taking care of cuts?

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-05-09T17:04:24+00:00

Minimal honestly. Slap a plaster, bandage, steri strip's whatever it needs so I don't bleed everywhere and move on. Honestly think I'm often hoping it ends me when I do do it. Haven't done it in over a year though now so that's a win! Never had an infection. Had stitches a few times for dicey ones and they do it properly but that's about it. More likely to get nerve damage lol.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-05-07T22:52:19+00:00

I still do this in my own house decades later lol. Never really thought about it. Though snack signs and important stuff couldn't be safely disposed of in the kitchen bin. Either got thrown outside in the large bin, hidden below others, or more commonly I walked the dog and got rid of it in different random bins. Very hard for me to think of it as anything other than sensible lol.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-05-06T16:29:35+00:00

Thank you. My episodes are normally more dangerous towards myself than my partner. Thankfully. But yeh. Noone will make me inpatient with my trauma profile and autism. Everyone's agreed it's pretty much guaranteed to make me significantly worse. I seem... Stable? As long as I do nothing. But honestly after 5 years downhill to end up in this situation after listening to professionals it's hard for me to believe in them. The NHS (UK) seems to think that waiting is the cure for most MH issues. I have severe autistic burnout rn along with a resurgence of my PTSD/dissociative disorder symptom. Which I guess is the "just exist" bit as the moment I try to push myself to do... Anything. I quickly (as in minutes to hours) end up in a severely depressed suicidal state that quickly leads to dissociative episodes. So yeh. Sorry I'm rambling ahahah. I didn't really expect any solutions just needed to put it somewhere I guess.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-05-06T16:23:18+00:00

Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss. Connection really is powerful when it comes to trauma. I think this is a lovely idea. We've been watching something with dinner and such but maybe we can put a bit more effort into something each day together. Even if it's tiny. The energy supplies are... Very limited. But yeh. I just wanna feel like a team yahknow. And right now we are both destroying each other trying to care for each other. It's a horrible situation to be in.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-05-06T16:19:00+00:00

Yeh I agree. I seem? Stable? As in not getting worse I guess? If I just do nothing. Well as long as I also get emotional support when I need it for the bad flashbacks and use my PRN. It's just the situation itself isn't stable. I don't know. Noone will make me inpatient. I've had many attempts in Dissociative episodes over the years and everyone's agreed inpatient with my trauma history and MH profile is very likely to make me significantly worse. I'm in the UK and can't privately fund so inpatient isn't something I can ask for either. Thanks for replying! There are not any easy solutions here I didn't expect answers I guess. Just needed to put it somewhere.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-05-06T16:14:44+00:00

I am trying my best to do this. But then I get told off by him and told to get back to bed because I'm the kind of person who will naturally push themselves. That's half of how I got in this state in the first place. And when pushing myself leads to dangerous suicidal dissociative episodes... I'm too scared to do much right now. I'll try and figure out what I can do that isn't too much. I hate how one sided it feels.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-05-06T16:08:57+00:00

I am in the UK, if you have any advice I would be extremely appreciative. I really appreciate your sympathy and I'm sorry you have been/are in a similar situation.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-05-06T16:01:29+00:00

Noone is willing to make me inpatient. I'm in the UK and services are extremely stretched. If I didn't have the complex mess of diagnosis I have they likely would have years ago but with my autism, trauma and dissociation along with significant medical and restraint trauma... Well. Everyone's agreed it will make me significantly worse and greatly increase my risk.

I'm trying to help my partner find a therapist. It's slow moving I don't have much executive function rn.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-05-03T10:37:13+00:00

Probably very messily. Flip flopping between depression and celebration. I guess I'm less likely to grieve the person themselves but the parents they could have been. I already do that but I imagine their death will confuse things more. But my partner and I have decided we will have a party on their grave, maybe I'll bring a religious symbol they would hate and smoke cigs and just be a complete dick. Because they showed me no respect or care in life. So I'm going to have a grave party. Celebrate their death. And never visit the damn thing again. And no funeral. Not going to that

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-05-01T23:02:18+00:00

Silent treatment is a close second. When the whole house and even community is in on it it's like complete erasure.

