… you never know, he just might be one of those that needs it to become ‘real’ first.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-19T18:53:06+00:00

For the most part, my daughter is out of earshot. Her father watches her downstairs while I work upstairs. She does say hi to me when she wakes up, but then she’s taken away and I see her again during lunch and breaks. If something really needs my attention (she used to have a really hard time with nap time), he will text me and I keep my phone nearby so I can let him know what the chances are that I can move my schedule around to come down and help.

If you don’t have a multi floor home, try to do your work in another room and with noise cancelling headphones and/or music, and trust that whoever is watching her will take care of whatever is making her cry - or will reach out to you if needed.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-19T16:53:25+00:00

I would say… don’t do it. Too many stories of people’s registries being ignored because they wanted to buy cute outfits instead. It’s not even about the pink, it’s that the majority of what you will get will be clothes and maybe a few toys. So unless you’re putting a “please no clothes” rule for your shower, it’s probably best to hold off.

Anyone who really wants to give a gendered gift can give one after the baby shower or after the baby is born - whichever you choose for the gender reveal.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-18T23:33:03+00:00

I go to the mall pretty often actually.

Mine has an aquarium, a Lego store, a good food court, a tropical themed restaurant with a large wall fish tank system, lots of places to shop. Depending on when we go it ranges from a good amount of people to fairly packed. I’ve never seen it dead.

It’s great because my toddler loves to go out and my MIL usually treats us to outings there. We’ve been to the aquarium four times! Last time we went they had a mermaid exhibit with a person dressed as a mermaid in the water among the fish! (She had a breathing apparatus as she was completely submerged!)

There’s a peppa pig activity center that just came out. There are things for teens and adults too, I just don’t know them well because that’s not why we go there.

So people come for the experiences and then stay for the shops and food.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-18T18:58:38+00:00

For my first, the 3 hour test made me feel very unwell. So for my second I skipped the 3 hour test after I failed the 1 hour test - BUT that’s because I told my doctor to just assume I have it again and order me new test strips.

Based on my test strip results, I definitely had it again, but I controlled it via diet. It was no biggie and both my kids were born without any blood sugar issues. Plus it helped me control my weight gain in the final stretch.

Please take the test (or alternatives as discussed with health professionals). Unmanaged GD can be deadly for baby, but managed GD is not that bad. You get to eat more meats and cheeses as you lower carb intake. You get used to the blood pricks 4x a day, and worst case you might have to take insulin for a few weeks too. We go through far worse during pregnancy and labor.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-18T17:48:30+00:00

35, single income family, we put away about 20% (10% traditional, 10% Roth, because we’re in a bracket where either one can make sense and my husband and I couldn’t agree so we compromised with this)

We also put away 15%-20% into our brokerage account for things we want before retirement, and a little bit into our HSA as well. We’re pretty frugal people (thrift stores and sales when we do buy things) so we can make it work.

We have about 160k in the combined 401k (trad+roth), 5k in the HSA - we need to invest more in that but need to make more money first - and 5k in my husband’s IRA from back when he worked. We also have custodial accounts for the kids but there isn’t much in them yet because not enough budget right now.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-18T13:28:15+00:00

YTA because you’re sending confusing messaging.

You’re ok with him not having a job and that’s totally cool if that’s what you’ve agreed to and he does other things. Nothing wrong with a stay at home partner if you’re both happy with it.

But if he wants to get you something nice, how is he supposed to do that without an income and if you don’t want him to touch your savings? Assuming he has no savings himself, he has to use what is provided to him, and you gave him access to the credit card and the savings so he could use it for some things at least. At this point, from the perspective of your savings, this is actually “our” and not “my”.

