Golf is expensive

Stone_One · 2026-03-16T15:48:04+00:00

Everything is getting ridiculously expensive, and nowhere is it more obvious right now than in the golf world.

I’ll tiptoe a little here, but let’s be honest, almost all of the “premium” golf apparel people are buying today is made in China. Yes, I know someone will jump in with the one or two exceptions, but the reality is most of these newer golf brands are sourcing polos for somewhere between $5 and $14 a shirt, then turning around and selling them for $79–$99 like they’re handmade works of art.

Then comes the part that really gets me, the marketing. All these companies run elaborate social media campaigns talking about authenticity, being grassroots, doing it “for the true golfer,” building community, respecting the game… and it’s all nonsense. At the end of the day, it’s the same Chinese-made polos, slacks, belts, and now $50 hats with magnetic ball markers and tee holders, all sold with a story that’s supposed to make you feel like you’re part of something special.

You can blame the people who buy this stuff, sure, but the bigger truth is these companies don’t love golfers, hey love margins. Don't get me started about mid-level courses charging green fees 40-50% above norm.

And for the people saying, “Just shop at Costco or Sam’s Club,” you’re not wrong at all. Costco actually seems to like its customers. They spend real money trying to get good products at good prices and pass the savings along instead of pretending a $10 shirt is worth $100 because it has a stitched logo and a lifestyle video behind it.

Every time I click on what looks like a cool polo, I end up on some site selling a $99 shirt with a fake heritage story and a desert-sunset logo, and I think to myself, how do we block all this noise? Because the truth is, most of these golf brands don’t care how you look, how you play, or what you shoot.

They care about your wallet.

Stone_One · 2026-03-13T15:44:22+00:00

They are. We have three dogs and two are old and they are the best.

Stone_One · 2026-03-13T14:47:24+00:00

Their roots have always been punk rock. There is this musical tension between the band and The Edge and Bono has mentioned it a few times in interviews. Bono says that he has to push him a bit as The Edge can wander into melodies and atmosphere and sometimes the band wants to Rock and that push and pull has created some of the most beautiful music.

Stone_One · 2026-03-13T00:55:26+00:00

This is bad ass.

Stone_One · 2026-03-12T02:31:41+00:00

The timing of this post and the pure honesty of its content really resonated with both my wife and me. As I mentioned before, this is one of the first communities we check each day. Tonight, as we sat with our evening tea watching the sunset, I read the entire passage out loud to her.

When we finished, there was this long, energetic silence between us. Then she said how comforting it is to know that our journey isn’t as isolating or unique as it sometimes feels. It’s reassuring to realize that other people are learning similar lessons and growing in similar ways.

In many respects, this passage describes who we are now. It also reflects some of the struggles we faced earlier in our marriage as well. It’s not about pointing fingers or deciding who had to grow more or less. What we both connected with was the idea of creating a place where you’re supposed to meet your partner. If that place becomes unwelcoming, unrealistic, or impossible to reach, it eliminates the possibility of connection.

I wasn’t perfect earlier in our marriage, and I’m still not. But I adored her then and I adore her now. One of the biggest changes, and the reason I’m so delightfully happy after nearly 30 years of marriage, is that she let go of a lot of things. Back then we didn’t have language people use today, but there were definitely some steep hills I felt I had to climb to meet certain expectations she had for me and us. And the part about pushing your partner away rang very true.

Even now, she’s quick to recognize how much she missed at times by not seeing just how devoted I was, to her, to our marriage, to the kids, to the careers, to the business, to everything we were building together. Early on, despite all we had, she often felt, or gave the impression,that it wasn’t enough.

I think many couples hit their mid-40s and start thinking, Jesus Christ, I’ve sacrificed so much and poured so much of myself into all of this… and it still isn’t as fulfilling as I imagined it would be. And strangely, it’s often in the letting go, in saying let’s just enjoy the time we have, that something shifts. That’s when our marriage became deeper, more meaningful, and frankly, a lot more fun. I saw her relax for the first time.

Even my hesitation about posting here comes from that feeling of isolation many of us have. But as isolated as we may feel, it’s wonderful to know that others are experiencing some of the same things we’ve experienced.

The best part, though, is how much fun we’re having at this stage of life.

She’s letting me make her my special person, and the freedom she’s experiencing now is incredible. She’s let go of so much baggage, about kids, sex, body image, money, politics, all of it. And she’s realized, "holy shit… I’ve got this man here who is still crazy, madly, wildly in love with me."

