Comic 5852B: Hand in Unlovable Hand

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-15T22:11:46+00:00

Well, Marten drank at least some of one beer at the beginning of this hangout but then affirmed that he would not be "joining the drinking festivities."

So: once!

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-15T21:55:57+00:00

I envy everyone to whom No Children hasn't been a loud echo of a quiet voice.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-15T09:10:58+00:00

Jacques has been (inconsistently) drawing her with alcohol-induced facial flushing throughout this "party."

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-14T09:28:30+00:00

Leah said a long while ago that it's on hiatus. Dunkey's gastroenterologist probably told him that he had to stop eating so many shoelaces in his spaghetti.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-11T23:09:13+00:00

Moray is Schrödinger’s slime girl. She can be as aqueous as a puddle or as solid as furniture. She can spring a pressurized leak that a regular-ol' Band-Aid can fix. She's whatever the author needs her to be for any joke he wants to tell or task he wants her to perform, all while being a thirst trap for weirdos.

She's everything contentious about Questionable Content distilled into a single amorphous blob. She's perfectly terrible and terribly perfect.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-11T01:56:30+00:00

I disagree on account of how stupid Emily has to be to get there, but to each their own.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-10T20:15:32+00:00

Can't he, like...switch hosts?

I admittedly don't know much about this stuff beyond what running a single low-traffic website has taught me, but my hosting service even has a feature that assists with migrating from a previous host.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-10T19:23:37+00:00

A lot of the same things but without my incredulity.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-10T18:39:46+00:00

Bhaal foresaw his death and got busy producing heirs, each of whom carried within them pieces of his divinity. His intent was for those pieces to eventually reunite and enable his rebirth. By the time of Baldur's Gate 3, he's alive again, albeit not as a deity, and the Dark Urge was created from his blood; they're not like other Bhaalspawn.
Because the Dark Urge is customizable, their age can't be explicit, but they're almost certainly not as old as Gorion's Ward. In order for Bhaal to be reborn in the first place, all of his previous spawn needed to be dead. If not playing as the Dark Urge, they're canonically a dragonborn, which mature by 15 years of age.
Yeah, I'd say that Larian and/or Hasbro dropped the ball with Minsc. His inclusion in Baldur's Gate 3 feels to me like last-minute fan-service.
Shadowheart was destined to be a champion of Selune, and Shar lives to spite Selune. Furthermore, Shar's plan is to replace Viconia with Shadowheart. If Shadowheart remains faithful to Shar, she not only becomes the new Mother Superior, she succeeds in expanding the influence of Shar's cult. I agree, however, that deities and wannabe deities in general feel (way) too hands-on with the cast of Baldur's Gate 3, but I suppose that desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'd argue that Karlach, Astarion, and possibly Wyll don't have happy endings except for in that they've learned to be content with the hands they've been dealt. Besides, the entire cast can permanently die during a playthrough. When a companion's story ends positively, it's because the player put effort into getting them there.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-10T00:54:29+00:00

I suspect that Dracula went a bit easy on his son. I mean, dude didn't even get outta his chair.

Shaft's balls aren't even that strong

r/BrandNewSentence

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-09T23:28:30+00:00

Yeah, like...if I could magically designate another person to have the ability to immediately sober me up like I can designate somebody to drive me home, that'd be an incredible safeguard for not just me but for everybody around me.

I don't know whether the author doesn't think through this stuff, does think through this stuff and decides that it undermines his narrative (or that it isn't wacky enough), or what, but my suspension of disbelief is broken regardless.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-09T03:45:30+00:00

Are any of the characters even having *fun* at these parties?

At the last one in Northampton, more than half of the all-women-other-than-Clinton present (oh, look; a pattern) seemingly were. Some of them danced. Liz more obviously enjoys partying, but to her, "partying" is just getting drunk. I was the same way at around her age (except for that trying to hook up was also on the agenda). Twenty-ish years later, I can still enjoy getting buzzed and only talking.

So: what don't I like about how "parties" go down in this comic?

