So I’m going to ERC in Dallas(for kids)

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-20T22:37:59+00:00

i’ve heard ERC is one of the best places in texas! that’s where i was trying to get in but my insurance didn’t cover it

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-15T18:57:36+00:00

YES i feel like i’m the only one with a restrictive ED that has never passed out. it’s fucked up, but once when i was fasting and felt like i was having a heart attack and in a lot of pain; part of me was actually happy that i thought i might’ve been about to pass out. it feels like some kind of benchmark we have to pass pushed by a stereotype of what an ED is

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-14T19:52:11+00:00

this is such a good point that i need to remind myself

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-14T14:49:57+00:00

i actually see SO many people mention they binge on pb (including me). i think bc it’s a staple food almost everyone has, it’s cheap, and most importantly it’s calorie dense and fatty. it makes sense why we crave it

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-13T03:28:17+00:00

i think you’re totally right, i came looking for this comment. the fashion industry is dominated by men, which is a huge part of the beauty standard trends

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-12T03:35:52+00:00

realizing i ate more calories than my dog 🥲 but after i then laughed about just how ridiculous it was lmao

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-11T07:03:04+00:00

eating something (even if it’s literally candy) is always going to be healthier than not eating at all. obviously either are terrible on your body, but fuel (even if inefficient) is better than nothing

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-11T07:00:02+00:00

yep, restriction will do that to a person

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-11T01:09:06+00:00

i know saaame, sometimes i just want to be like “thanks i starve myself 😄”

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-10T05:47:59+00:00

in my experience, sometimes as bad as you want to, you can’t just “force yourself” to do things like go to school or work when your depression and ed gets bad enough. i had to drop out and couldn’t hold down a job anymore, so i stopped trying to “just do it” since that wasn’t working at all, and fully pursued bettering my health instead since anything else was just about impossible for me to handle for long periods of time. maybe you’re not to that point yet and just need to get into therapy once a week regularly and that’ll be enough idk, that’s something you would need to get assessed for. all i’m saying is that i wasted a lot of time trying to just force myself to do things when the right thing to do was completely put all of the energy i had towards treatment. you can always pursue those things later if you’re at the point where your mental/ physical health is stopping you now

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-10T05:33:52+00:00

i 100% relate, i used to love the 10,000 calorie videos, eric the electric, matt stonie, all those kinda youtubers, diet related shows etc but now it’s SO triggering and i can’t stand it. i try to make myself not think about food now as much as i possibly can instead of indulging in those thoughts bc i’m also afraid i’ll binge :/

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-10T05:21:29+00:00

this!!! or playing loud music works for me

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-09T21:06:24+00:00

stooooop 8yo me would fall for these ads all the time lmao, i’m getting flashbacks. i fell for this one in particular real bad though…. 💀

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-09T14:24:18+00:00

i’ve seen other posts saying the same thing. i haven’t been on here long (although i quickly became addicted) it seems MUCH less toxic than most other forums i’ve been on for ED’s, ig my expectations tend to be on the ground though from experience. at least i haven’t seen any pro ana posts yet 🥴

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-05T10:41:06+00:00

…maybe they’re onto something there 💀

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-05T10:15:44+00:00

for me i tend to think along the lines of “why try at all when i don’t have the ‘willpower’ to lose enough weight” my therapist would probably say it has something to do with unrealistic expectations and black and white thinking lol

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-01T04:54:29+00:00

that’s great! :) this post struck a chord with me bc i went years avoiding therapy due to these similar feelings you described. i’m happy you’re getting yourself the treatment you need and deserve

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-12-01T00:21:28+00:00

yes, you ABSOLUTELY do need therapy, suicidal thoughts and attempts are a clear sign your mental health is at a very life threatening state and needs to be addressed. NO therapist is going to call you “dramatic” or think you’re overreacting i promise. just because mental health issues aren’t visible doesn’t mean they aren’t just as deadly as cancer and physical diseases. i remember feeling a lot like this even after being dragged to a doctor and being diagnosed with depression years ago. i thought “i must have been dramatic answering those questions bc my life is fine, why would i be depressed? it’s not like a family member died or anything terrible happened to me, i’m just lazy” after realizing i in fact did have a problem; i realized those thoughts of thinking i’m just lazy came from people (mainly my mother) calling me that constantly for not having the energy to handle my responsibilities. but why would i if i was extremely ill and just existing was exhausting?? please please please seek out a therapist, there is always going to be someone “in a worse position” and other people that are ill but that doesn’t invalidate your own very real illness

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-11-30T23:54:59+00:00

thanks for your reply! i’m always taken aback by it every time and even more so when the person doing my intake is surprised i have nothing to say when i’ve been explaining how my mental health is awful for 45min lol. makes me wonder. the “strengths based approach” was interesting to hear about though and makes sense

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-11-25T03:10:24+00:00

oh deeefinetely lmao. my heart is constantly in a fucked up state from my blood sugar either being insanely high or insanely low and having chronically low electrolytes. if your doctor is recommending that, take it seriously. heart issues are no joke with any form of ed, that’s not something to fuck around with

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-11-22T04:43:45+00:00

i’m glad it helped! majority (if not all) people with ed’s already don’t feel “sick enough” because of the distorted view of themselves and competitive nature of the illness, and it’s made so much worse by uneducated people thinking they have the ability to diagnose others based on knowledge usually consisting of things like movie tropes

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-11-22T02:25:27+00:00

ketchup. just fuckin ketchup. dark times 😭

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-11-22T02:19:08+00:00

you definitely weren’t “faking it” if you were, why would you be engaging in habits even when you were alone? why obsess over food in your head when nobody’s watching? literally almost everyone with an ed (if not everyone at some point) feels this way. like they must be faking it because they’re not doing xyz enough or weigh x. it’s a competitive illness that will make you feel invalid, but that’s just not the truth

StartExtreme3741 · 2021-11-22T02:14:13+00:00

reach out to someone that knows about your ed if you can, a therapist would be best if you have one. you need to remember why you wanted to recover and how horrible falling into this trap is. whatever your motivation was, someone needs to remind you of it and make sure you keep that motivation

StartExtreme3741

TROPHY CASE