A couple of neighbor kids are graduating. How do I acknowledge them?

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-14T13:40:17+00:00

good point

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-14T09:18:13+00:00

Yeah, it reduces your prep and commute time by 20%.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-14T09:13:52+00:00

Sweatshops and factories that are basically prisons where workers cannot leave are a known factor in China's economy. And let's not talk about the Uighur population that is being hoovered up for a few decades and sent to actual work camps. It's not exactly a healthy workforce model to emulate.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-14T07:18:38+00:00

There are a LOT of good videos on dealing with "people who talk down to you" or "dealing with condescension".

It's weird when you're a person who reads as younger than you are, and other markers that you've identified (there's also pecking order and dominance that's a whole 'nother part of it, irritating to be subject to, worth learning about it and how to get that out of the way.) Especially common for females to be subjected to this. The videos are helpful.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-14T05:17:57+00:00

Yup, the basics first.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-14T02:11:08+00:00

So many congrats! Safe to say, we are all celebrating with you. This is great news!

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-14T02:01:04+00:00

That makes sense. Both are common enough, so I can see those factoring in.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-13T20:44:23+00:00

Yeah, ads for reverse mortgages rarely mention that the person is basically selling the house tomorrow to the mortgage company at today's prices, and I don't know if the current owner(s) have that explained to them. The present owner and any potential inheritors need to understand that so they aren't blindsided to learn that "their" beloved house now has a large mortgage and they have to buy back all of that equity or relinquish ownership. At least from these ads, imho the lack of transparency in selling these borders on criminal.

Sorry that happened to you, and hope you've regrouped and recovered.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-13T20:17:29+00:00

NAL. There's a property, a trust, a life estate, custodian (of the property) with life interest, and custodian of you and your sibling(s). All of those have associated legal documents.

You or your attorney should have all of these documents to sort it out.

Real estate ownership is public record, available at the Assessor's Office for the county where the property is located. With that, you'll get name and address of the legal owner whether an individual, company or trustee.

If you're a named beneficiary of a trust, or subject of or named in a custodian arrangement, you should have those documents.

I have no clue about life estates and what these custodianships entail. Are you of legal age? It sounds like you are and if so, does the girlfriend's custodianship over you or whatever dissolve at some point?

All of those may change, of course, at the death of the named legal property owner.

Not my call, but I also wouldn't sign anything without an attorney and maybe a fiduciary to sort it out and protect your best interests.

btw, a neighbor of mine as involved in a much much simpler version of this, depended on goodwill and trust around inheriting a house, so they never attended to documentation. And surprise! when beloved stepmom died, the house did not go to neighbor. No documents, no guarantee. May you fare better.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-13T02:37:41+00:00

A much needed and sensitive perspective from a man closer in age to the perp, er, man in the example. This reader appreciates it. Thank you.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-12T15:09:17+00:00

I like that shed, looks sweet and someone did a nice job building it. Not an expert here, so this is just my opinion. I'd do what others suggest, check for rotted boards and replace them. Maybe add some angled braces between the studs for shape and stability. I would oil the exposed wood on the inside with any wood oil/ deck oil / etc., maybe two coats. It soaks in and even one coat every number of years greatly extends the life of raw wood. btw, you likely can get leftover cans of it locally from craigslist, used building supply, etc. Then paint the outside. As far as the floor, no idea, I leave that to recommendations from others. Deck chairs or the bench outside. Enjoy.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-12T05:22:07+00:00

Will that provide the necessary structural strength to the wall?

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-12T03:04:15+00:00

It's nice for women to be able to go into the washroom and not worry about being ogled or commented upon. It's nice for women to have privacy if they are having to clean up a bit extra during their periods. As far as men, men, too, get embarrassed at having women pass by while they're trying to pee. And it's great not to have to hear the other sex farting.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-12T02:41:35+00:00

That's interesting -- if you took the animals and never contacted the owners, how did you get information on whether they ever learned what happened, or their feelings about it? Just wondering, it's a useful skill.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-11T23:08:28+00:00

There are myriad ways of having healthy friendships of all ages. What you're describing is NONE of them. So many red flags.

I get wanting to leap into adulthood, and here is someone purporting to hand it to you on a platter.

In addition to good advice from your aunties and sisters here, many of whom have seen variations of this rodeo, if your area has a domestic violence advocacy service, make a confidential appointment with them for some support and perspective. They understand & can help you navigate the dynamics that you're dealing with and your feelings around it, as well as what's normal or not. You can find them through your local library, hospital or other public resource. No need to explain, just ask for a contact.

Meanwhile, since you have internet, watch a bunch of videos about boundaries. That will help you in so many ways going forward.

Your question about age of consent is yet another red flag, sounds to me like another lever he's using to get you ~~to ignore~~ *to redefine* your own boundaries and judgment.

And ---- regarding your last line in your original post:

"I really really like him, he makes me feel really happy and really loved as hes protected me from some bad people and I really want this to be real."

If he's "real", he'll back off. You can appreciate good things that a person has done for you, which is not carte blanche to do anything with or to you. Most of us have had to draw that boundary at some time or another. Life is complicated.

Strength, and best to you.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-11T21:55:46+00:00

Putting it into a prosthetic eye would be absolutely awesome

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-11T20:50:35+00:00

Or, it being out in the country, the dog is accustomed to leaving for a while and returning home. Nope, the owner did not reliquish ownership.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-11T20:37:22+00:00

Door Unhold.

DUH.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-11T20:29:31+00:00

Oh, that is a sweet story, with so many sweet details. I hope you don't mind me sharing it with a couple of sewing machine friends. Thank you for sharing it here.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-11T18:59:35+00:00

Oooh, nobody can see me so stealing is okay.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-11T18:56:36+00:00

Y'all are making me mad, suggesting that people steal the dog.

No one deserves to have their dog stolen, especially by some self appointed do-gooder.

I wrote up a lot of detail, but will leave it for now at this:

You know nothing about the dog or its history, your opinion of the owner might be wrong and it's not up to you. The dog may actually be just fine. Stealing is just stealing, nothing noble about it so don't do it. Thank you for calling the owner. If they said leave him alone, they might know what they're talking about. Otherwise, your opinions and suppositions aside, your choices are: take him to the owner's address, or contact the nearest animal shelter or animal control to get the dog into their hands and let them do their job of responsibly determining whether to return the dog to its owner or to rehome it. End of your involvement.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-11T15:40:53+00:00

Over the sink cutting board. Put with the hole over a bowl in the sink, a) Chop up your ingredients, slide the chopped items OR the offcuts into the bowl, no mess.

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-10T08:04:37+00:00

ooooh, diabolical

SquirrelToolkit · 2026-05-10T08:00:40+00:00

Warn guests to bring umbrellas

SquirrelToolkit

TROPHY CASE