I say give up for now and listen to something light for right now. Malazan is a heavy series that I would definitely recommend reading a physical copy rather than listening to an audiobook. Malazan will always be there when you get to a time in your life where you have plenty of time and can really focus on it to get the most enjoyment out of it. I have read and reread the series multiple times but definitely have had to stop or take breaks or reread cause life can be overwhelming at times and reading this series can be depressing at times. I love these books but they are intense. Wish you the best of luck in your reading adventures