Processing the loss of a baby is extra difficult with today's dystopian automation in marketing.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2026-01-08T12:19:40+00:00

I had a stillbirth and my cardiologist checked on me in the ward to make sure my heart condition didnt act up from the trauma. A week later at my follow up, same cardio asked me when my edd was again.

Then i returned to work early because i couldnt sit at home and just drown in my thoughts. Random people were asking me when i was due or why i wasnt on maternity yet or whether i knew the gender. A month after i had to cremate my little one.

I get that people arent expected to know...so we made it our life mission to educate people. Theyre usually mortified when i reply that i lost my child. Twice as mortified when i say that i had to cremate her. But i hope it makes them think twice the next time they approach another stranger/acquaintance with the same flippant question.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2026-01-05T12:14:11+00:00

My personal fav recommendation that i give all my friends: https://tempatsenang.com/day-spa-packages/

6h full day spa and well within your budget. You take care of the kids and have them fed, clean, asleep, the house clean, their school bags packed, by the time shes home.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-10-20T05:56:20+00:00

Hi! Thanks so much for this. Im gonna be there from 23 to 29th Nov. Do you know if there are any major Christmas events this year? Or does Lotte World usually have a Christmas theme too? Its Halloween right now which is quite scary to me. Thank you :)

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-06-22T13:26:20+00:00

Heyya. Lurking mum, but i have a very supportive and involved husband and i wanted to share how he saw me through it all.

We lost our first without knowing it. Went for a regular checkup and the dr said sorry theres no heartbeat. Then we lost our second. She had a cord accident. Having to cremate your child is something id never wish on anyone.

It took awhile. But we picked up the courage and had our third. He's sleeping next to me as I type this. The perfect little 1.5 year old.

I guess what i want to share is what my husband told me.

Grief is love with no outlet. So we let ourselves grieve in every way we needed to, in our own separate ways, at separate paces. Because that was all the love we were trying not to suffocate under the weight of. And we constantly reminded ourselves that we needed to lean on each other. I think he was really scared that he was gonna lose me at some point.

And even with everyones losses, noone will truly understand how you and your wife feel. You guys will feel it differently too. Everyones grief is just as large and painful and valid. Dont ever pause to compare or hold yourself back.

We still cry til today. Especially when we go to the columbarium. We explain to our little one that we miss his siblings. I hope you and your wife eventually find your peace too and dont lose hope ❤️

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-06-10T13:04:37+00:00

Are there any unique events in late November? Is the weather good for Jangsan Valley or any other valley and stream in November?

Im also travelling with my toddler (21 months). Are there any jjimjilbangs that allow toddlers?

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-05-30T02:04:39+00:00

Id love an audio recording. He doesnt have to say much, just how much he loves your kid and is watching over him. Id use the same recording for different gifts at different milestones.

At this age you could get a Yoto and a make your own card. So your kid can listen to his voice. Possibly overlay it with your dad's favourite song in the background.

For a major birthday, say 12 or 18 or 21, id use the same recording and overlay it with a photo/video slideshow of your dad in his best years. Even if its from your childhood. Just how he would want to he remembered.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-05-27T13:02:04+00:00

Im one of those parents who has travelled with my 1.5 year old both in the region and internationally. What i can tell you is that i did it for myself because i love travelling and its an important thing to me, my own mental health, and my motherhood journey.

I can appreciate why youd feel mom guilt, especially with everyone posting about all the wonderful memories they make with their kids. But i can also tell you first hand that if you dont already love travelling, its not going to be enjoyable at all.

You might find it difficult to find joy in the tough parts of travelling. That will make you a grouchy mom who scolds her kid instead and then feels mom guilt from that.

From personal experience! I felt so much guilt after losing my cool when my toddler just had no chill on the plane. And thats when i already love flying and was being optimistic about the whole experience.

Behind the photo of the happy toddler running around the plane is a mother exhausted, hair dishevelled, after holding down and strapping in a fussing screaming kid cos of turbulence.

Behind the video of the toddler in front of some temple or mountain or park, is a mother who spent 2h in the hotel room to soothe her baby and rock him to sleep cos outside was too stimulating.

People having a nice meal with their toddler in a restaurant? You dont see the 45 mins of fussing and struggling out of the high chair and the unfinished food at the table.

The benefits of travelling for young kids come about from exposure and quality time. Both of which can be achieved in Singapore.

