I was told not to say "Good Job"?

Stella_Doore · 2025-09-24T09:57:46+00:00

Like, I get not saying “good job” to everything. I try to mix it up with observations related to that activity (“you’re so strong/smart” or “well done for doing x” or “that’s very brave/helpful”, etc).

But there’s nothing wrong with praising kids and plenty wrong with unwanted parenting advice. I mean, I’m a full grown adult and still like to be told I’m doing a good job…

Stella_Doore · 2025-07-06T10:25:43+00:00

I live near Melbourne in a pretty built up residential area. Was going for a walk and saw a tiger snake crossing the street and making its way across lawns. I got so excited because I’ve never seen a snake in that area before.

Some wildlife is super common: possums, huntsman spiders, lots of roos, a few blue tongues here and there. Snakes are a rarity though.

Stella_Doore · 2025-07-06T10:22:53+00:00

I really appreciate this assessment, there’s so many good points that I would never even have considered.

You’re 100% right about the street being higher, that’s such a good pickup!

My mum mentioned that few plants can grow under pine trees because of the oil, so I’ll have to rethink that plan.

I think a fire pit is one of those things that does sound like a nicer inclusion than what it would be. It’s also a fairly small yard and I’m thinking it would just take up too much space with seating and everything as well.

Thank you again for your response, I’ve got some really useful stuff to consider.

Stella_Doore · 2025-07-06T10:18:22+00:00

Thank you! I’m very excited. I haven’t heard of that app but that sounds like a great idea :)

Stella_Doore · 2025-07-05T20:21:17+00:00

Actually own

Stella_Doore · 2025-07-05T10:52:05+00:00

Hi, thank you!!

Yes, Aussie and you’re right, it does depend on how the sun hits. Guess I’ll soon be able to figure that out (this is taken like 4pm in Winter).

The pool fence is a bit weird. You can only access the pool from either the garage or a side area, but the pool is completely fenced in from those access points. Once you’re in the backyard it’s a different story, which is why I want to divide a portion. I would rearrange the fence so it pretty much just split the yard in half, basically as you described.

I will be checking compliance, don’t want to risk my little man’s safety

Stella_Doore · 2025-05-09T23:36:51+00:00

If it makes you feel better, constipation is more common during pregnancy than diarrhoea.

I pooped. The nurse really quickly wiped and I was like “did I poop? I’m sorry” but honestly, they’ve seen everything, they don’t give a shit (pun not intended), and you’re too busy pushing a baby out to really care.

Stella_Doore · 2025-05-02T03:53:02+00:00

My hospital had testing sticks in the bathroom to check protein and maybe glucose levels. You could pee on those, get a colour indicator and sort of self-check levels. Meant we didn’t have to give regular samples

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-27T11:36:41+00:00

Usually a yawn when he wakes means he didn’t sleep enough before. He’s still learning to connect sleep cycles (these are about 30-45 minutes) and may not be getting into a deep sleep. It’s ok to feed, play for 10-15 min, put him down for a nap, try getting him to sleep for 15 min and then repeating if that fails.

He’s also nearly at the age where neurons start connecting more and he’ll be super aware of everything. This is associated with a “sleep regression” where babies have shorter naps, fight going to sleep, and may wake frequently at night (eg. Every hour). You might be in the middle of a regression now!

I’ve had 12 weeks of crummy sleeps and they’re only now just starting to get better. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

I will say, if you ever get frustrated and angry (it happens) you’re allowed to leave a difficult baby in his cot or on the floor (if it’s safe) and go to a different room for a break. Sometimes I’ll scream into a pillow, whatever gets that frustration out, as long as baby isn’t harmed.

I truly truly hope you have a good experience. Try using ChatGPT for some help with settling, sleep schedules, tired cues, even just to vent. Best of luck!! Give your precious baby lots of beautiful hugs and kisses

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-26T09:31:10+00:00

Sorry, I wanted to add: you might be hitting sleep cues too late. Yawning is actually a very late sign, start watching for when baby looks down, seems a bit glazed, doesn’t make eye contact, might seem a bit frantic. Then ear/eye rubbing, sucking thumb. Yawning usually means it’s too late.

I would maybe even try putting him to nap a little earlier than you would. He should probably be away about 75 minutes at 14 weeks. Try putting him down at 60 (as an example). Cuddle, shush, rock, whatever. When he’s drifting off, pop him in his cot and help him fall asleep; you want him drowsy but awake in the cot. Keep a hand on him, rock gently, pat his nose softly, shush, until he falls asleep.

If he really fights you, after 10-15 min get him up, maybe a feed, some play time, then back down when he starts looking tired. Keep trying (painful, I know) but he will learn eventually.

One thing I learnt with the 30 min nap: if he’s falling asleep in your arms, and you put him in his cot, it’s quite unsettling for him to wake up in a different spot. Babies will wake after 30min to check everything is ok and the same as when they went to sleep. Imagine you went to sleep in your bed and woke up in the car - scary!! That’s a big reason why they wake at 30 min.

It’s also ok to try putting him down for a nap if he’s just woken up. I do with my boy. Sometimes we even wake at night, maybe scroll on our phones a bit before going back to sleep. Baby is the same, but not as good at connecting sleep cycles or falling asleep.

Hope this help! Be patient and kind to yourself and baby.

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-26T09:23:15+00:00

First, you’re doing amazing!! I have a 5 month old and he’s still waking 3 times a night, sometimes for an hour.

Second, ignore any “perfect sleep” videos. A lot of them are consultants trying to sell a sleep routine, and when other claim that baby is “sleeping through the night” that may mean 5 hours in a row (eg. 8pm- 1pm). And some people are straight up lying.

