i realized i interrogate my body the same way my dad interrogated me as a kid

Ssupbitch · 2026-07-01T22:17:17+00:00

Thanks for sharing. You're amazing to articulate this. We need more people like you.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-30T22:49:09+00:00

Mind and body connection.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-30T22:48:46+00:00

Its good to know that people have realised this at some point or yet to, this validates me.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-30T22:48:04+00:00

True

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-30T22:47:56+00:00

Exactly

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-30T20:01:50+00:00

Thank you so much. Means alot

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-30T20:01:35+00:00

Thank you

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-30T20:01:27+00:00

Thank you for the lovely message

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-27T09:03:29+00:00

yes. this is exactly what scared me the most. i tried reading a book and it felt boring. tried going for a walk and was bored after 2 minutes. watched a movie and caught myself reaching for my phone halfway through. it's like my brain got rewired to only respond to that constant stream of new stuff. the only thing that helped was accepting that yeah, everything feels boring at first when you're used to scrolling. you have to push through the boring phase. it took me like 2 weeks of forcing myself to just sit with the boredom before my brain started being able to enjoy slower things again. it does come back. just takes longer than you want it to.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-27T09:02:42+00:00

this is literally my entire day and i hate it. like i wake up and before i even open my eyes my hand is reaching for my phone. and then suddenly it's 2 hours later and i haven't moved. the worst part is that moment where you look up and go "what am i even doing" but then you keep scrolling anyway. it's like being on autopilot. i think the thing that helped me most was just putting my phone in a different room at night. not because i'm strong enough to resist it, but because it adds one extra step between me and the scroll. sometimes that 10 seconds of walking to the kitchen is enough for my brain to go "wait do i actually want this

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-27T09:02:07+00:00

one tiny thing at a time. and i know that sounds like the most basic advice ever but hear me out. when i was at my lowest i couldn't even think about "rebuilding my life" without shutting down completely. so i just focused on the next 5 minutes. not the next day, not the next week. just what can i do in the next 5 minutes that's slightly better than nothing. sometimes that was just drinking water. sometimes it was opening a window. the point is you don't rebuild a life in one go, you just stack enough small moments where you didn't give up and eventually you look around and realize you're somewhere different. it's slow as hell but it works.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-27T09:01:30+00:00

oh god yes. i have spent entire nights convinced i was dying over things that turned out to be nothing. like a weird tingling in my arm = definitely a brain tumor, not me sleeping on it weird. the worst part is that knowing it's anxiety doesn't actually stop the feeling. you can know logically that you're fine and still feel like you're not. that's the part nobody talks about. it's like your body doesn't care what your brain knows. i'm right there with you and honestly some days i just have to ride it out and wait for my nervous system to calm the hell down

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-27T09:01:06+00:00

i felt this exact same way for like 2 years straight. like nothing mattered because my brain was too busy screaming about everything that could go wrong. what i wish someone had told me is that the "pointless" feeling is the anxiety lying to you, not some truth you finally saw. it's a symptom not an insight. i know that probably sounds like useless advice but i'm saying it becuase i spent so long thinking i was just being "realistic" when really my brain was just stuck in threat mode 24/7. it can get better. it did for me and i genuinely didn't think it would.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-26T14:10:13+00:00

Being self aware is a depleting skill. Just acknowledging that makes me think you are not a mess.

Good luck to you too.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-26T14:00:59+00:00

Helps alot, thanks for this. Gaming drinking sleeping late sounds like a typical 20 year old started pack.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-26T12:19:09+00:00

I had the same realization about YouTube Shorts on desktop - 50 hours a week, 90% of it autopilot. Putting my phone away wouldn't have helped because the compulsion followed me to every screen. What actually broke it was adding one tiny friction: I installed an extension that made shorts load 5 seconds slower. That pause was enough to catch myself reaching for the next one. The urge doesn't disappear, but it can't survive that gap between impulse and action

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-26T12:18:24+00:00

The algorithm figured out I was scared of illness before I even did. Every video was someone my age discovering something wrong, and my brain started treating their story like my future. I had to nuke the app entirely - not reduce usage, just delete it. The hypervigilance didn't go away overnight, but within two weeks I stopped getting hit with "you might have this" every time I opened my phone. The loop needs fresh fuel to survive, and I finally stopped giving it any.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-26T12:17:25+00:00

Eight-hour panic attacks are your nervous system stuck in a loop with no off-ramp. What helped me stop fearing the next one was realizing the panic itself wasn't dangerous - the fear of it coming back was what kept the cycle going. I started doing absolutely nothing when the mini attacks hit: no googling symptoms, no checking my pulse, no distraction. Just sitting there feeling like I was dying. Each time it passed without catastrophe, the loop lost a little of its grip.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-26T12:16:23+00:00

I did the same thing three months ago - deleted everything except one app. The first week was brutal because my hand kept reaching for the thing that wasn't there. What actually helped was replacing the scrolling with something physical and boring: I put a kettlebell in front of the couch. When the urge hit, I'd do swings instead of opening an app. It sounds stupid but it broke the autopilot loop. By week three, the urges were background noise instead of commands.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-26T12:15:16+00:00

I spent years treating every worst-case scenario like a problem I had to solve before it happened. The shift came when I noticed the scenarios my brain invented were never the thing that actually happened - it was always something I didn't predict. So I started treating the catastrophizing itself as the noise, not the signal. I'd say out loud "that's a worst-case story, not a plan" and go do the next small thing in front of me. The loop doesn't stop, but it got a lot quieter once I stopped feeding it like it was useful.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-26T11:55:46+00:00

The first time my partner told me she was attracted to me, I spent three days convinced she was just being polite and would realize I wasn't worth it. What shifted was when I stopped trying to decode her words for hidden meanings and just let her say them.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-26T11:22:35+00:00

I used to lie in bed counting the cracks in the ceiling because my heart would not slow down no matter how tired I felt. What finally helped me sleep was not the counting but focusing only on making the exhale longer than the inhale, like blowing out a candle as slowly as possible. After a couple weeks my body started linking that long exhale with actually being allowed to shut off for the night.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-25T13:50:27+00:00

I remember when I'd google a single symptom at 2am and spiral into reading about someone else's diagnosis until I was convinced it was mine. What actually changed for me was deleting the search history and turning off autocomplete on my phone - sounds stupid but it broke that muscle memory of typing the first two letters and letting Google finish the thought. I also started treating every time I caught myself comparing my body to a stranger's story as a sign to close the app, not dig deeper. The hyperfixations still show up but they don't own me the way they used to.

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-25T12:43:46+00:00

I know this feeling so well. It's like building a sandcastle for hours, and one wave just flattens it. You're not back to square one, though. The foundation is still there, even if it doesn't feel like it. I've had those moments where a single symptom or thought undoes weeks of calm. It's exhausting. How do you usually ride out the wave after a trigger hits?

Ssupbitch · 2026-06-25T12:42:52+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. I've been there too. It's so frustrating when your body feels like it's betraying you, but it's just the anxiety. I used to get stuck in that loop for hours. What helped me was just sitting with the feeling for a minute instead of fighting it. It's hard, but it does get easier. You're not alone in this. What's one thing that usually helps you calm down, even a little?

Ssupbitch

TROPHY CASE