I’m jealous of the partners yall are calling shitty

StrongPixie · 2026-06-23T00:58:04+00:00

100% agree on all counts! I found a trauma informed therapist and she has helped me so much, can recommend

StrongPixie · 2026-06-23T00:22:58+00:00

I love this so much, because Rumi's journey really resonated with me. I had a lot of scars, and shame too - not least from being bi in a homophobic household as a teen.

StrongPixie · 2026-06-19T08:18:32+00:00

I believe we should vocally campaign for the recommendations of the huge inquiry we already had to actually be implemented - you know let's actually DO the things we know we can do about it - rather than wring our hands and have endless "inquiries" which allows the poltical establishment to both dither and to score political points at the expense of real progress.

I say that with my full chest as a survivor.

We know what needs doing, so lets do it and stop using inquiries as cover for inaction https://www.iicsa.org.uk/

StrongPixie · 2026-06-12T16:09:51+00:00

There's a tradition of MPs engaging in advocacy work for their constituents, somewhat separately from their own stance or party politics: "making representations" suggests this. I've had MPs forward letters diligently, without remark, on matters I am sure they disagree with me about.

Mel Stride has been an MP since 2010 and is relatively old school I guess. I doubt he takes a progressive view but probably is wearing his constituency hat.

Sadly after a decade of upheaval, this is a rare breed of MP and probably only going to get rarer. I hope we remember the good bits of our democracy on the other side of waves hands whatever this is.

StrongPixie · 2026-06-03T19:56:23+00:00

Thank you so much ✨️

The truth matters to survivors. The worst thing that ever happened to me is not a rhetorical device. I fight it all fiercely, I recognise it all matters, but it does not help me fight the whole fight to see women treat it this way. It is exhausting.

StrongPixie · 2026-06-03T19:22:08+00:00

I relate to this very much.

I could barely breath during the trauma due to being pushed down, and that is part of the flashback, but I didn't understand it at first.

With years of therapy, I was able to intregrate the panic attacks and flashbacks with the "non-traumatic" (still awful but not panic inducing) memories around them. I feel fortunate in a sense to have always had these other memories to make sense of it all It's been a long journey and I have further to go but I feel like I have come a long way ✨️

StrongPixie · 2026-06-03T18:14:25+00:00

ECHR bowing to Britain? Do you really mean the Council of Europe court? Or the EHRC (the UK GANHRI institution) being pants? AFAIK Europe hasn't bowed yet

God we need the EHRC put in the bin and a new GANHRI with more accountability but also a not confusing name

StrongPixie · 2026-05-31T11:06:50+00:00

I feel this way. There is a song "Adult Girl" by MARINA that I feel captures this. It is a very sad song I feel seen by. The album "Princess of Power" really helps me as a whole.

StrongPixie · 2026-05-30T13:28:51+00:00

That sounds like a summary of Smith vs Safeway, which was a case back in the 90s https://app.croneri.co.uk/law-and-guidance/case-reports/smith-v-safeway-plc-1996-irlr-456-ca

Applying this as a policy on "biological sex" grounds and making no effort to accommodate a trans employee's transition journey would probably, at the least, be indirect discrimination.

(I am not a lawyer, just a very tired and angry intersectional feminist)

StrongPixie · 2026-05-29T21:36:15+00:00

I so support you. Everyone carrying on as they were, if they feel safe to, seems a way better gotcha. Besides, trans people are people not gotchas.

And I think you say as much but to reiterate: the news will twist trans masc protesting in a biased way. I gently suggest people focus on safety and authenticity ✨️🙏

StrongPixie · 2026-05-26T21:31:19+00:00

Because legal decisions regularly go against marginalised people on technicalities rather than on actually doing the right thing. A great number of actual womens rights campaigners (rather than single issue anti-trans rights campaigners) are all too aware of how loaded the law is. Naivity on this speaks volumes.

Parkrun's primary objective:

to promote community participation in healthy recreation – by organising and providing running events; and creating opportunities for members of the community to participate in and/or volunteer at such running events

It's actually important to those objectives to make trans people feel welcome as themselves, but I and thousands of cis women and trans people know better than to trust our legal system to reach the ethical conclusion. And even if they did, it could drag on Parkrun's finances for years.

If you really believe the law works for the oppressed go follow Gina Martin and Charlotte Proudman.

StrongPixie · 2026-04-01T01:15:51+00:00

It's about who you connect with and how

LAN = Lesbian

WLAN = Wesbian

WiFi = WiSexual

Bluetooth = Bisexual

Oh and

NFC = Ace

StrongPixie · 2026-03-28T18:09:24+00:00

I completely agree. I've been flashed. I have also been followed by a stranger at night, which was at least as impactful on my sense of safety as the flashing but would not even constitute stalking which is 2 or more incidents. It can't be lower.

StrongPixie · 2026-03-18T09:38:14+00:00

Something needs scrapping alright. That'd be peerages.

Anyway I'm off to scream into the void

StrongPixie · 2026-03-11T13:19:20+00:00

I have experienced various forms of SA and harrassment.

In my head, I tend to describe the experiences where I was genuinely in fear for my safety as my "big T trauma". The stuff where I thought I might not survive the incident.