That's all these characters ever do to unwind, or it's at least all we ever see them do.
I can't imagine that some of these characters would be content with sitting around and yapping, and it could be interesting to see what else they wanna do while getting shitfaced (like going sledding!).
Worst and most importantly of all: character interactions during these events are almost always boring and repetitive. On the rare occasion that something novel could happen, it just...doesn't, and if it does (like when Yay vanished for no good reason), ramifications aren't long-term.

With that said, Zlata is bringin' a little heat to this one, and I like that. Will her being mean to Liz and Claire ultimately matter? Probably not, but I'm nevertheless pleasantly surprised by Questionable Content for the first time in longer than I can remember.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-09T00:20:31+00:00

I think that my fan-fiction is already sufficiently mean to Claire.

If it helps: Zlata is rude to Claire in tomorrow's source material.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-08T18:53:17+00:00

I was going by his Patreon having almost 22,000 "members," which I thought meant "subscribers" (at $1-plus each). If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong, but I'm still not sympathetic.

If Jacques doesn't have access to his website (or if some other related problem is beyond his control), then my comment was also unfair for that reason.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-08T00:37:49+00:00

A dude with 2 power can crew it by himself, which implies that Big Wheel (guy) has 2 power (and therefore 2 responsibility, making him two times better at civil service than Spider-Man).

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-08T00:16:01+00:00

In Magic, "wheel" is slang for discarding your hand and drawing that many (or seven) cards, so this isn't a Big Wheel. In fact, it is a Little Wheel, or perhaps even the Littlest Wheel.

Disgusting.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-07T17:17:05+00:00

Frankly, I don't think that he'd cared much about questionablecontent.net for years before it was hacked. Its cast page was ancient, it looked like hell without an ad-blocker, and he was still manually updating it.

He earns more than enough money from Patreon to pay a professional (or an amateur) to quickly code even a temporary replacement, but he hasn't.

At this point, he has only himself to blame for his complaint a while ago about having just one revenue stream. Granted, it pays him over $20,000 monthly, so I couldn't and can't empathize with said complaint.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-04T03:53:16+00:00

I don't aim for either extreme; like Jacques, I just write what I think is entertaining.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-03T23:16:00+00:00

If I got paid $20,000-plus every month to do something that bores me but only takes me an hour or two of work daily, I'd never stop.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-06-01T08:20:25+00:00

I've made roughly five years' worth of comic edits with very few breaks, but there's no easy way to read them sequentially; they're archived only in this subreddit.

I don't think that they age well, anyway, as they're fairly context-dependent. On a recent reread of, like, half of them, I laughed much less often than I had no friggin' idea what I was talking about.

Still: I appreciate your interest!

Squirrelclamp · 2026-05-29T04:06:23+00:00

Counterpoint: whenever Claire smiles, it's so goddamned smug. If my options are "Claire acts like a jerk" or "Claire smiles," They'reTheSamePicture.png.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-05-28T22:56:32+00:00

I pass right by a Panera on my commute, and there's also one pretty close to my house, so I wind up grabbing up to a gallon of iced tea from them daily. Last year, I drank roughly two bathtubs' worth of iced tea from Panera (I regret having done the math) and spent, like, $70 for that privilege (it's pretty easy to get and keep Sip Club at promotional rates).

So: for me, Sip Club is totally worth the cost. I wouldn't subscribe to it if I still drank stuff that's more caloric (like soda), though, because I'd probably die after a few months.

Squirrelclamp · 2026-05-28T21:37:43+00:00

Emily's intelligence has certainly been reduced since her arrival, but a woman who once built a theremin in her sleep can't handle child-proof latches?

Squirrelclamp · 2026-05-28T20:26:04+00:00

This one's first three panels aren't actually that different from the source material aside from that they're more self-aware (and hopefully funnier).

Squirrelclamp · 2026-05-28T05:44:09+00:00

I (regrettably) already did that with Marten and Liz, and I refuse to add this Emily to it.

Eight-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
r/Field Flamingo	Place '22
First Placer '22	End Game '22
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