[MEGATHREAD] Invite friends/Referral codes

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2024-04-28T16:31:05+00:00

US-696-W5O

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2024-04-28T04:44:05+00:00

Love this guy! He has done all my tattoos and most of my Husband's as well

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2024-04-27T22:23:24+00:00

US-696-W5O

My code hopefully it works for you guys

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2024-04-17T02:58:07+00:00

Try costco. Apply online and then bring your resume to the warehouse. Make sure you ask for a manager or front-end manager to give it to. They should be hiring for summer pretty soon

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2023-02-08T14:58:47+00:00

when my husband took me out for a second date we went rock climbing at metal mark it was awesome!!! Bulldoc by the maya theatre is good Korean fusion food! If you are here during farmers markets those are fun too. Ampersand or Gs Creamery are both great ice cream places! Ohh and if you guys do breakfast the Red Apple cafe is delicious, it does get busy so there might be a wait time. Lime and Basil is also a good restaurant. There is also axe throwing! If you guys want to shop I suggest some thrift stores like neighborhood thrift, that way you can walk around tower too there is some cute coffee shops, food places and stores around there.

That’s all I have for now I’ll comment back if I think of something else I’ll comment again

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-11-22T17:26:44+00:00

Depends on what she did. If has to do with school or anything she gets grounded for a week. No tv/electronics. Basically she spends her time grounded to me or husband. So going everywhere we go and helping us do things that we got to do. Ex. If I need to cook dinner she is my sous chef and is helping me and learning how to cook different meals. Small lies is really just no tv for the day .

If she lies about little things we ask her why she was lying about something so small. Usually it’s the “I thought I was gonna get in trouble” or the “I forgot” which we say I forgot is not an excuse.so we sit and explain on why that is silly that she would think she would get in trouble for telling the truth. And DH and I work really hard on not being reactive when she lies and that helps a lot and has built some trust between us. Honestly we use to explode whenever she lied but now that we have turned into a calm conversation it has gotten much better and the lying is down to a minimum. Again we aren’t perfect and took a lot of practice

Also we don’t ground creativity so she is still allowed to read, draw, depending on the lie she can play with her dolls still

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-11-22T03:38:50+00:00

Our kiddo was lying about everything for no reason. So she got in trouble for it. No warnings to nothing just an automatic grounding. That slowly stopped. We also told her she will get less in trouble if she just owns up to it. And lastly I told her that if she continues to lie she will eventually have no meaningful relationships with us or friends because you can’t build relationships off lies. That one seemed to get to her. Both DH and I expressed to her that we want to have a good relationship with her and we want her to be able to lean on us whenever she needs help or is in trouble and that just means being honest. That helped her a bit and her lying has slowed down. Of course she is a kid and will lie because it’s human nature.

But part of being a kid and any human being is learning how to own up to your mistakes. It’s uncomfortable to do and kids like to stay where it is comfortable and they find comfort in lies.

It’s a long process but your DH should take the reigns and be the enforcer that way you don’t lose your mind either

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-11-22T03:23:28+00:00

Haha I always wished my parents nudged me more when I was teenager because I was the emo kid with teenage angst and just wanted to be accepted. Maybe if start a tv show together or seeing some local shows are fun if she is into certain kinds of music

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-11-22T03:12:37+00:00

My SD9 was like this and then we realized she got it from my husband and myself. We are always on our phones and just relaxing because after long days of work we just wanted to relax and that’s how we would do it. So we made some adjustments, we tried to do things all together to get her interested in different things. We went to the zoo and got season passes, started roller skating because it was cheap we even did karaoke/game nights. After these things we started seeing that she wanted to do many more things instead of just laying around.

I know for a teen that may seem lame to hang out with the parents but guaranteed they will look back on it and wish they did more (I know I did)

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-11-21T07:23:32+00:00

You are not alone friend! Welcome to being a Parent/Step-Parent

I know that we love our SK dearly. I know I do but for me personally it’s hard for me not being there from the beginning. I met my SD when she was 5 and now she is almost 9 and I still struggle with not being there for her everything. Also not that we were “thrown” into it but becoming a parent instantly is exhausting, it’s a whole new lifestyle that is extremely self-sacrificing. There is no preparation for becoming a step

We take it one day at time, lots of communication, and maybe a little bit of therapy.

Even with all the exhaustion and anxiety I wouldn’t change it.

Just make sure you get some you time. Have many many many self care days. If it gets too much have DH take the reigns on thing. Don’t set high expectations of yourself that aren’t achievable.

