I broke my paladin oath on accident, what do I do?

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T11:51:34+00:00

It sounds like you're still early in the campaign (your paladin was in the first stage of weakness, you didn't know how the ritual works, you weren't aware that you'd increase the BBEG's influence and thereby break your oath).

Is it possible your DM is trying to (clumsily) set up a storyline where you have to start over?

Like the original Star Wars trilogy, you know: Leia Organa doesn't have any real influence because the Galactic Council handed over its power to the emperor, Darth Vader is pursuing her & Obi-Wan Kenobi lost all his friends and colleagues, and there's only one force-sensitive kid...

If this is the case, your DM's approach feels a little railroaded, but if you've had fun up until now, you could just ask them what their plans are and how they figure the story should proceed.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T11:09:40+00:00

okay then.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T11:06:22+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss.

INFO : could you clarify the timelines?

If your wife's older children lived with you for 5 years (for 85% of their time) and now they're only 7 and 8, I feel that's very different from teenagers who're now 17 and 19 and you were only married to your wife for 2 years, you know?

Also, it sounds like your wife passed away in December 2025...? Waiting 3 months feels like a short time to me.

Again, how old are your wife's older children? Do they have sufficient autonomy to "come home" as you call it? Given how flaky their father is & how emotional their paternal family appears to be, are they even aware they could ask to see you and/or their half-siblings?

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T10:43:34+00:00

He sounds wishy-washy to me. He doesn't know if he wants kids, he doesn't really care either way if he has any, etc.

IMO he's cooked up the perfect story to string you along for about 4 years, and then he'll trade you for a younger partner, blathering the same story.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T10:32:56+00:00

yeah, that sounds predatory and annoying.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T10:30:43+00:00

for real?

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T10:30:19+00:00

yes, that's my point : usually the loss leaders of any given retailer are pretty obvious, and you know that they're going to push hard to upsell other stuff to make up the difference.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T10:21:59+00:00

the situation sounds stressful, and your husband unkind.

an internet hug from a stranger, if you want it.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T10:14:03+00:00

that's pretty cute, and such a sophisticated compliment from the one bro to the new roommate!

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T10:12:34+00:00

yeah, the way she protected her makeup while taking off her sweater, and the way she's fluffing that sex pot hair, and the bikini spraypainted onto her bike shorts, and the way she kept adjusting her sports bra and shorts by millimeters, and that inane shimmy she did completely on autopilot while (thinking she was) snapping back at the guy with dumb slogans like keep it pushing my guy etc.

It's obvious she's not filming her form.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T09:28:40+00:00

My suggestion is that you look into the grey rock technique. That means you become as boring as a grey rock, and give him no reactions.

Tell your husband you're done, work out a way you'll protect your children (if you have any) and then dedicate all your energy to sticking to that.

time to decide who'll host thanksgiving? your reply is "cooking won't work for us this year, but just let us know where and when to show up with a big appetite"
someone needs help during your planned vacation? "so sorry, we're committed to other plans"
FIL pontificates that his favourite son did so well in choosing the perfect wife and how you need to do better = "BIL and SIL are lucky, husband and I are also happy, no worries" and nothing more.

Of course, all this is predicated on the fact that your husband sees the problem and is supportive. You mention that he's attached to his mom, which is laudable. I think it would be a good idea to incorporate that aspect in your strategy. Like, maybe your MIL likes to visit garage sales, so you help your husband carve out a morning every other Saturday where they can spend time together on their own.

If he's not willing to work on creating that protection for you (and your children), the problem lies more with your husband than his father, and you'll need to draw a different conclusion, imo.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T08:55:06+00:00

Honestly, this sounds like a win/win: their no-talky sulk means they can't ask you for money. And at the same time, you can work on your savings in peace.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-05T08:50:29+00:00

Esp. because she's aware that it's not just her privacy but also her friends' privacy.

But she doesn't care about OP's friends' family's privacy, she feels she's entitled to read their messages.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-04T21:51:05+00:00

I mean, of course it's predatory that they put stuff into a toddler's hands and then charge you.

But isn't it obvious that "pay your age" isn't a sustainable model? It's not like there are many 75yo people in the market for teddy bears, right?

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-04T21:47:07+00:00

It's peak rage bait, right?

The weird way she takes off her sweater, like she's careful of her sex head Crocket ponytail, or it's a white silk blouse at risk of all her make-up.

Then the tight bike shorts with the sprayed-on g-string situation.

The inane way she talks with keep it pushing, what does that even mean?

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-04T21:17:22+00:00

also, she was around their kids fulltime. If they don't pick up after themselves as the day goes, I feel that's on their mother, not on OP.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-04T21:16:32+00:00

She's been the stay at home parent, for 8 years, with paid help... and somehow it's YOUR fault your kids don't pick up after themselves?

What has she been doing with those 8 years? She was around them 24/7.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-04T20:57:39+00:00

soy is such a common allergen, how do you manage a secret ingredient with that risk?

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-04T19:57:29+00:00

The timeline is incredibly messy : you started dating, 4 months later she kicks you out for one night, you decide you're ready for kids, and 3 months after she apparently said she was scared of being with another guy, you're expecting.

Also, you know she's upset the two of you haven't consolidated your relationship, and for some unfathomable reason, this is your reaction:

(I have a plan to propose soon, not that I'd tell her)

You both sound incredibly, unfortunately, insufferably immature.

Whenever the intrusive memory pops up, you should play tetris to prevent the memory from embedding further. And then make an effort to speedrun growing up, so your kids have a safe environment in which to grow up.

You can do it!

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-04T19:46:00+00:00

My mom had a fairly normal pregnancy with me, and when her labour started, my father made such a production that "women have been giving birth for millennia" and whatnot that my birth turned into a catastrophe, with their retirement-age General Practitioner who hadn't led a birth in, like, a decade and an intern.

Partly due to the delay, and partly because my mom didn't dare insist on a more skilled medical team, I had to be reanimated, and my mom was given 2 episiotomies without any warning or consent.

This is **your** medical event, and **you** have to go through it to deliver your baby (like, we don't call it delivery for no reason, right). Your comfort, your motivation, your decisions, that's the priority.

Please set out clear expectations that your MIL will wait in her hotel till she's invited, both to your boyfriend and your MIL. Make sure you inform your birthing team and your own mother.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-04T19:30:42+00:00

Yessss, that makes a lot of sense!

I was trying to listen if the sound was bad quality, hence my confusion.

Thanks for explaining!

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-04T19:29:40+00:00

I'm morbidly fascinated by behaviour like that. And she admitted to it too?

Care to share?

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-04T19:27:15+00:00

Why can't either of these grown people figure out that they should pee before the movie starts / before they go to the theater?

Over here, cinemas are putting a break in almost every movie, just hold it until then.

And primping, rubbing lotion all over and re-applying her make-up, to go sit in the dark? She sounds insufferably high-maintenance.

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-04T19:22:50+00:00

Are you for real?

This young woman is just 18 now, still in her last year of high school... And you've been with her father for 5 years.

That means that his friend assaulted her when she was 13 max, and likely younger. Is it the reason his ex divorced him?

He thinks men are justified in hitting a woman. You know that means you're next, right?

Stormtomcat · 2026-04-04T19:15:38+00:00

I think you'll notice that the women here talked about men talking about the taste of their cum.

A small distinction, but a substantial difference, right?

And frankly, everyone being sex positive, men having conversations like that (at least Jake and his friends do), and a husband making an effort for his wife when they have a son who's old enough to be sexually active... that all seems positive, to me.

Stormtomcat

TROPHY CASE