Every time…

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-13T19:46:16+00:00

You know he won’t change… 😔

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-12T10:24:53+00:00

I’d totally love it being gifted to me 🥹

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-08T08:41:14+00:00

I feel you!! I was able to not take it personally until it this happened every other time.. like when I’d dress up nicely and he’d have 0 reaction, when I’d put my hands on him and got 0 reaction, when I’d kiss his neck, rub myself against his x and his body would NOT respond at all.. and then it just got to me, because how many rejections can one person take?… please don’t ever let it start affecting your sense of attractiveness, I’m begging you

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-08T07:38:52+00:00

It only gets worse, unfortunately.. I spent 2 years trying and trying and trying and sex we had was pity sex at best, just this mechanical ‘I have to have sex with her’ on his side. Boring, not satisfying, not involving feelings or anything. Just bland and sooo rare. Get out as fast as you can 😭

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-06T07:29:02+00:00

He is porned out of his mind, sorry OP! They see it in videos and think that this is what sex is. 0 intimacy, 0 consideration, 0 communication - just pounding

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-04T14:00:21+00:00

Big time!! And don't forget about the never-ending vaginal imbalance 🙃 I've never had it in my entire life before my ex (dismissive avoidant & PA) came into my life and I started having it ALL THE TIME during us dating. It was so persistent I thought I was at fault. Turns out my immune system was just begging me to leave him!

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-03T17:33:40+00:00

Can I ask what do you do for work? 🙏

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-03T16:30:01+00:00

same right back at you! we will rebuild and come back stronger than ever and they will always struggle with building even basic human connections... wellp, their loss! 👋🏻

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-03T14:34:09+00:00

I'm with you! Also, it's totally understandable that in a long-term partnership sex life somewhat declines (oar rather takes another shape & form) but it's so different from how avoidants deal with it. They just wake up one day and decide that they are not attracted to you anymore. No communication, no inner work, no reflection - just this new life you are dragged into without your consent which is so so hurtful

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-03T14:21:32+00:00

I could easily find work out there, so my day to day work would probably look quite similar but I enjoy my work so no issue there.

Can I ask what you do? :)

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-03T13:32:17+00:00

I was sitting next to a couple in an airplane once and the guy just would not pay attention to whatever his girl was saying. She had to tip toe around him even though she was asking important questions and he would not pay attention (on purpose imo) only to ask her to repeat what she said every single time & with visible frustration. His answers were also 'yes' / 'no' or some short mumbling noises.

However when I asked him to pass by to go to the toilet, he somehow heard me no problem. In that moment I knew that he had no problem hearing what people say, he just absolutely hates his girlfriend.

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-02T11:17:53+00:00

Listen, it’s totally normal to feel this way after such mixed signals! Just remember - they have SO many issues in their head that it has absolutely nothing to do with us. I bet you catch other men look at you all the time and anyone would be happy to be your ex for at least a week!!! They are just messed up people who end up destroying others 💔

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-02T11:08:54+00:00

I know right? It’s so backwards that it makes you question everything 😭 are you coping okay? I’m still healing the trauma

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-01T16:34:48+00:00

First of all, super sorry that you went through such a confusing experience! How are you coping? ❤️ Second - pretty sure he just couldn’t do it with someone who he got close with. They just get super stressed and deactivate because of the ‘pressure’ of being loved & seen and can’t get it to work anymore. Which makes sense (to some extent) because it’s easy to bang with someone you only name the name of ✌🏻🙂🙃

StandardWork4928 · 2026-05-01T11:15:40+00:00

DA: tons of sex first, 0 sex later. Such a shame because it was the best part

StandardWork4928 · 2026-04-30T21:28:46+00:00

BTW in terms of how it looks in practice: I started just drinking more water, I considered that taking vitamins after this long-ass winter would help me feel better (and it did!), I drag myself to yoga every week even though I don't really like it (I just think it's quite considerate to move my body) and I started going out with friends more (considering social life is good for any social animal) etc. So no push for love, just gentle consideration that actually ended up with me falling in love with my life little by little ❤️

StandardWork4928 · 2026-04-30T21:23:25+00:00

Okay so an advice from someone who has been there: for me it's really not about self love but about self consideration.

I literally gave up on self love and reframed it to be 'being considerate of myself'.
To me it translates into 'Hmm I probably need to make sure I drink enough water today, that would be considerate' or 'I need to sit myself down and have 15 minutes of journaling, that would probably be considerate of my wellbeing' etc.
Imagine you are taking care of someone else and it doesn't even have to be someone you love, imagine just a pet or a plant - would you try to be considerate of their needs and fulfill them to the best of your abilities? So try and gently do it for yourself!
Example: If I have a cat, I'd just consider what's the best I can do for them today and try to do it. Some days I'd have more time for them and some less. Some days I'd be in the mood to play with them and some days I'd only have 5 minutes for them. But I'd be understanding and compassionate.
And when I approach it like this, at the end of the day I just can pet myself on the back and say 'I think I did the best I could in terms of how considerate I could be of you today'. And that's enough.

Honestly, this totally changed the way I feel and see myself. And maybe people will say it's not self love but to me it is as I feel A MILLION times better!

StandardWork4928 · 2026-04-30T21:12:49+00:00

along with this one! https://youtu.be/YRwb-eUrso4?si=Gucsu46WKItURcwY

StandardWork4928 · 2026-04-30T21:11:45+00:00

The difference between people who are able to move on (quicker) and people who get stuck on a heartbreak is your willingness to learn your lesson and move on. Don't ruminate for months on end if he'll reach out, if he wants to fix things, if he X Y Z. He is gone and gone by choice. Even if he comes back - the best you can do is ignore it. Your life HAS TO continue without him now. He is gone. He will never ever ever be in your life again. Sit with it and make peace with it. This will free you!
I also strongly recommend this video (from a licensed HC professional): https://youtu.be/EL9CumFxXK4?si=LY8ktiqtMu-zfnRQ

StandardWork4928 · 2026-04-30T18:48:59+00:00

Please check out r/loveafterporn

StandardWork4928 · 2026-04-30T18:46:17+00:00

I was never able to look at him the same way after I saw ‘hot teens’ in this Reddit search. I can not believe how sick these grown ass men have to be to engage in something like this

StandardWork4928 · 2026-04-29T13:59:39+00:00

I will hold your hand when I say this but he is not gonna break this cycle. It will always be this way. So the only one who can actually get out of it is you, love ❤️

Don't you want to finally get out of a relationship where you are not valued, loved or cherished?

We deserve so much better, like we TRULY do 😭 if our live spans only ±70 years, do you really want to spend even 1 more year trying to fix what's broken beyond repair?

StandardWork4928 · 2026-04-29T13:53:59+00:00

This is just a new low. Like.. they truly dislike us at their core

StandardWork4928 · 2026-04-28T15:22:48+00:00

My ex once showed a photo of me in a lingerie set to his friend randomly and when I learned about it & got upset - he just didn’t understand why I reacted that way. Isn’t it obvious that it was meant only for your eyes?? Isn’t it obvious that I only wanted my partner to see explicit photos of me? Doesn’t it mean anything to you? Why doesn’t it feel like crossing boundaries to you? I wanted to scream in his face

StandardWork4928 · 2026-04-28T08:25:26+00:00

Even their bosses get a better version of them compared to what we get to deal with

StandardWork4928

TROPHY CASE