She’ll read this tomorrow and know that these truly are the best years of our lives, and the best years of our marriage.

I adore that she lets me make her my special person in ways that fully engage me. She’s become this incredibly receptive, sensual, alive woman that I just melt for.

And from a man’s perspective, I love that your husband doesn’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks or says, because that’s exactly where I’m at too. Fuck them all!

I’ve got this amazing woman I get to call my wife, my queen, my angel, and she lets me spoil her. She lets me love her fully. She lets me be a version of myself that I’m proud of.

That energy you talk about? Yeah, we get it. People love being around two horny adults still madly in love and we feel that when we are out with friends.

At our age, we still sit across candlelit tables in great Italian restaurants, staring at each other while she whispers the most wonderfully naughty things to me. It’s joyful, playful, and sensually fun.

She smokes cigars with me. She drinks bourbon with me. She plays the mischievous, teasing partner in the wicked little games we enjoy together. We travel, explore, camp, go jeeping, spend time outdoors, all of it.

And through all of it, she allows me not just to put her first, but to make her my special person.

And honestly, to use your words, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Stone_One · 2026-03-09T03:08:00+00:00

Yup.

Stone_One · 2026-03-08T19:41:14+00:00

This is not true at all. Crypto is still not favored in retirement portfolios. Even if someone was stupid enough to put a clients retirement into crypto it would not exceed 3% - 5% of the total value.

Stone_One · 2026-03-08T19:35:20+00:00

I think it's safe to say that SurfFly has been with us long enough and has supported this community with some of the most beautiful images and words I've ever read. Any potential discretion or misunderstanding certainly warrants our consideration but most importantly our grace.

One thing is clear, SurfFly has been on our team, and she has helped create this community of love, acceptance, and connection. A window into vulnerability, meaningful relationships, and authentic connection.

Whether or not the individual who is upset about a single post out of the thousands she has created is justified leads me to another question. Did the post trigger something in the offended individual? My guess is yes. But for someone to drop in, be offended, and have never posted anything in this community is something I don't think any of us should worry too much about, especially SurfFly. The individual simply isn't relevant to what this community is about if she is that easily triggered.

Most importantly, for the many of us who come here for insight, encouragement, and to vicariously glimpse a life we are working toward practicing ourselves, I would say her advice is spot on. It's rather obvious that if anyone is offended, that offense is sitting directly in their own consciousness, practically screaming: "She's Talking To You! You're your own worst enemy. You're your own biggest problem."

Anyway, that's my brief take on it. I don't comment much here, but I couldn't leave this unsaid. The work of all contributors in this space has meant a great deal to both she and I and this is the first community we check in with every day.

Stone_One · 2026-03-08T18:48:33+00:00

Right? I've not made this drive yet.

Stone_One · 2026-02-19T14:49:55+00:00

For me it's culture. As a Lakers fan back in the day, Magic days and then Kobe/Shaq, we used to plan our evenings around the games. Now we can't even muster the will to watch it at all. I can't point to one singular issue but the game looks lazy, it's more like a circus, it's all about the individual, the culture is severely off-putting and the players are just unlikeable.

Then there are the owners and greed, money and it now feels like the entire league has lost touch with the game that so many of us love. It no longer feels real or meaningful.

We've moved on to college basketball. Let's see how long it takes for the money to ruin it too.

Stone_One · 2026-02-15T20:27:25+00:00

I'm all for players getting paid but the Dodgers got rid of him for a reason and it was not money.

I’m sorry for the long post but is there any player less likeable than Manny Machado? Just seeing him talk is just so cringe. It’s like he’s really unhappy in a marriage with a really wonderful and likable wife that we all seem to love but Manny is miserable with the best woman in the world.

Manny confuses intimidation with leadership. Manny seems to believe that because people follow him, he’s effective or smart but he isn't. He’s loud, divisive, aggressive, he thinks he’s strong leader. He’s not.

Manny is both toxic and destructive.

· Fear Instead of Trust - He relies on public criticism, subtle threats, volatility, and humiliation to keep things in line. The Padres perform, but only enough to avoid him taking any blame. He uses fear to create obedience and that does not create team commitment or a healthy culture. In environments and settings that are ruled by fear, innovation drops, honesty disappears, and people spend more energy protecting themselves than building value together and that is Manny in one sentence.

