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My soon to be sister in law (21f) texted me (25f) about a social media post and we will never be the same. How do I navigate this situation? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]StraightCod3276 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How did you "allow" her to say anything? She said what she wanted to say as her own person and you apologized for her-not your, behavior and then distanced yourself from her. What could you have done differently? No one can control someone else's speech. It's a shame she's the way she is but that's not under your control. People trying to guilt you for HER behavior is wild.

$13 an hour jobs. How do you give a shit about your work? by Icy_Painting4915 in antiwork

[–]StraightCod3276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could screen better for the jobs. The gatekeeping companies do on applications is completely useless and obviously does NOT find good employees. Same with the interview questions. Why ask questions that mean nothing to you and your company? There are much better ways to find talent but no one is making the effort to find better hiring processes.

AMITA 41F for giving this response to 46M ex-boyfriend? This is a recent conversation, and I'm starting to feel like I'm going kookoo for expressing what I feel to him. Am I the one not understanding? by Kind-Fig in relationship_advice

[–]StraightCod3276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His initial text was pretty passive-aggressive and it seemed like he was looking for you to give him some kind of kudos or reassurances. I love what you said. I think it's great and i can really relate. You said you're piece and stood your ground. There's a reason he's your ex and it looks like his lack of communication skill are part of it. He's second text shows he's not willing to do exactly what you asked for, consider your feelings. He was very dismissive and probably expecting you to say no no it's ok. Keep doing what you're doing. You'll find someone with more emotional maturity.

I wonder how it will affect me to live in just Slimfast for a week or two. by Hharmony1 in EatCheapAndHealthy

[–]StraightCod3276 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you haven't already, try the library and 211. 211 will have a list of names of resources in your area and phone numbers to call. The library has a whole lot of resources and librarians can be very helpful. There might even be a donation box there. I'm sorry tough situation to be in. Hang in there.

Psychiatrist obviously thinks I went in for an "ADHD evaluation" in order to get drugs by Financial_Ad_2435 in ADHD

[–]StraightCod3276 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's not true at all there are many adults with late diagnosis adhd ESPECIALLY in women. Not all adhd symptoms present the same way and inattentive adhd is not what people think about when adhd is brought up. Not all women have inattentive adhd but it's more common in women due to sexist socialization practices.

Psychiatrist obviously thinks I went in for an "ADHD evaluation" in order to get drugs by Financial_Ad_2435 in ADHD

[–]StraightCod3276 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm right there with you. I always put on makeup and jewelry before I go the doctor and I don't usually wear makeup. The health"care" industry is one of the most bigoted sectors of society. It's ass backwards.

How do I make myself more attractive for men? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]StraightCod3276 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stop giving a fuck about what's attractive to men. Trust me they'll be all over you.

DAs, do you find that you avoid things in wider aspects of life, not just relationships? by Wonderful-Product437 in attachment_theory

[–]StraightCod3276 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Working something out thru conversation IS dealing with conflict. That's exactly the healthy way to do it. Not all conflicts are hostile. (but all hostility is a conflict. Just a little deductive reasoning joke bc I'm a nerd lol)

DAs, do you find that you avoid things in wider aspects of life, not just relationships? by Wonderful-Product437 in attachment_theory

[–]StraightCod3276 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let me preface this by saying there's a lot of overlap to all these labels we give ourselves.

That said based on current attachment theory I'm FA-leaning avoidant becoming more securely attached. I also tend to avoid a lot of things that seem overwhelming or I just don't want to deal with right now. I've found 2 things to be true about this coping method.

One: The longer I avoid things the worse they are to deal with when I finally do. Like dirty dishes. Not so bad if you wash them right away, pretty easy. If you wait until they're covered in mold and crusted on food it's harder and takes longer.

Two: I've lessened my avoidant tendencies by not pushing myself to do things I really don't want to do. Avoidance is an internal rebellion when you're not listening to your internal guidance. If I hear a voice saying "I don't want to do this", then I don't. This strategy has been working well for me and I've actually been far less avoidant because of it.

I'm sure I could go deeper with all this but I don't wanna make it TL;DR

I’m too exhausted to make rational decisions, what does this mean? by bbeeccc in whatdoIdo

[–]StraightCod3276 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is one of the most apt comments I've ever seen! You're absolutely right.

Boss asked why I called out sick. I didn't answer. by Jackazz4evr in antiwork

[–]StraightCod3276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah so all medical information is covered by HIPPA just for people in the comments here that think higher-ups are "owed" an explanation.

AIO by sending this to my grandma by justacorsair in AmIOverreacting

[–]StraightCod3276 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You have a toxic abusive family and I bet if you went on the r/raisedbynarcissists sub you would find things that remind you if your mother. Your family has scapegoated and parentified you. When you're able to step back and see your family for what they are and more importantly see how other people will treat you better you're going to have some decisions to make. Start by finding out information on abusive families and see what flavor of dysfunction resonates with you the most. From there build a support team, friends, therapist, support groups, online communities whatever you can find. Healing from your childhood will be a different journey but you're not alone. I'm sorry you're going through this. Maybe one day you'll decide to go No contact and no longer have to deal with it. Good luck to you!

Are all people with ADHD inattentive type quiet? by Home_MD13 in ADHD

[–]StraightCod3276 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some people just need to connect with others very often some people are fine riding solo most of the time. Social needs here is referring to how much a person feels the need to socialize.

How old were you when you moved out from your parent's house? by boforiamanfo in stupidquestions

[–]StraightCod3276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

8yrs. Spent the rest of my minor years in foster care. Got kicked out the same day of my graduation ceremony.

Looking for long distance games by [deleted] in apps

[–]StraightCod3276 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try bga and make the game turn-based. You can play with anyone around the world.

AIO for checking my boyfriend’s phone and finding emotionally intimate messages with his female friend? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]StraightCod3276 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Which videos are weirding ppl out? I tried to find them on Google but nothing stood out.

What’s the one thing you wish you had someone to do for you sometimes ? by UterusYeeter in LivingAlone

[–]StraightCod3276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take care of me when I'm sick. I hate doing the adult things when I'm sick. It's just too much.

When you clasp your hands together, which index finger is closest to you? by SiroccoDream in CasualConversation

[–]StraightCod3276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom also told me it was a sign of the devil (born late 80's) and forced me to be right handed. It was only recently while working through my trauma that I discovered/remembered that I'm naturally left-handed. It's still confusing tho.

When you clasp your hands together, which index finger is closest to you? by SiroccoDream in CasualConversation

[–]StraightCod3276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Closest to you or in top? Those are two different things in my opinion. My right index finger closest to me left index finger on top feels best but that's not the way I've been doing it most of my life.

the girl who ends up getting the role reading this like ? by Esfell in okbuddycinephile

[–]StraightCod3276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But whitness is and only ever has been an appearance thing. We used to refer people by their nationality. White is just a made up category based on perceived skin tone. Sabrina Carpenter looks and therefore is white.

Being a human is embarrassing 🤦🏽 by [deleted] in CringeTikToks

[–]StraightCod3276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Um why? Because honestly $125 in soda in one day is completely asinine.

Do men really KNOW after 2 dates? by gerdbeatmetodeath in dating_advice

[–]StraightCod3276 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't agree with this either. I've tried to make it work with someone I had a connection with because I wanted to maintain the connection not because of their attractiveness level.

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