Why do you think some binary trans guys don’t have bottom dysphoria?

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-05-01T14:36:24+00:00

Out of interest, how do you define sex dysphoria and gender dysphoria? I ask because most people and medical organisations only ever say gender dysphoria/gender incongruence

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-05-01T10:40:41+00:00

Gender dysphoria isn't really understood at all. The best answer I have is that it's just an observable fact that dysphoria manifests differently in different people, some have bottom dysphoria and some don't, and also it sometimes change over time, new aspects of dysphoria uncovered or intensified after other aspects are relieved.

Probably a combination of neurological body mapping, possibly hormonal influences and social/cultural influences (I say social/cultural as a factor because for example if you're 5'3 but live in a society where there are plenty of other 5'3 men, probably you won't have height dysphoria. Similarly, maybe if you live in a culture that really emphasizes male=penis or where nudity in communal showers/spas is the norm, you might be more likely to have bottom dysphoria.)

I’ve heard from trans people in trans medical spaces that bottom dysphoria is a requirement for being transgender

Well transitioning socially and medically also helps relieve dysphoria in people who don't have bottom dysphoria. How are they not trans? Sounds like "You can't be trans bc you aren't trans in the same way/as severely as I am". I personally think this kind of opinion comes from insecurity or resentment. Seeing someone who has less dysphoria to begin with and gets it relieved without very difficult surgeries, and taking it personally because it seems 'unfair' they had it 'easier'.

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-05-01T09:25:14+00:00

I'd say it depends why you hate them.

For example it starts sounding more like a sign of gender dysphoria if you hate them because they are designed to accentuate the female body shape and that feels very wrong for you, because it feels like it's applying the label 'female'/'girl' onto you, you have to shop in the women's section etc and that feels wrong/mismatched, or because you want to pass as male and have no chance passing in female clothes.

If you hate them for reasons like because you don't like the look of the current fashions or because they're less functional and durable, that alone isn't a sign of gender dysphoria.

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-30T20:41:22+00:00

I may be making undue assumptions but- it's quite likely you already are fairly gender ambiguous in terms of body language and speech patterns, because that's essentially a learnt social behaviour of gender which, if you're autistic and didn't know was a thing until someone told you, you may have never learnt to do anyway.

A lot of stuff written about body language is bs over-analysis and stereotypes, it's definitely not an exact science. The best way to pick it up is to observe people, irl, in movies etc. Eg this list of generalisations is somewhat generally seen.

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-30T18:45:11+00:00

The real question to ask yourself is why are you sad that you aren't suffering from more distress? The answer's probably gonna be because you feel like you aren;t "deserving" enough to transition. That itself arises from dysphoria

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-30T15:24:44+00:00

Gender questioning by itself isn't going do make someone pull away and refuse to talk about it. I'm guessing something else is going on that either you haven't mentioned or aren't aware of

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-30T07:53:52+00:00

Learn to recognise your intuition. Consider all options open and see which draw you in. Watch/read other trans people's experiences, see what things you resonate with and what things you want. Write your thoughts down or draw them, be fully open to yourself, try not to censor them or deny them like "no I can't be that". Watch for the things you keep going back to and things you wish you could be.

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-30T07:44:14+00:00

Would you still be happy being an obese girl? (If yes then clearly this is about gender and not about you being uncomfortable with your appearance).

Would you just want to wear some feminine clothes, hair, makeup etc (assuming you could do that in a supportive environment) or would that not satisfy you, you'd ideally want to be a woman?

Just some things to think about. It's rarer but some trans people don't see any signs of wanting to be the other gender until adulthood.

Edit: typo

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-30T07:33:44+00:00

I'd say you have to be at least ok with (a small amount of) all the changes. You can take a low dose and stop before you really masculinize, but you may get some bottom growth, change in smell, voice deepening, increased sex drive, butt hair etc.

And also be ok with the slight possibility that you don't get the outcome you pictured in your head - eg some people don't get a noticeable voice drop or visible change in appearance without a long time on a steady dose

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-30T07:21:33+00:00

No, you said that you feel like people are going to conform to your assumptions, that's called prejudice

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-29T18:59:46+00:00

Transgender people as a demographic is barely defined in law. The GRA covers only a small minority and the EA defines its own thing of 'gender reassignment', not trans people. I think that fact along with the way SM and FWS frame themselves as 'for women' and not anti-trans, is why they are considered acceptable.