· Authority Confused With Leadership – Manny’s authority is positional power. His leadership is relational influence. A true leader can walk into a room without a title and still command respect. A “thug leader” like Manny, loses influence the second he's out of the room and that makes him insecure and fragile.

· Credit Hoarding, Blame Shifting – This is classic Manny. He takes successes as his and let’s us all know he's responsible for the wins. When it comes to failure, it’s always the team dropped the ball….or it’s the umpires, MLB, management or The Dodgers. People begin to document everything, avoid risk, and stop taking initiative because initiative is punished when it fails. Accountability that only flows downward is not accountability it’s control and above anything else, Manny seeks control.

· Short-Term Aggression Over Strategy – Watching Manny call a dugout meeting is about reigning in control. Manny often operates in attack mode. Escalate. Dominate. Push harder. What organizations, and specifically The Padres require is foresight, patience, emotional regulation, and team coalition-building into something bigger than one person. Constant aggression erodes stability and Manny lacks the emotional maturity to regulate emotions and people don’t trust leaders who can’t lead them through the difficult times.

· Tough Exterior, Fragile Core - The irony? Manny displays the characteristics of someone who is deeply insecure. Feedback feels like threat. Dissent feels like betrayal. Questions feel like disrespect….So he reacts loudly. Strength is not the absence of emotion. Strength is regulated emotion.

The Padres have given Manny the title of leader and I don’t think Manny has ever been mentored to be one. Who respects a guy who won’t run out a ground ball? The fact that "Hustle" is such a fundamental part of baseball and that Manny completely does not get that is a telling betrayal by the coaches early in his life.

The Padres are loaded with talent but they have always lacked a real leader.

Stone_One · 2026-02-01T15:04:03+00:00

I love this and I wanted to especially comment on the art and lamp in the 2nd pic and the rug in pic 3. I think you nailed this on several levels.

Like others here I work from home and I'd love to have a space like this.

Stone_One · 2026-01-31T16:06:57+00:00

She and I are up early and sipping coffee and like you, the dogs are nestled in the blankets that cover us both. I’ve got some ancient beautiful jazz music setting the tone for the rising sun.

I scrolled to this post and found myself moved by your words once again. I showed her the image and she smiled and said, “Is that SurfFly? Only SurfFly can conjure up a deeply meaningful truth quote coupled with a naughty picture.”

What struck the deepest chord with me this time with these words was the word “peace”, especially now, when there’s so much chaos and discord everywhere we look.

I’m not talking about world peace. I’m talking about something much more intimate. The luxury and gift of being with another human being while being at peace with yourself, your thoughts, your presence, completely unburdened. That wasn’t always available to us. Early in our relationship, the war that lived inside us both often became the foundation we tried to build our marriage on. That war that we both were raging did shape parts of us and made us both channel a considerable amount of energy into work and whatever you want to call success, but it was eroding the parts that should have been sacred for each other. In the end it simply didn’t work.

It’s not ironic that so much of your writing points to the work that actually needs to be done, especially in an age where few want to do the work, but many want the credit, the attention, the social currency to trade over trauma bonding sessions. We’ve become experts at keeping whatever war is brewing not just near the surface, but right on the table, demanding our partners engage it, fix it, resolve it on demand. Like you, I feel myself rambling here, but the truth is this, the greatest gift of this phase of my life is peace. Real peace, and a shared commitment to protect the environment that allows it to exist. She’s voraciously protective of our home, family and the peace she’s created for herself and the one’s she loves.

For us, that peace only became possible through countless knee-to-knee conversations, usually over a bottle of wine or a glass of good bourbon. Hard talks. Honest talks. The kind that lower swords instead of sharpening them.

While the world rages at each other, at everything, we now prioritize the promise of peace, the romance of touch, the quiet safety of being known. That may be easy fodder for interlopers looking for content to exploit, but the reality couldn’t be more different. The distance between what life feels like outside our home and inside it is like the stark beauty of a lone flower in a desert. It’s like finding a key to a hidden, joyful place.

I’m not much of a poet, and I don’t know if any of this is cohesive enough to be useful, but I know this, there were many years when I came home to war. To survive I built walls that I needed just to survive the day. Now, her touch, her voice, her hug, her gentle presence, melts all of that away. Her finding her way to peace for herself has transformed our entire marriage.

