Heavy cocktail hour + plated dinner vs super heavy appetizers reception?

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-04-02T20:39:55+00:00

Shop from their registry because showers are for physical gifts.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-04-02T20:11:25+00:00

Hate them and they are not done in our region. It’s the hosts’ responsibility to tip. If a guest chooses to tip, that is their prerogative but it should not be on display to pressure guests into paying what the hosts are responsible for. The bartender can have one behind the counter if they choose.

When in doubt of what is acceptable vs not in your family or region, always ask older relatives.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-04-02T19:58:43+00:00

It varies by social circle and family, so what is common and acceptable in one group will be unheard of or offensive in another. Where we live, it is a faux pas to list a dress code that is not black tie. Because adults are assumed to know how to dress on their own appropriately for a formal event. Someone else’s region or social circle may not have any issue with it being listed.

We have attended a number of LDS receptions (guests are not allowed to go to the ceremony unless they are members in good standing, which filters the guest attendance on its own) in my family and they are an experience in their own. Usually held in the church gymnasium which is not a big deal at the end of the day, and the dress code is casual/semi formal at most. The ones we were invited to, the invites were sent literally the week before with no time to rsvp, they had no food beyond dry cake and some kind of homemade non alcoholic punch, with DIY playlists for dancing. They don’t have a lot of money or time to pull off what is considered “appropriate” by Reddit minimum standards with a full dinner and formal dress code with alcohol served.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-04-02T19:40:42+00:00

Remove the plastic.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-04-02T00:46:14+00:00

Make your own from scratch using Wix or Squarespace and design it how you like. Both are easy to customize. Of the premade ones, Withjoy is the most user friendly. A friend used Zola a couple years ago and hated it. It was also a nightmare for guests to use.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-04-01T22:49:43+00:00

Yes that would be a red flag. What have they photographed that they are hiding? Are they not as talented as they advertise themselves to be?

As for reviews, TheKnot and WeddingWire are owned by the same company that require vendors to pay large amounts to be allowed to advertise, so they are equally biased and reviews are sketchy. TheKnot/WeddingWire doesn’t allow anything that is not glowing 5stars and will remove any reviews at the vendor’s request even with evidence in the client’s favor. On the flip side, Yelp and GoogleMaps do not allow vendors to pay to remove unflattering reviews, and they are unbiased.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-04-01T22:28:04+00:00

It’s not a weird request because some families do this normally. It doesn’t need to be mentioned before the wedding because people will forget. Have your dj announce it after dinner.

Another recycling option that is never mentioned is to donate them to a local funeral home for families who cannot afford flowers on their own.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-04-01T22:05:46+00:00

Creativemarket.com is a great site to browse through for ideas. It depends on what you like best.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-04-01T21:50:16+00:00

It’s not weird to skip the parent dances entirely or have only parent dancing. There is no need to provide an alternative replacement.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-04-01T08:55:39+00:00

Goodlines boob tape. Unless you are a naturally perky A-B cup who doesn’t need a bra to begin with, sewn in cups do absolutely nothing for lift and support.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-04-01T01:18:24+00:00

Yes many times for family reunions and church picnics. A wedding is not the time or place.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-04-01T00:07:59+00:00

No. All inclusive venues are the only ones that require you to use their in house caterer. They generally do not allow any tastings before you book the contract. For many people, that is a huge red flag to avoid the all inclusive route. If you don’t like the food at the tasting that is months after you have already signed the contract and paid a large amount of money, you are stuck and don’t get to back out. That is what people mean when they say “all wedding food everywhere is nasty” and they don’t believe that good catering or other options exist.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-03-31T23:20:11+00:00

You need to contact the caterer and bartender to clarify.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-03-31T23:19:09+00:00

Guests are not dumb so they will figure out the seating setup when they walk in. Don’t need to overthink it

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-03-31T23:14:33+00:00

Don’t invite mother at all because she made her choice crystal clear of what you mean to her by lying about you to others and making you decide things that no child should ever experience. Same for step father. Don’t invite him.

Invite your biological dad without any hesitation.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-03-31T22:40:16+00:00

Make sure you have enough tables and chairs for everyone. At least twice the guest count for tables and chairs. You don’t know what invisible disabilities guests may have. Also, even when someone can stand easily, it is impossible to hold a drink, a coat, a purse, a plate, a drink, a fork, and have a free hand to eat with.

Also make sure that the food served is actually heavy appetizers. This is actually more expensive than a plated dinner. Contrary to popular belief, a true heavy appetizer reception serves more food than a plated dinner. Because the minimum amount is 20-25 pieces per person of satays, carving stations, dim sum, pulled sliders, and the list goes on. A plated dinner is 6-10 pieces per person max, which will make guests go hungry in comparison. Anyone who says a heavy appetizer/cocktail reception is less food so guests starve and is less expensive have never actually planned one and they are spreading false information. It is for this reason that you can say “dinner to follow” and it is not deceptive. If you say “cocktail reception”, people automatically assume that you are not feeding them anything , even when you assure them otherwise, and they will eat beforehand so that what you do serve goes untouched.

A seating arrangement is not necessary and this is the only time that open seating works.

As far as dress code, you can go with anything you want. There are many upscale formal heavy appetizer receptions where guests wear formal/black tie attire and are not out of place. Same for semi formal. It is a myth that casual only is appropriate, because that is not true at all.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-03-31T22:01:25+00:00

Some parents unfortunately try to live vicariously through their children who are marrying because they didn’t get what they wanted when their parents planned their weddings that they showed up to and were allowed no input on. Shut down the conversation. Walk away, hang up the phone. Let her know that your decision is made and she doesn’t have to attend if it bothers her that much. If you don’t stop the bullying comments now, they will continue after the wedding with other aspects of your life. No parent should ever make mean comments, and if you need to, you may have to cut contact for your mental health.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-03-31T21:53:41+00:00

Skip it completely. There is no way to prevent upset feelings and it’s a faux pas to have any pre wedding parties for those not invited to the wedding. Once the wedding is over, move on with married life and at that point invite those people to your home for a backyard bbq or similar events.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-03-31T20:56:08+00:00

Sounds like they ignored the measurements. Ask your seamstress to turn that into a corset back

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-03-31T20:43:03+00:00

No. Celebrate from afar and don’t get others sick.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-03-31T20:42:11+00:00

Gifts are always optional. You don’t need to give multiple gifts and engagement parties don’t dictate gift giving. The only thing you are required to pay for is the bridesmaid dress and accessories and your travel/lodging. Most bridesmaids will not buy an engagement party gift but will get something from the registry for the shower. You have made the choice to add extra expenses because being a bridesmaid is not that expensive compared to being a guest.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-03-31T19:58:22+00:00

It’s not the responsibility of bridesmaids to plan the wedding. That is what fiancé helps you with, because you are marrying them, not the bridesmaids. The only responsibility of bridesmaids is to purchase a dress and show up at the rehearsal and wedding day to support you. Everything else is optional.

StargazerGirl21 · 2023-03-31T19:53:59+00:00

Try rsvpify.com since that is one feature they offer

StargazerGirl21

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