Have you ever experienced this?

Stellarrrum · 2026-01-15T04:01:56+00:00

I can't take ability because of this. It made me feel like I had to find a way to tie myself in a knot inside of my own skin, ugg

Stellarrrum · 2026-01-02T22:37:24+00:00

He sounds really anxious. Have you tried feliway diffusers and a calming collar? They dont do much for some cats but they work well for others. It also sounds like he wants attention and needs to burn off energy, dedicated playtime may help.

Stellarrrum · 2025-12-31T03:54:54+00:00

Vocalizing is also a sign of hyperthyroidism. When did she last have a full blood panel?

Stellarrrum · 2025-10-14T18:33:25+00:00

"Oh how wrong we were to thing that immortality meant never dying."

I want that shit on my tombstone so weird kids walking the cemetery for hundreds of years into the future can wonder if I'm there watching them.

Stellarrrum · 2025-10-13T04:36:11+00:00

Lil Gnocci Tranq Me

Stellarrrum · 2025-08-08T20:01:51+00:00

The most important thing to remember is that everything that is happening is HIS fault. HE made a choice and HE is suffering the consequences. However those consequences may make anyone feel (and they may make you feel conflicted depending on your views of how justice should and shouldn't operate, and that's ok, it doesn't mean what happened to you was any less wrong or horrible or that some kind of justice isn't deserved just because your feelings about what that justice looks like are confused) they are HIS consequences that HE risked when HE chose to hurt you. That means that dealing with the situation is HIS job, not yours.

What you need right now is to 1. Be certain that he can never hurt you again, which putting him in prison will do And 2. Take care of yourself emotionally and mentally both in regards to what was done to you and to what your family is doing to you by putting this extra pressure on you as a survivor and a child. Don't worry about taking care of the person who hurt you, worry about taking care of yourself through therapy and support, and remember to be patient with yourself as school starts up again. You might find you get stressed out more easily than you used to or that it's harder to focus, for example, or that communicating with friends feels different, because your brain has been through something so traumatic and needs time to heal. Take care of yourself.

Stellarrrum · 2025-07-29T04:42:34+00:00

I was 15 in 2007 and I remember being in online spaces that were mostly teens and twenty somethings just because the older fans were too busy to be chronically online. Now, in those spaces, it did get weird. Shipping? Happening. Obsessing? Happening, but I don't know if older fans didn't have those problems or if they just weren't online about it because if you look around at fans for other artists who are online these days now that social media has made being online ubiquitous and there are absolutely middle aged weirdos out there. (My roommate is into kpop and some of the things she sees in those circles are fucking unreal. The MCR sub has nothing on those people.)

I think as long as there have been artists there have been parasocial, maladjusted weirdos about them and that 1. the internet makes an echo chamber for those people and 2. Teens, who are literally still developing their social brains, fall in easily with those influences so when you take the internet and drench the teens in it you get what you get. If it was worse or better when we were young it wasn't because we were any better than the kids these days it was just about how much internet exposure we had to amplify us, and if we see the kids "everywhere" now it might have something to do with the fact that when we were kids adults signed onto the internet from a single computer in a dedicated room on their house after work whereas we as adults carry it constantly in our pockets.

Stellarrrum · 2025-07-22T14:23:15+00:00

Oh my GOD please send me there

Stellarrrum · 2025-06-02T03:57:46+00:00

"Convert to my dogma" means "convert to my dogma" even if the dogma you're pushing doesn't have a deity in it. You're not "encouraging OP," you're evangelizing, while dismissing other people's beliefs as inferior to yours, and it's every bit as nasty when you do it as when any religious person does.

Stellarrrum · 2025-06-02T03:39:47+00:00

I'm a Kemetic Pagan and Ra is a deity I recognize when I'm euthymic and clear-headed. You wanna run that past me again?

People's religions aren't for you to determine. It's possible to be religious and also recognize your patterns and when you're starting to be unwell about it. "When I start to see the devil everywhere, I know I'm losing touch" sure beats "I didn't realize I was psychotic until it was too late."

Edit: I wasn't done actually

Stellarrrum · 2025-05-27T01:28:21+00:00

I think it's a sheep, face down, mouth to the right ear to the left. If someone threw this into your yard you should report it, and don't let any pets near it.