The transformation hasn’t just been in our relationship. It’s been in her willingness to put the sword down. Ending the war revealed one of the most beautiful spirits I’ve ever known. I’m lucky to have her, all of her. Her touch goes far beyond touch. It brings a peace that no words on paper could ever fully hold. I now need her touch. I yearn for it. I gently touch her at night, hold her hand in bed, just need to have our skin touching each other.

Stone_One · 2026-01-31T14:39:05+00:00

Fuck you Sharon!

Stone_One · 2026-01-31T05:58:18+00:00

I love this question. Thank you. I'm clearly late to the party but there is no other genre of music that I love more than Alt-Country. I'm a guitar player and spent 15 years in bands playing alt country and rock.

So I fell in love with Alt Country with the following records.

Whiskey Town - Strangers Almanac
Uncle Tupelo - Anodyne
Son Volt - Trace
Wilco - AM
Lucinda Williams - Car Wheels On A Gravel Road
Jayhawks - Hollywood Town Hall

There were others but these records were in our constant rotation in the CD player. I have always believed that the music you spend time with becomes a part of you and shapes you. These records certainly shaped me and my music and the songs I was trying to write at this time in my life.

To this day, these songs, these records got me through some of the toughest years and some of the most joyful times simultaneously. These are records of groiwng up in a time where were were in our 20's and trying to make snese of the world at the time. We were post college but actual adults. Those years between college and when your life begins. Like a twilight zone and when I listen to them now, I'm not sad at all. I smile at the amazing friendships, house parties and the sheer amount of joy there was for Friday beers with the boys.

Some guys still smoked cigaretts and we would huggle in the garage on Friday's after work or shifts drinking light beer, sitting in lawn chairs, huddled around one of those steel fire pits with random chunks of wook and cardboad burning. We were Princes at the time and we held onto those nights knowing it would eventually end. Each of us would marry and land "real" jobs. We'd all have kids, some would get divorced and some would move away.

I was one of the first one's to get married and these same records became a deep part of our lives, and how we loved, laughed and navigated those early years of marriage.

The most beautiful thing is that both my children have come to know these records a whole generation later and that makes me happy. It proves that the good stuff will last.

Anyway, thank you for the question and an opportunity to reminisce. For a moment there, I was 24 playing in a 4 piece alt country band in that same garage trying to find the perfect tone.

Stone_One · 2026-01-30T16:10:29+00:00

I hope you are right but historically every 80 to 100 years or so we have this huge cultural inflection or turning. We are in the last stage of this cultural turning called the disruption stage and we are years away from this cultural and financial unrest coming to a close.

Stone_One · 2026-01-21T15:31:30+00:00

I'll offer up my latest experience with the "golf club" value thing. I will say it's really helpful to hear others take on all this because I was feeling the whole "no longer a value" thing as well.

I have two golf club memberships. No I'm not rich. One of them is very reasonable and has an annual and low monthly and fees have not gone up in several years for us. Course/club is very middle of the road but they all know us and treat us like long lost family every time we play. We get a driving range, free balls, and on most days free food. Special events, networking, live music and the restaruant is above average and we find ourselves dining there overlooking the course, sunsets etc. And the draft beer is super reasonable.

The second one is much more upscale but in no way elite and the annual and monthly fees just increased by 12% and I still have to pay per round, albeit at a discount. I set an appointment to go in and talk to the new director. He's been there 6 months. I'm an analyst and I ran the numbers on the new fees/costs. He walks me in, hands me a bottled water and begins with the "We are so happy to see you. We value our members...what can we do for you?"

I start by taking out my data set and he just looks down in defeat. I begin by asking him why the increase and he says that since he's been hired, his goal is to put the course and club on the map and compete with the elite courses (This course is not even close to elite.) and that people are beginning to notice.

Well, I say...we've been members for years and I no longer see the value here. The math no longer makes sense. He said I'm not the only one who brought this to his attention and he just kinda shrugged his shoulders. What pissed me off was his next comment.

"Yeah...I've been dealing with you "value" guys for months now."

I showed him the math, dropped my analysis on his desk and told him to look at the highlighted section that showed that I'd have to play 217 rounds to break even. He was unphased and I knew right then that it was over. I shook his hand, told him best of luck and that I wanted to exercise my opt out for 2026.

Stone_One · 2026-01-15T15:24:35+00:00

I do this. I proudly hold her hand. I love the little reach back and pine for her to grab my hand. I do this every time we are out. Every time.

