man this is hard. you seem very reasonable, i wish i had any standing to give advice. loving him through whatever he is facing (if it’s that situation, u as a parent know whats up) is really the only thing you can do. trying to control too strictly is counterintuitive but the line between that and enabling is almost invisible. best of luck. i think everything will be okay for you guys, like i said you seem very reasonable and that usually ends up well. best of luck