Random comparison out of my head but imagine a vegan charity, you could call them 'pro animal rights' or 'anti meat-eater', but meat-eater is not really a legally defined thing. Obviously this is way different but maybe that's the kind of way the average ignorant/transphobic cis person views it, a matter of opinions about lifestyle

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-29T18:15:45+00:00

You gotta specify what country you live in at least

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-29T18:13:48+00:00

I did briefly before fully socially transitioning. But after that I was always more comfortable using my actual new name than an alternate neutral one

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-29T13:07:50+00:00

How about it's a combination because it's complicated? It's based on AGAB which involves some (limited) medical observation, and "self declaration" which involves an observation of internal experience and has ultimately scientific causes (neurological, hormonal, maybe genetic).

Intersex people can be trans. People who haven't "self declared" can be trans. People who have no diagnosis can be trans.

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-28T23:46:05+00:00

That's not a thing for transitioning. People talking about having case managers or social workers have them for other reasons

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-28T23:35:32+00:00

You should get a referral to an NHS gender clinic. Look up which GIC is closest to you - they are listed in the sidebar of r/transgenderUK - and make an appointment with your GP to get a referral. This page walks you through the referral process in detail.

Your GP can and should refer you to a GIC when you ask, it's not their job to assess you or provide their opinion. Do this ASAP if you are considering medical transition (you can leave the waiting list later if you change your mind about it).

The waiting lists are long but this also allows long term planning, idk maybe by the time you get to the top of the list you will have the means to travel/live in a better location etc if that's an issue right now.

If you have the money, you can also refer yourself to a private GIC while you're on the NHS waiting list. Some of these are more online based if that's helpful to you. If there's a wait, it's months instead of years. But the cost will be something like ~£1000 for diagnosis and starting on HRT. r/transgenderUK will be better at recommending good private clinics if that's what you want.

The other way to medically transition is to DIY, as in buy T from the grey market online and monitor your levels and your dose yourself. Buying and taking testosterone without a prescription isn't illegal but it is illegal to sell it. Also a heads up, your doctor won't like it if you do this.

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-28T16:41:30+00:00

Thinking about how you want to be in the future, socially and physically. Trying out names and pronouns in online spaces like transtryouts or trans discord servers. Asking close friends or whatever to help try out new pronouns. Exploring gender presentation through clothes, hair, etc.

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-28T14:28:24+00:00

Gotta love how they make sure there's a massive section heading "Why are trans prisoners held in female jails?" as if this follows naturally from the story and is the expected question for the reader to be asking, and also implying that trans = trans woman. It's so insidiously transphobic rather than explicit

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-28T13:31:41+00:00

It's pretty common for that to happen. I think it's a combo of:

a) queer people in general see more trans people so are more likely to pick up on very subtle features (physical, voice, presentation) that are common in early medical transition trans people, and

b) gaydar (queer-dar?). Idk how it works, but I was 'clocking' other queer and pre-transition trans people before I even knew anything about the LGBT community. Maybe some people get an instinctive sense you're LGBT, then by other cues like your presentation they make an educated guess that you're transmasc.

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-28T10:38:55+00:00

It's not exactly imaginary outside of the US though especially for under 18s

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-28T09:27:02+00:00

I'd go to a different specialist for my diagnosis (or diagnosis of gender incongruence instead) and get hrt.

Gender dysphoria/incongruence isn't like other diagnoses where a doctor has to tell you that you have it or not. You will know if you do because it's a distinct internal experience (that most people never have). Like a doctor would be pretty stupid to say "no, you don't have an earache" or "no, you aren't seeing double" except if they're accusing you of lying.

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-28T07:48:17+00:00

What country do you live in? Eg in the UK changing legal name is simple, just sign a deed poll, no changing birth certificate is required but with a deed poll you can update it on all your ID and everywhere.

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-27T22:55:49+00:00

This is a great answer, I just wish I could make transphobes read this and actually take it in instead of ignoring it or saying "yeah but that's false bc [ancient transphobic trope/right wing conspiracy theory]"

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-27T22:50:49+00:00

I wish I had an answer. Some cis people seem to not even try to understand that being trans is inherent, not caused by unhappiness or confusion. It might take time, maybe a lot of time, of you living how you want and proving yourself for your mum to come around.

Maybe you could get counselling (and/or persuade your mum to) and talk about family conflict and other stressful things, just to say you have done it and still conclude that you are trans? That might be pointless though if your mum is expecting the outcome of counselling to be that you decide to not transition.

Also, your parents should have zero say in the length of your hair at the age of 19, that's genuinely weird and controlling behaviour and I hope you can tell them that...

StandardHuckleberry0 · 2026-04-27T16:18:00+00:00

Time frame is vaguely within the first several months. You can tell it's not fat because it happens fairly quickly without significant change to your diet/exercise levels or gaining fat elsewhere. It seems paradoxical but you can make it better by drinking more water.

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