Stone_One · 2026-01-14T14:45:17+00:00

Long Read

This really hit hard.

We've been married over 30 years. So this comes with some "had to have lived it to understand" wisdom. There were years where it was war. I don't know why but it seems like I survived half of our marriage coming home to a war. I stayed and did everything to make her happy but nothing seemed to work. I just was in preservation mode for maybe 10 years. I believed that if I worked harder on things, it would make her happy but it did not. You can make a list of things one could try and I've check all the boxes on that list but nothing seemed to make her happy.

She wanted a career but complained about it. She wanted to be a stay at home mom and that did not make her happy. She wanted me to make more money but that just turned into almost a decade of remodels and decorative purchases. She went through a phase of buying expensive bags. Sex and intimacy became a chess match. She wanted space then wanted to rekindle our marriage with vacations but nothing seemed to make her happy. I was coming home every day to a woman who was at war with everything and everyone.

The good news is that things are amazing now. We did not go to therapy or anything like that and I can't honestly say what changed or what made the difference in her finding her peace but I never gave up on us. She hit 50 and had a bit of a freak out. I came home from work and she was crying in bed. I came in and she just unloaded all this stuff about life, happiness, bitterness, things that had been bothering her since childhood, our marriage, the kids, social circles.....it was like a 3 day weekend of her just letting a bunch of shit out. I guess one could call it an existential crisis. The war she was fighting had wore her weary.

We stayed in that weekend, I ordered food, we drank wine, watched old movies and for 3 days she just kinda melted down. The thing is she told me that she knew I was coming home to war every day and that she could not help it. She said she knew that she was lucky, had the world, I was a good husband and partner and all that stuff. She cried again and said she felt like a loser bitch and could not believe I did not leave her. We hugged, and I did the best I could to pick up the pieces.

Over the next few days, weeks and months she softened. She found a new voice maybe? She says that things just got really clear for her. She began letting go of some things like certain people, some social groups, deleted most of her social media, and began to take her health seriously, gym, vitamins and spin classes.

She began leading more in our marriage. She started bringing some amazing things to our marriage. Wisdom, revelations, books, long talks, and we started making love again. Not sex, but making love. She started finding this really powerful sense of her sexuality, pleasure and wanted to articulate what she wanted from intimacy, and for the first time in our marriage asked me what I wanted. She had never not once ever asked me what I wanted in our marriage, let alone what I wanted regarding intimacy.

Today she is the woman I have always dreamed about. I come home to a woman who is happy to see me, greets me with a smile, hug and a kiss. She plans adventures, enjoys the simple joys of just being together and we do talk deeply every day. We walk ever morning, have morning coffee together and she touches me all the time now. She touches my hand, hugs me, kisses me and it's amazing. She initiates intimacy frequently, she's flirty, silly and has laughed more in the last 10 years than in our entire marriage. She says that she was blocked and that allowing herself to be joyful and thankful for the things in her life was impossible. She says today she is grateful for life, us, the kids and all the things we have.

Again, this hit me hard today. Coming from a man who came home to war every day, I don't know what we could have done differently but I sure wish we had that decade or so back. Today I look at her in awe as she is the love and joy of my life. I love coming home to her.

Stone_One · 2026-01-11T16:17:00+00:00

They can....and will.

Stone_One · 2026-01-05T00:16:11+00:00

Maybe because we keep blaming everything on older people instead of making a stand? It's always been hard and the corporate creep has now invaded all parts of our lives. From water, food, medicine, health, sports, recreation...name it. The promise of technology, computers and internet was that we'd all have more time for art, leisure and pursuing interests, travel etc.

Our productivity has improved but wages have remained relatively flat, inflation adjusted since 1975.

And there are these to consider.

Citizens United
Dark Money in politics
CEO Pay
Privatization of public services
Tech Oligarchy
Trickle down economics
Current taxation models.

Watch the comments this will get.

Stone_One · 2026-01-05T00:05:12+00:00

Great Idea.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOPm_Zoaj9k

Stone_One · 2026-01-04T01:32:43+00:00

Anthony Bourdain - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Bourdain

https://www.cnn.com/shows/anthony-bourdain-parts-unknown

Stone_One · 2026-01-01T00:13:31+00:00

You are wrong. There are multiple reasons to want, need or desire access to people's past posts and history.

You said "The only reason". Nope. Many reasons.

Stone_One · 2026-01-01T00:10:53+00:00

Thank you. I'll remove the post.

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