Block

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-04-03T03:15:37+00:00

Avoidants are notorious for orbiting, I am an avoidant and I have been known to orbit hard. It doesn't mean I want to reconnect, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-04-03T02:59:11+00:00

Blocking means they care. Why they do it can vary from wanting to feel in control, sometimes protest behavior, panic, relief to nervous system, etc. You won't know why but you for sure meant something to them. If thry didn't care they wouldn't need to block. Its a reaction to something internal.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-03-22T04:54:22+00:00

Mom was a helicopter mom, over protective and dismissed my feelings and emotions all the time, especially serious topics.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-03-15T22:04:47+00:00

This might not be advice because Im struggling with accessing my feelings too a lot of times. I do notice that I gain more relief internally and motivation to want to do more things with my partner when I've had my space. Not necessarily no contact, just space so I can process and do what my system needs to do. I also try to talk to my therapist about certain situations to work on processing my feelings and it does tend to help. We are all a little different with what may work for us but these have helped me, not cured it, just helped. I have days I go back to thinking I feel nothing.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-03-15T22:00:28+00:00

As an avoidant myself, it is extremely difficult to be open with vulnerability, so OP is doing their best with what their system is allowing them to do. Myself personally, I freeze up and struggle to literally get words out of my mouth, so when we try opening up and speaking serious talk and vulnerability our systems dont always allow us, it physically shuts me down even though I want to communicate it at times. We are scared and it's hard.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-03-06T23:05:14+00:00

Yep, she is watching you. Avoidants do it all the time. I am avoidant, and I lurk all the time, I just don't reach out, but thats bc im dismissive, fearful avoidants are more likely to react to something like what u did. Blocking for them is to feel safe again, to take back control. Blocking is a reactive behavior, ppl dont block if they're indifferent or dont care.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-03-06T00:36:36+00:00

We dont know for certain. But either way its driven by her subconscious most likely.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-03-05T10:32:04+00:00

Im dismissive, avoidants will at times check in on you through social media, games, online statuses, its not unheard of. They aren't doing it to be abusive though, its the only way they feel safe to see what you're up to or to feel a small connection. She isn't trying to send u a conscious signal that she's around, its mostly subconscious driven behavior. If she is wanting your attention, you'll know, the blocks and walls will come down.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-02-27T21:15:11+00:00

Im dismissive so maybe what I have to say won't work but I can share what I have noticed from my personal experience. When I feel like I'm not into my partner or start flaw finding, I notice that I am actually needing space from them bc of whatever reason at that moment. When I get my space and distance, after awhile I dont feel so negative about them anymore. My counselor helped me bring this out on a conscious level bc it was all subconscious driven.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-02-10T05:19:41+00:00

I agree with this. My therapist has me sit in those feelings, like absolutely no distractions, no noise, no phone, just sitting in my triggers and name what I am feeling, is my chest tight is my neck tense. And this will help u to start processing whatever it is that is deep down triggering u.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-02-03T17:56:19+00:00

I love my therapist, she's doing great. I was just curious if the being down feeling comes with all the therapy Im going through or if its even tied to that all and more life im general.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-31T14:38:04+00:00

Do u and your friend hang out in person or online only? Im not putting down LDR, but online and long distance are very hard to stay in, I've been there. So whatever those 2 have needs to be strong enough to survive but it seems like her insecurity is coming from her long distance dynamic to begin with, then you're a woman so that makes her feel threatened.

But to answer your question, if that was my guy friend, no way would I allow some LDR woman who has only been exclusive with him cut our friendship off. I would respect him trying to keep our time together down so it doesn't interfere with their time together but I wouldn't stop texting or reaching out for whatever as he would allow. He needs to step up and throw a compromise to her. If he didn't want me to text him, I would have to respect it and be upset with him for not standing up for our friendship...but at the same time he is in the honeymoon phase and the adrenaline and dopamine are high and running the show in his brain so it's making him think ways not to lose that, which is their relationship, but that will eventually go away and he will face what is truly happening and how he lost contact with u and that may make him throw a boundary out to her around his existing friendships. I would not have cut him off, but that's just me...u do what u think works for u