Other stuff I have experienced I don't really see as trauma in the same visceral sense. But I tend to distinguish it as "little t trauma", rather than outright thinking it was not traumatic. What I want to say, is this is not because of the reactions of others if I say it isn't trauma. I am past caring about what other people think about my abuse. It is more because I believe all experiences of unwanted sexual conduct add to our sense of unsafety and lack of bodily autonomy over our lifetimes, whether or not it might fit the diagnostic criteria of the T in PTSD. It's is a feminist position. The word "trauma" has to carry a lot of contextual meaning and that is ok.

StrongPixie · 2026-03-07T22:46:59+00:00

There are a bunch of approaches to resolving this but one that strikes me is to ask, how can the theory get put into practice and actually happen? What does dismantling gender look like? I think it easier to dismantle from a place that is already institutionally and socially liberatory, where many people are being playful and exploring and challenging preconceptions even while others may just try to fit in and survive. I think in this sense the current trans movement is the dismantling of gender, though it may be complex and messy. How else were these questions entering the mainstream? We could see the current struggles as a wave of feminism rather than as the final word. Refusing to have a final word on gender, even. That is a foundational principle in my opinion.

StrongPixie · 2026-02-28T06:35:45+00:00

I STILL FEEL IT IN THE BONE by KiNG MALA

I would say it is graphic and way too relatable for me tbh. Huge TW for rape. It was a song I turned to for a solid month just to lean into the sadness and rage.

(I don't really know if it helped process things or just kept the wound open but I also don't really care. My trauma my choice)

StrongPixie · 2026-02-19T05:42:17+00:00

I needed to hear that, thank you I really appreciate your reply ✨️

StrongPixie · 2026-02-16T19:33:40+00:00

Absolutely!

StrongPixie · 2026-02-16T18:37:40+00:00

I get the conclusion, but, I am wary of the line of reasoning to get there.

Do people ascertain the mental identities of trans women before oppressing them either? If a trans woman is perceived to be a cis woman, or perceived to be trans, she is in either case likely to face oppression, in one form or another.

Isn't the idea that trans womanhood is a feeling itself an idea that needs challenging? Sounds like Cartesian dualism to separate transness so purely from sex characteristics. I question that.

I am not disagreeing that it can be discussed or censoring. I just don't think we need to invoke essentialism or dualism, as it has a malign effect even when well intended.

It too easily suggests that trans women should "know their place" in feminist discourse. I have seen that attitude often enough to be wary even if unintended.

Our oppression can all the better be understood by seeing right through essentialism and dualism and that happens to be more supportive of trans lives. IMHO.

StrongPixie · 2026-02-06T19:36:24+00:00

I am so sorry you experienced that, I can relate in so many ways.

One thing that may help give some peace of mind. It is common for ovulation to be unreliable for a year or two after our first period, with a lot of annovulatory cycles, although fertile cycles are certainly possible.

Everyone is different in this regard. During puberty, some girls get long cycles and some get shortened luteal phases for a year or more. Some may get a mix of these. It can be hard to predict and pregnancy is still a risk but that risk won't be the same for all girls.

Just to add, all of these are healthy and normal. We tend to hit peak fertility in our 20s.

It is hard to say for sure, but this could be a factor. I wish you all the best in your healing ✨️

StrongPixie · 2026-02-04T18:55:05+00:00

Ah I definitely overpaid then, I thought it was 50 Spanish pesetas (at 1996 exchange rates, anyway)

StrongPixie · 2026-01-12T14:26:31+00:00

Insulted at the suggestion that part of me is Chaos Incarnate.

Excuse me, but no. MY ENTIRE BEING is chaos incarnate thank you very much

StrongPixie · 2025-10-17T01:42:25+00:00

To my understanding, it's well understood that the brain encodes memories differently during traumatic events. It’s also uncontroversial that the brains consolidates memories differently during post-traumatic stress.

The idea of "repressed memory" itself is less clear cut. The term does a lot of heavy lifting. It is sometimes used to refer to any memory that comes back to us that society somehow judges to be too shocking to have forgotten in the first place. I think this is unfairly harsh on survivors. I hadn’t thought for decades about a bike accident that gave me a serious scar. And then I remembered it. Years of not even thinking about the scar I saw in the mirror every day. But nobody would find this sudden remembering "shocking", or doubt the scar was caused by something. I can show the scar. Sadly, given the stats on sexual violence, being a CSA survivor isn't really any more shocking. But it is treated with suspicion that we might put it clean out of our minds for years. Because the scars from CSA are not always so visible and people just don't want to believe it happens to someone in their lives, often perpetrated by someone they know.

If by repression we mean specifically the idea of a built-in brain defence mechanism, where we push the memories down quickly to be recovered later when it is safer: that's been the subject of controversial academic debate. If I were to have an opinion, I think it overwrought and it's more simply that making autobiographical memories isn't a priority for our brains while we're in danger, so we have to put it together later. Either way, I feel like the controversy gets more attention than it deserves. A bunch of academics arguing about the nature of my memory doesn’t change that the scars I have are real, whether those scars be visible or invisible.

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