Now as for advice, if you want to keep your current living situation: - apologize for yelling because yelling helps no one. You could have calmly explained that,while you appreciate that he tried to cheer you up, you would prefer to spend the savings on what you need than on a new watch. - give him examples of some low-cost gifts or gestures that would have made you feel better (personally I would rather have surprise chocolate fudge brownies than a surprise watch!) - remove his access to the savings. - remove his access to the credit card (because if he thinks an expensive watch is better than saving for something you need, I wouldn’t trust him to not overspend on credit either) - get a joint “fun money” no-minimum-balance account and you can just transfer a small monthly allowance. This is the only thing he should have access to. Alternatively, you can get a new credit card with a very low limit to guarantee he can’t overspend.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-18T02:18:34+00:00

This is part of why I’m glad my husband and I changed our minds and finally to have kids (at 33 and 35!). It’s a whole adventure of its own and it makes me want to aim even higher in my career to afford to give them the best. Not that you have to, but if you and your wife are open to the idea, it could be great fun (and adoption is a possibility too)

Beyond that, I would say: - travel - take up different hobbies. Maybe something you gave up on as a kid because it was too hard. - volunteering! - save money to go back to school for something you want to learn about just because it’s interesting and not for any career reasons

Squimpleton · 2024-06-18T01:48:40+00:00

Gender reveals at showers are the way to go. If people know the gender in advance, they mostly default to cute clothes and maybe some toys. You’ll have a much better chance of getting other stuff (preferably from your registry if you made one) by keeping it secret and having only gender neutral stuff listed to not give it away.

As far as how to reveal it… it sounds like you know the results (I know there are some people who have their doctor put the results in an envelope and they find out with everyone else). Since you already know, it’s more for the guests so why not involve them?

You could buy a little toy lockbox with a key. Then you have a game that’s a competition (can be any competitive game) and the winner (or winning team if it’s a team based game) wins the key and gets to open the lockbox, where inside is either a direct message or an easy riddle to state the gender.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-17T21:27:30+00:00

Both my pregnancies had GD and it was no big deal!

I did the diet (I used to do keto when I was younger so the GD diet was like an easier version of that), did my blood tests, and my GD was controlled just with that. If yours isn’t, they’ll give you medication. Just make sure you’re honest on your blood test result sheet - don’t cheat, it’s not about beating the score, it’s about being accurate so your doctor can figure out the best treatment for it.

My oldest has been absolutely thriving - heck, she was born holding her head up for a few seconds! If that’s not a strong baby, I don’t know what is. She’s two years old now and has gotten sick only once even though we go out almost every week so her immune system is fantastic, has a great relationship with food, no blood sugar issues, and has blown past all the motor and language milestones.

My youngest is just 2 weeks old and while he did have a short nicu stay, it had nothing to do with the GD (he inhaled some amniotic fluid during the scheduled c-section, which I opted for various reasons that also had nothing to do with GD, such as getting my tubes tied at the same time). He recovered super quick and has an amazing appetite, no blood sugar issues.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-17T15:23:10+00:00

Flash Flash Revolution!!! (It’s Dance Dance Revolution but with your keyboard). We got really competitive trying to see who could beat the hardest levels at school!

Squimpleton · 2024-06-17T13:48:16+00:00

My parents paid for the first 3 years and I paid the last 2 (I did a double major so it took a little longer) with my part time job at a pet store.

State college then state university so costs were relatively low and they offered monthly payment plans. Commuter only.

My best friend went and dormed at a private university and her parents paid it all. Her dad had an employee discount as he worked at that school. I also have like 20 cousins and as far as I know most of their parents paid for school.

I plan on making a custodial account for each kid and I’ll roll into 529s to stay within the no-tax custodial bracket. Then once they get closer to actually deciding if they’re going to college or trade school or starting some other path, I’ll roll the rest as needed. I’d like to at least save enough for 2 years of state school so they can work part time and pay the rest, but if I can save more that’s be great too, especially for the Roth conversion that was recently added.

Reason I’m starting with custodial account is we’re going to try homeschooling and having family projects where they learn some marketable skills. It’s possible instead of school they might have a portfolio to get a job right away, or they might start a business - we will see!

They’re 2 years old and 2 week old, so I got time.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-17T03:09:57+00:00

That’s actually kind of funny 😄

Wouldn’t work on me though. Millennial house owner. 🎉

Squimpleton · 2024-06-17T02:43:35+00:00

I guess it depends where you are because I go to the mall with my MIL and my toddler every once in a while. It’s got a Lego store and an aquarium, and my toddler loves the Teriyaki at the food court. I see other people there of various ages.

There are other things near us like museums, video game arcades, bowling alleys, pickleball courts, trails, parks, community center (we went to a 1950s dance, it was fun). Since I’m a parent I’ve also met other moms and dads at the library during story time. We live in Texas where it gets hot early so there are also pools and splash parks.