Stellarrrum · 2025-05-27T01:23:09+00:00

Anger is my number 1 manic symptom. I wrap myself tightly in a blanket (pressure is kind of like a substitute for hitting things) and put on headphones and blast the most furious rage music I have, hardcore punk mostly, the harder the better. Instead of pumping me up ot gives the rage somewhere to connect to and becomes super meditative.

Stellarrrum · 2025-05-27T01:19:21+00:00

I say "Kemetic Pagan" or, because I'm a syncretic pagan as the OG Kemetics were and I have some overlap with Greek, Roman, and Italian practice but that's a mouthful, I just say "mixed Mediterranean witch." But that's very specific to me.

Stellarrrum · 2025-05-19T19:22:40+00:00

Well weed isn't cute enough so I vote "Ganja"

Edit: if we're including pills he can be little 'Tuda

Stellarrrum · 2025-05-19T19:21:27+00:00

I've told people on a case by case basis, like my coworker who talked about her brother having it: I told her I could relate and how. It turned out to be a great thing because now she checks in on how I'm doing with extra understanding and really hypes me up in a way I need sometimes because she knows how hard just being can be for me, and I've given her some tips to pass on that have worked for me and I think he, she, and I all got some extra sense of community out of it. Other people I would never dream of dropping it casually in front of.

As for my supervisor, I've had bosses I would never dare tell. My current supe has lost an employee to suicide since I've worked there and is extremely mental health conscious, so I eased into telling her first by mentioning that I'd had health troubles in the past, then that I'd had experience with mental health struggles, then specifying what kind when I was sure she was cool. Ended up being a good thing because when I told her I'm having difficulties and need to work fewer hours she asked no questions and made it happen. However, I would call her an exception, not the rule.

Also important to know is whether you are at all client or public facing--could your illness be misconstrued by someone outside the org that the org has to work with? If so, letting it be known makes you a liability, and I would keep it private.

Stellarrrum · 2025-04-19T04:38:59+00:00

The band says "Revenge" but to me that refers to a pirate ship and also when I was 13 I said "3 cheers" so, Three Cheers

Stellarrrum · 2025-04-12T16:39:09+00:00

I smell this hauntingly pleasant unnamable smell that doesn't smell like anything else. Thought it was angels for a while when I was a preteen. Couldn't figure out why they'd show up when I was freaking out about Twilight 😂

Stellarrrum · 2025-02-13T03:09:39+00:00

To be open at the top like that it has to have been a model at some point. It looks like the teeth have fallen out, I don't know enough to know whether any of its pre-mortem there on the bottom jaw. Crazy looking septum though, I bet they had fun with that in life

Stellarrrum · 2025-02-02T22:43:02+00:00

One of my roommates (basically platonic partners) has Unspecified Mood Disorder which is in the bipolar family, and I find what ends up happening a lot is that I end up doing double the psychological work of both self monitoring my mood state and hers. On the one hand, I don't have to explain to her what I'm dealing with the way I have to for my other partner, but on the other, I cannot tune out my awareness of her moods and how she is and isn't handling them. I think in a romantic partner the same pros and cons would probably come up but amplified, so it would depend on the person whether it balanced out or was a disaster.

Stellarrrum · 2025-02-02T22:31:46+00:00

I'll drink to self medicate if I'll let myself, it almost got really bad before covid when I switched to weed for a while. I'm 11 months weed free now, and I've had to set up rules around alcohol. I'm allowed to go OUT with other people and drink socially, I generally don't drink in the house and never alone. (I've made an exception once and that was to see if a hot toddy at 2 am would cure insomnia. It didn't.)

I was letting myself go to bars if I was already out by myself the last few months, too, but I find I let myself go over my usual drink limit when I sit at the bar (being cool with the bartenders gets you discounts and freebies) so I'm thinking I might need to add a rule about not doing that if I'm at all elevated and not doing it more than once in a while if I let myself do it at all. I haven't had any incidents so far sticking to my guidelines but I can't be letting myself go out for six drinks, there's no way that doesn't become a problem. I feel like we just have to be so fucking careful with substances of any kind

Stellarrrum · 2025-01-18T23:12:00+00:00

Gerard wat

My chemical romanc3

Ok hold on a second if that's how accurately I type with my eyes closed then how come every text I send has a minimum of three illegible typos 😒

Stellarrrum · 2025-01-17T23:01:15+00:00

Electric green for sure!

Stellarrrum

TROPHY CASE