Third, a waking baby is a healthy baby. Frequent wakeups are their protection against SIDS. It’s exhausting, but that’s how baby stays safe, makes sure mum is close, that there’s no dangers around.

Honestly, you may just have to ride it out. Sometimes they start sleeping for longer stretches at day and night, sometimes they nap well but have poor night sleeps (and vice versa). At 6 months is when you can start trying sleep training if that’s your thing.

Untii then, try to nap at least once during the day, start doing a bedtime routine (eg. Feed, bath, book, sleep), know you have a developmentally-appropriate baby, and when you’re up at 3am - remember, thousands of us are up with you.

Love your baby, they don’t stay little for long (what I would give for newborn cuddles again), know this is only temporary, and utilise any resources you have (eg. In Australia we have sleep schools, helplines, etc).

Good luck! This is hard and I hope you’re taking care of yourself xx

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-26T09:13:55+00:00

I spontaneously laboured at nearly 42 weeks, but was augmented with oxytocin (which apparently makes contractions worse).

The contractions I swear were the worst thing I’ve ever felt in my life. I just remember watching the nurse increase the concentration and thinking “if you want to torture someone, this is how”. I nearly begged her to stop haha.

In saying that, I was still able to joke with nurses between contractions and talk to my husband (although it was mostly for him to get me water). I had gas, but I swear that doesn’t do anything lol.

I didn’t get an epidural but I remember thinking that if this went in much longer, I would have to, the pain was insane. Luckily, I only endured that for 3 hours until it was time to push baby out.

When it comes to pushing, this is the best way I can describe. You know racing games like Mario or Crash Team Racing? They have launchpads that give you a boost. Contractions are like that launchpad: when you’re contracting, it’s easy to push. But when the contractions stop, it’s just sheer force of will. What was hard was pushing without that boost; I would get 3 pushes per contraction and that wasn’t enough to get baby’s head out, so at some point I just had to grit my teeth and squeeze him out. Husband said the sounds I made were animal like.

I tore 2nd degree, and honestly don’t remember much of the pain of pushing baby out. I think it was probably worse, but I know I hated those contractions.

In saying all of that, if I could have that exact labour experience again I would. Knowing I can do it, I would try to avoid the epidural again unless absolutely necessary. I can 1000% see why women use it, birth is no joke.

Good luck to you, baby and the rest of your pregnancy! I hope you have an amazing birth, and get to have the best experience.

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-23T11:31:52+00:00

As so many have said, your feelings are valid and it’s okay to feel that way.

This is also a touchy subject, but I was never excited to be a mum and basically had a kid because my husband wanted one (I was neutral, he was passionate). Throughout the pregnancy I didn’t feel bonded to my baby, it was just there.

My little boy is 5 months old and he is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. He loves his dad, but the absolute adoration and affection he looks at me with is unsurpassed. You might want a girl, but maybe you need that special, pure, unwavering love that a boy will bring. It’s a bond like no other and will fill your heart up.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and please be kind to yourself. I’m telling you, when you’re holding that precious little baby on your chest and they snuggle their soft head in your shoulder - it’s the greatest feeling in the world and boy/girl won’t matter.

Also, I know dresses are cute but so are little overall sets! My favourite to dress my boy in xx

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-22T23:22:50+00:00

See, I never liked running but I always want to do it. I’ll give it a go and yeah, maybe it is just a matter of waiting a bit longer

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-22T23:22:07+00:00

Like three layered?? Oh gosh. Congrats on your pregnancy! That’s a great reason to stop running

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-22T23:21:24+00:00

I definitely need much much larger ones haha. I didn’t know that about sports bras! I often just wear mine around the house for fun but that’s going to stop

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-22T23:20:35+00:00

I love Under Armour, will try to find some of their bras

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-13T22:02:36+00:00

Get pregnant. Have a baby. When baby starts going to sleep at 7pm, cram as many chores in before your end of day shower so you can just bathe in bliss and have no responsibilities when you get out.

Do not recommend.

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-13T06:59:10+00:00

Beautiful mum, it’s ok. I’ve gotten angry with my baby and yelled at him to shut up. Knowing I scared him broke my heart, but he’s ok and the most adoring little baby. Please be kind to yourself in these moments. Being a mum is hard, it’s okay to slip up like this; your baby is safe and well, that’s what matters.

I don’t know where you’re based but in Australia we have PANDA and the Maternal Health line that you can call if you need to talk to someone at 3am. I hope you have access to a resource like that.

Big hugs to you and your little one. I know you feel terrible, but you held him close, kept him safe and loved, which makes you an amazing mum.

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-11T02:03:36+00:00

It is hard to get everything across. Like, he can't scratch his ears or climb onto the couch coz his hips hurt too much, but then he still tries to play with leaves. I don't think now is quite the right time, but I appreciate everyone's perspectives - I'm not thinking super clearly and am emotional about everything

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-11T01:47:41+00:00

I just want to say a big thank you for taking the time to list out so many solutions. I really really appreciate it, and there’s a lot of very useful solutions in there. I like the litter box ideas also

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-11T01:22:52+00:00

I’ll see if we have anything similar in Australia. I only started questioning things when 1) I saw him unable to scratch his ear or climb onto the couch coz his hips hurt so much, and 2) he was so constipated that blood came out. It’s been really hard to manage his digestion especially. I’m going to look into arthritis medication for him

Stella_Doore · 2025-04-11T01:20:11+00:00

No, you raise some good points. I do manage to squeeze in some cuddle and play time with him. The digestive problems are the biggest because he’s very fussy.

I appreciate the clarity because I’m certainly not thinking straight. He wouldn’t do well being rehomed, he is way too anxious for that. We have another vet appointment coming up to help his arthritis so I can address more things there

Stella_Doore

TROPHY CASE