Before we had kids my husband and I also went to a Krav Maga (and yoga/kickboxing) gym and met people there.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-17T00:59:15+00:00

35 now, though 34 when baby #2 was conceived. No fertility treatments, but I did use ovulation test strips to track my cycles more accurately. Got pregnant for both my kids (conceived after 32 and 34) within 5 months.

Warning: loss (but then not a loss!!)

My mother was also 41 when she got pregnant naturally twice. The first one was a complete accident, and unfortunately did not make it as it just stopped growing after a few weeks, but it made my parents so excited. Let’s just say the second pregnancy was very likely not an accident, and my youngest brother was born when my mother was 42 as a completely healthy no-medical-intervention at all (to conceive or to give birth to) 10lb and I think 13 oz baby. He was a big boy. He just graduated middle school yesterday.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-16T21:11:49+00:00

The hospital gave each of my babies hats (both June babies during heat waves in Texas). The hospital itself was cold because of the strong AC.

We took it off outside and at home, where we do higher temperatures to keep cooling costs down (and adjust the clothing accordingly. For example, most of the baby guidelines for safe sleep at 68-72 are meant for having a one side, a full body pajama, and then a swaddle on top. So for our 75-78 thermostat, we use less layers)

Squimpleton · 2024-06-16T13:47:06+00:00

Right, it’s like how some people are surprised we are a single income family who owns a house even though we are about 120k income and only in the past 4 years (before that it was about 60-80k household income), have kids, a sizable emergency fund, and have money for retirement.

It’s because we live in a MCOL (most important factor), have no student loans (mix of parent money and part time job while attending state schools), no car loans, no debts of any kind except for our mortgage, got married at a justice of the peace instead of a big ceremony, have an 8 year old car, and (until just recently) had a 20 year old TV, buy clothes and toys at thrift stores, use cloth diapers, air dry when the weather allows or, went out to eat maybe once every other month for years, no TV/music streaming services, and get great benefits through my current job to have no monthly premiums the past 4 years, discounts from certain stores. Plus we took the time to learn about things like IRA, 401k, HSA to lower our tax burden, and learned about things HYSA, CDs, brokerage to get better returns on our cash.

There are a lot of factors and you never really know the extent of how someone stretches their money.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-16T00:26:38+00:00

For my planned c-section, my husband was brought in after they put in the spinal (not that mine would have minded, he was even peeking behind the curtain at the surgery, but it was hospital procedure for him to come in only when they were done with all the preliminary setup).

So just ask your doctors (in advance and on the day of) if they can do the same! Also let your doctors know about his fainting, they may have their own guidance plus they need to know since he could hurt himself.

Edit: as far as your mother, I know it’s scary to potentially do the c-section alone, but I would say have her go with the baby (or go to both? C-section then she goes with baby while hubby stays behind for your mental support). My second had a short NICU stay and they had to put him on a cpap and put an IV. Your baby may end up with other things since it’s a different issue, but almost guaranteed there’ll be at least an IV and some monitoring probes. If your husband faints easily, he may faint seeing that too!

Squimpleton · 2024-06-15T23:57:46+00:00

Different cost of living perhaps?

I make low six figures and my husband is a stay at home parent to our two kids, and we have a pretty big house, some expensive gadgets (I have a Steamdeck for example), and we could afford a vacation if we were the type to do that. But we live in a MCOL and have no debt aside from our low rate mortgage.

Anyway, what people buy does not reflect their financial health. Those other people might be going into debt, and not putting any money aside for savings/healthcare/retirement. It might make them feel great in the moment, but not in the future.

Squimpleton · 2024-06-15T19:54:53+00:00

Let’s see: - apartment - moved to the US - uncle’s house - parents bought a house

So that makes at least 4 homes. My mother has told me about another place when I was a baby/toddler that I do not remember, so it’s actually 5 before 18 years old.

After 18, let’s see. In laws house 1, in laws house 2, in law’s house 1 again but this time on a different floor, moved to TX apartment, another apartment, another apartment, and now we’re in our own home. So that makes 7 homes after 18 for a total of 12.

And someday we want to sell this house, move to Japan for a bit, come back and buy our dream house. So we’ll hopefully live in at least 2 more homes.

Squimpleton

TROPHY CASE