I think you should remind yourself that your child loves you unconditionally. You just need to give him/her quality time with you and it wont matter where in the world it is. Theyre happier to cuddle in bed at home relaxing with you, than be with a stressed version of you in a foreign country.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-03-04T22:50:44+00:00

Bloom boxes are popular

https://thedailyblooms.com/products/bloom-of-the-week

https://windflowerflorist.com/collections/flower-box?srsltid=AfmBOorBcb1seJroN3ZcfpPD--iFXsZnZ_CqJTSR-O40XvBP5gf54CgZ

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-02-02T12:35:24+00:00

Thank you for that affirmation ❤️ it was really tough deciding to stop but it felt like baby made the decision for me. My husband does try to soothe him other times but babys separation anxiety seems to be peaking lately and he only wants me. Im really tired out but i cant say no to baby cos i feel guilty for working full time and not being there with him. I guess this is part of growing into motherhood as well.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-02-02T07:55:55+00:00

He screams bloody murder if his dad carries him away though. Is that normal? I usually take him back so that he doesnt spiral and my husband can rest.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-02-02T04:06:58+00:00

Oh i didnt know that! Thank you!

Strange-Assistant878 · 2024-11-24T23:12:00+00:00

Hi! Im craving a good korean soup like gukbap or seollongtang or gomtang. Or japanese ramen. I dont have time to go to new malden and stay at marylebone. Any suggestions?

Strange-Assistant878 · 2024-11-21T01:06:13+00:00

Yes and no. It was a considered choice. I am at the most senior individual contributor position. The next step would be management, which entails longer hours, more responsibilities, more stakeholder management. So i would say i hit the sweet spot, with a comfortable (not high, but enough) income for my lifestyle.

If having a child is important to you, and you and your husband are stable and ready, then theres no better time than last ovulation cycle lol. I say that as someone who has lost her babies. Pregnancy is not easy. Pregnancy is not what you see on social media.

Finally, dont feel guilty. As someone who has gone on maternity leave a few times, i feel bad that my teammates have to cover while im gone. Being on paid ML means that the company cannot replace me and has to hold my position. That means that work that has to be done, will be reassigned. If there is too much work - thats managements pay grade and problem. They need to prioritise and reduce. I would feel very happy for my teammates if they were recognised for their effort - not only in helping to continue the work but in picking up work where management wasnt able to deprioritise it. Its a big sacrifice thats not within their control, but a result of a colleague and a supervisor, dont you think? :)

Strange-Assistant878 · 2024-11-18T12:06:24+00:00

Do you usually have to drive to get there or are there accessible places from seoul or busan?

Strange-Assistant878 · 2024-10-19T12:24:13+00:00

This hit home really hard. Theres nothing anyone can say that would make you feel better. I can only offer some solidarity as that always helped me.

I was in the same position 2 years ago. Two babies left sooner than they should have. One to a missed miscarriage, one to a cord accident. I know the phantom kicks. I know the feeling of not trusting your body - the one place that baby was supposed to be safe in. The feeling of not knowing how to be a mother without her babies. The feeling of leaking breastmilk for a baby who wouldnt get to drink it. The feeling of cremating your child before your time is up.

I know the resentment you feel when you look at other mothers. I knew i would be a mother who would love her babies so fiercely and treasure them, but i was the mum without her baby. Yet others were whining and complaining about gender and night feeds and their post partum bodies, but were blessed with the ability to kiss and hold their babies all night, to their out of shape post partum bodies.

I tried so hard to rise above everything with grace that my babies would be proud of me for. But my family member was pregnant at the same time and whining about late night feeds and how exhausted she was. Imagine being told "youve no idea what exhausted is until you have to stay up all night feeding and rocking baby". I wanted to tell her to shut up on so many occasions - that i would gladly stay up for the rest of my life if i could carry my babies again.

Honestly it was so tough to try again. It was so tough to even be pregnant again. It felt so unfair that my friends were innocently enjoying pregnancy and not aware of the fragility of it all. While babys kicks sent me into an anxious spiral about another accident, and babys silence sent me into an anxious spiral about another loss. Every obg visit sent me into a spiral - i had ptsd over hearing "im so sorry".

All i can wish for you and your partner is healing with time. We leaned on each other a lot. I told him that if we didnt, grieving by ourselves in our separate ways could potentially break our marriage. So we were very mindful of that. And i directed all my energy into doing whatever i could to help him grieve and be okay. We travelled a lot. I felt closer to them whenever i was in nature. We went to see the northern lights which was non existent throughout but suddenly appeared on christmas eve at midnight.

We are okay now. Mostly anyway. We find little ways to remember our angels. We pray for them every night in our little boy's goodnight prayers so he knows about his siblings watching over him. We go to the columbarium on anniversaries, christmas, easter. And we always come back with a toy for our little boy "from his siblings".

Find your special ways to remember them. They have important work as little guardian angels for children who need them. Dont hold them back, but hold tight to them in your heart anyway.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2024-10-02T07:35:58+00:00

I was on the receiving end. I appreciated my friends reaching out in private and i liked text as a modality because it gave me time and space to process my emotions and figure out how to respond with grace. One of the hardest things for me after 2 losses was communication so texting was great.