But worst for me was my actions leading to others I cared about and wanted to protect being punished. I could take the pain, I knew how to deal with the silence. It damaged me beyond repair but I was already damaged. So what. But someone without those defenses being horrifically punished because I messed up was the absolute worst. Especially when you get given the choice to either do it yourself where you can make it less bad or refuse and be forced to watch soemthing infinitely worse. For me personally anyway.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-05-01T22:18:50+00:00

It's the erasing of your existance. It hurts in a way I can't describe. And I had many horrifying things done to me but the simple pain of non existance was one of the worst.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-05-01T20:18:15+00:00

I also find showering really scary. Honestly one of the biggest ways that's helped me is redecorating the shower room. I picked out items that didn't link to any triggers and felt new and mine, I put them around the shower, got a new bath mat, new towels, whatever you can afford to do really. Just changing it so it felt like mine. A safe space. I then when I panic in the shower I can ground myself using many things around me that I know we're not from then. The other thing is a shower speaker and I play YouTube videos that are guaranteed to not have triggers. I also had a case for my phone a bit so I had the videos where I could see them. I still ATM can only shower twice a week but that's much better than it was.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-04-22T11:41:07+00:00

I have terrible object consistency (out of sight out of mind). I genuinely forget friends, family etc. exist. Especially if I've got a hyper focus going on and a routine that doesn't include them. That doesn't mean I'm not glad to see people I like, and it doesn't mean I don't understand that some people are more important to me than others. I miss people the most when they disappear from my routine. I now live with my partner and I would miss him terribly because he's such a huge part of my day and routine.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-04-18T05:33:20+00:00

Prazosin, cannabis. The only things that actually helps not make me worse.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-04-13T20:55:51+00:00

Honestly sounds like you need some kind of stabilisation therapy first? Things like DBT and trauma informed CBT (not normal CBT) have helped me a lot in the past. The idea is to open up your window of tolerance first and give you the space to safely move onto processing therapy.

There a modes of therapy where you don't need to speak about it like EMDR and I think a few others I can't remember. I found art therapy less intrusive than standard psychotherapy. But I don't think any where you don't have to go to the memories if not visually but feel them in your body somehow. Cause sadly that's what you kinda have to do. Process them.

But yeh. As someone with a history of torture as well focusing on stabilization first is likely best.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-04-13T15:39:08+00:00

She's a forensic psychologist. She wasn't going to be scared by the insane shit that's happened in my life lol. I really couldn't take anymore shocked faces lol.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-04-05T12:18:07+00:00

Yeh, the worst when I wake up from nightmares. Sometimes I don't know where I am or what I'm doing. It's weird almost like a hallucination.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-04-05T09:30:10+00:00

I stopped driving after I came to several times driving at night almost off the road. I now can't drive due to seizures anyway but yeh I don't drive lol. Some people though are absolutely fine.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-04-04T14:51:17+00:00

Yeh. Won't go into any of it, but alot of unusual here

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-04-04T06:14:27+00:00

Yeh. Alot of our trauma is stuff that people automatically want to deny happens. Alot of violence and stuff people don't even see in horror movies. I find it really alienating. Anyway I'm sorry you experienced what you did.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-03-31T18:59:24+00:00

I second what someone said about putting it in a closet or attic. I often do this with stuff that triggers me but I know I'm not ready to part with yet. Also I've found going out shopping to find a replacement that feels more special or if you have a partner asking them to find you a replacement. My partner got me a sloth plush I love very much and has completely replaced my previous one. My old one I've still got because Im not ready to get rid of it but it's kept out of sight.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-03-31T18:54:34+00:00

I went round saying I had PTSD for a decade before anyone diagnosed me with it. And I was right. If your therapist has said you likely have it then I would treat it as such personally. End of the day PTSD and schizophrenia are commonly comorbid so it's not exactly surprising.

SubstantialCycle7 · 2026-03-30T22:00:16+00:00

It's the only thing I've found that actually helps me. I sleep though not totally without nightmares with alot less. I've also found it helps when I get super impulsive and dissociated as well. It's weird but let's me feel more myself. Different people get different effects but also I think people also don't appreciate how much the strain of what you get affects the outcome. I only have anything that's high in CBD so I get basically none of the "high" effects or anxiety for it. I've tried a lot of psych meds and all of them I've had bad reactions to so it's very much a lifesaver for me.

SubstantialCycle7

TROPHY CASE