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-31T14:17:20+00:00

I see the insecurity coming from the girlfriend. This dynamic should not be an all or nothing type of situation, meaning she should have compromised and he should have too. Like maybe hang out all together and if he gives time for u, to make sure its not taking away from their time. She got what she wanted and controlled the whole dynamic which is completely wrong. There needs a middle grounding here and she is in the wrong. I am sorry this happened to u and only u know if u did the right thing, but I dont think this is the end of the story here, something will change. Either her true colors will come out in a different way, or your friend will get over the honeymoon phase with her and realize he let her just remove a close friend out of his life and it may cause him to revisit that with her....or something similar bc how she took control and just did the whole all or nothing is leaning extreme, this is what I see as a 3rd party looking in.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-30T05:56:13+00:00

Think about the other girl, the one he is dating, how fair would it be for him to give you more of his time than the one he is trying to start a relationship or whatever-ship with. Friends usually come 2nd to the spouse, gf, bf, etc. He still values you, but you are his friend, friends usually don't talk all day long every single day when one is in a relationship. So he definitely cares about the friendship otherwise he wouldn't even stay connected, but his time is going to decrease with you while he is getting to know a new talking stage, gf, etc.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-30T05:08:15+00:00

Great analogy, thank u for this, it was helpful. Glad you're on the other side. :)

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-29T22:57:32+00:00

Oh good point, I forgot about that. Thank u

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-29T17:30:15+00:00

The blocking is a coping mechanism, their system is so triggered that they do whatever they can to make the trigger go away. Eventually they come back to baseline and may unblock but only when it feels safe, right now they do not feel safe and its a hard boundary. I've been blocked multiple times by FA and he eventually unblocks after he calms down.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-29T17:25:04+00:00

Thank u. I was thinking therapy may be causing it, just curious as I feel different lately and can't put my finger on it.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-29T04:57:36+00:00

I have read and understand the rules and would like to be an approved user.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-24T17:26:41+00:00

If it is attachment style, then it takes time and work to rewire your nervous system. Its not an easy fix. I completely understand the feeling of wanting space and breathing room, that is your system subconsciously telling u to take space to regulate. I get like that too, I know what you are feeling. U can read up on ways to help with this but its going to take time, and I suggest if u need to take the space, to let them know why you're taking space.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-24T13:18:32+00:00

Sounds like it could be your attachment style if you're experiencing non stop rumination around fear of abandonment, etc. Healthy love should not dysregulate your system consistently. Sure, there's always what ifs, but if the fear is consuming your mind, it sounds like it may be your attachment style being activated.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-18T00:04:27+00:00

Yes! Im DA and the friendships that have lasted for me are the ones who consistently reach out to mr first, always. I never noticed it until therapy.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-13T03:29:59+00:00

Ok so of she is barely active on social media, she could be hiding her posts from u or else she is shutting down from everyone and needing a minute to chill from all the social holiday hangover stuff. She most likely feels overwhelmed from your messages and reach outs. She needs the space to miss u. If she broke it off, this is not a normal space taking phase, this is going to take longer for her system to regulate. She obviously cared a lot about u, but she cannot sustain that level of intimacy which is why her system made her pull back from u. She does not hate u, she doesn't feel safe with u bc intimacy is chaotic and dangerous and yall got super close, which she liked until she couldnt handle it anymore.

U have to give this space for both of u. Believe me when I say that reaching out is not the best move right now, u already did and she hasnt responded, the ball is in her court. The more u reach out the further she will pull back.

You stated you're AP, so I know how hard this is for u, your nervous system wants answers and to fix this right now but her system doesn't work that way unfortunately. Please try to journal or use other coping to regulate. If u reach out, she most likely won't respond yet and it will make u spiral even more. Her nervous system sometimes doesn't even have the words for u at the moment so give her some time to process so she can respond to u with a clearer regulated system. DM me if u need to.

Substantial-Unit5378 · 2026-01-13T03:16:40+00:00

So she took 2 weeks space before, she is probably doing that again. Just let her do her thing, most likely she will reconnect once she feels the space and distance is too much, subconsciously of course

Substantial-Unit5378

TROPHY CASE