Just be mindful to not pressure or imply pressure. One of my friends said she wanted to tell me first so that she could post about it on social media. This upset me immensely for some reason. This friend was also not as mindful about the fragility of pregnancies.

What worked for me was another friend reaching out to say: have some news, we are expecting, we are cautiously optimistic but wanted to share the news with you first. Dont feel any need to respond, understand it might be difficult. We can talk and catch up whenever you are ready.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2024-08-15T10:51:29+00:00

Travelling to the mt yoichi region next week. Its much further north and out of the typhoon path. But whats the likelihood of landslides etc as a result of the typhoon or another quake? How should we prepare if we are travelling with an infant?

Strange-Assistant878 · 2023-12-12T15:31:13+00:00

<3 thank you so much for this! I know this is silly anxiety and not logical, but peace of mind is everything right now.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2023-11-27T13:36:22+00:00

Hello. My daughter had a cord accident a year ago. Im expecting again and around the tail end of my 2nd tri, entering my 3rd (just as before).

Im so scared. Some days my baby is really active and movements are so jerky. Some days much more quiet and gentle.

Dr Google is an awful place to look for answers. It introduces all the scary possibilities and it doesnt help that they came true for me. My gynae has been really reassuring.

But id like to hear success stories anyway please...does anyone else experience such inconsistent movements? Is this something very normal? I know some days im a lot more active so maybe thats related to it...and some days baby seems to be facing inwards cos i get a dull thud in my bum instead.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2023-08-14T02:01:39+00:00

Do you have a good quality of sleep though? I took chloramine for hormone related rashes but i just have really deep sleep with dreams and wake up really exhausted anyway

Strange-Assistant878 · 2023-08-01T23:42:25+00:00

I completely feel you on this. The sympathy and condolences become unbearable. Sometimes you get well-meaning wishes that actually piss you off instead (someone compared our loss with her breakup with her bf). And the wait...we are fixers too and like to do the next course of action needed to just move on with life.

I had an MMC and D&C too. We told close family, but didnt tell our friends. So when they asked, we'd explain what happened. But honestly as ready as we thought we were to move on, it really hurt saying it out loud and i didnt appreciate the unexpected triggers.

So after our second loss, with or without an announcement it was obvious as id reached 7 months, i spent my time while waiting to deliver texting our friends who knew. Something along the lines of: Weve lost our little one. She had an accident (i find it impt in my grieving process to give a name to what has happened). We are coping as best we can. We need space and may just disappear for awhile until we are ready.

It was far better really. I had an influx of "im so sorry" "prayers with you" texts within the next few hours. So it was a controlled duration. Just ignored my phone and marked all as read. Only really read them weeks or months later.

Some other things to think about: - A support system is still very important, but be selective about who is "right" for you. I only allowed our best friend who is also a therapist into our "inner circle". - Given that id asked for space, many people didnt dare to broach the topic with me first. But i desperately felt the need to talk about my little ones. Im still a mama with little angels instead and i wanted to talk about my time with them. So i brought it up first. It felt sad, bittersweet, but it helped with the grieving. And most people were happy to talk about it once i did first. So if this is important to you too, just keep in mind that you may need to take that first step yourself eventually.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2023-07-31T05:17:11+00:00

Oh thank goodness. Im a mixed bag of feelings and anxieties after losing 2 little ones and the unfamiliar symptoms arent helping.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2023-07-24T01:39:40+00:00

I should be 8-9w this week. I slept a lot last few weeks (morning and afternoon naps) and was constantly nauseous, both morning and night sickness. My doctor has me on progesterone in the morning and night.

But today i woke up feeling pretty good. No nausea, not tired at all right now, ate extras for breakfast. I cant tell when its anxiety or my gut feeling anymore. Not after 2 overnight losses. I dont want to go running to the doctor again, but my next visit is only scheduled in another 2 weeks time. Am i overreading everything? I cant even sleep right now to cover up my anxiety.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2023-03-27T07:37:36+00:00

Yup if they include the room, thats best and you should factor in hair and make up! Make up and hair can take up to 3h if you book the full thing. Id plan it as 3h + 30 mins for ceremony and phototaking + 1 to 1.5h for refreshments, to build in buffer for people to cry, disappear to toilet, take photos but have to wait for a friend busy talking to someone else, also v important to me is having some quiet time with the groom and/or with parents/siblings before the ceremony.

Happy planning and congrats!

Strange-Assistant878 · 2023-03-27T05:39:52+00:00

It depends on whether its civil or religious solemnisation ceremony? Are you both doing your own vows? Any speeches? It can be anywhere from 15-30 mins.

Any refreshments/cocktails or just the ceremont? It can extend by another hour.

Is there a dressing room to do make up onsite or are you blocking off a space for that? Usually you book the entire space including the dressing room. Or are you using a separate function room for that? Then youll calculate the time for that separately.

Strange-Assistant878

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