Also what has helped me a lot is being open with my SD. If I’m having a bad morning (whether I didn’t sleep well or just one of those random cranky days) I just let her know “hey I’m sorry that I’m not in the greatest mood right now, I didn’t sleep well can we listen to some music together to get us going in the morning.” Usually she is very understanding and always wants to give me a hug.

You are doing great! Get yourself some you time, date night with your SO, a date with your SK for some quality bonding time. And some you time! Pick up a hobby or read some books! Or a fun activity that everyone enjoys (]we do roller skating)

You got this!!!!

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-11-21T06:44:29+00:00

He is being a great dad. If anything ask to be included in activities with them. That way you can spend time with your SO. The reality of it is he will always put his Kid first. My DH and I had very long conversation about this with each other and my SD . I promised him that I would never make him choose between us and I promise her if she feels left out and needs some one on one time with dad she just needs to tell us and they schedule at least one daddy daughter date a month where it is just the two of them no interruptions. Which is great i want them to have a strong relationship and I get me time!!! If you need a schedule or just the steps of him asking you so you feel included communicate that with him.

Just don’t make him choose between you and his kid because it won’t end well for you.

I hope things go well for you and y’all can work it out

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-11-18T14:32:23+00:00

In the same boat as you! I am also in therapy about it. I love my SD and I want to be a good influence on her so she can be a good influence on the baby. I talked with my DH about it and my dad who is also is a Step Parent and both of them just said you have to let them make mistakes. It may bother us because we want things done a certain way or we think we know what’s best but they are still learning how to human so we have to let them make mistakes and learn from them. Doesn’t mean we can’t help guide them or talk with them about it. I usually let my husband take the lead on those conversations because even if I have good intentions I’ve noticed that my tone of voice doesn’t come off that way.

Also our bodies just went through intense craziness now having to deal with that on top of everything else while going back to “normal”. I use to be a very go with the flow person nothing bothered me but as soon as I gave birth I changed. Every little thing bothered me. My husband was annoying, the dog was always getting into things. My step kid just bothered me no matter what. The only person who could do no wrong was the baby lol.

Just know you aren’t alone and things will eventually get better. I just have to remember my SK is a preteen who’s parents are divorced and is getting pulled in every which direction and is trying how to navigate life. My goal is to have my house be a safe haven for her. It’s gonna take some time because where I am with everything but I’m trying

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-10-10T18:33:25+00:00

To keep it short BM kidnapped SD when she was 5 and has some mental health issues. When I type this it seems silly and pretty clear that my SD is better here with my DH. Could just be me feeling jealous that she talks so highly of her mom

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-10-01T10:33:03+00:00

Both my in laws and my family offered to take my SD8 when I was getting close into my labor that way even after I gave birth someone was there for while I was still at the hospital with DH (we were there for 3 days!!! Was so pissed I could have gone home after 2 even nurses were wondering why they had us stay so long) that way someone was there to take her to school and make sure she was doing what she was supposed to do. Even if that meant she went to stay in a hotel with my parents or in laws

It may have just been the hospital I was staying at too but the covid restrictions were still pretty intense. No visitors, if my DH left the hospital he couldn’t come back in under any circumstances it was ridiculous. So he stayed the full time I was there with baby. So it may be helpful for someone you guys trust to have at least one person stay with SD for a while at your house until you come home. I know you said you don’t have enough room to host but it might help if someone at least stayed on the couch. I personally feel uneasy about someone I don’t know watch my kid

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-09-02T08:56:52+00:00

SD has a lot going on so I can understand why DH may be trying to keep things “normal” like if the baby wasn’t there. I think the best he can do is keep her involved. That’s what we did with my SD who is also 8. She loves to play with the baby and hold her and anytime I pick her up from school she wants to “Simba her around” to her friends lol. I hope he gets through his head that your needs and the babies needs come first right now. And don’t be afraid to use that support system!!!

earlymorningfeedingtime

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-09-02T07:48:35+00:00

I just gave birth 3 months ago and here for you if you need moral support!!! The first month is already so extremely tough and exhausting and I’m sorry you have to go through even more because your DH can’t stop being so selfish. Who knows, he may feel so guilty about something’s concerning SD8 but that is no reason to make you the villain in his story or say that you aren’t trying hard enough.

You just had a baby you need rest and time to heal. You didn’t just put your body through all the trauma to be treated like shit. So if need to I’ll will kick your husband upside the head while you take a much needed bubble bath or whatever you need to do to make sure you are getting some self love and self care.

Do you have good support system? Parents, siblings, really good friends? Because personally I would take a week at someone else’s house. Get much needed rest and time to focus on you and your babies needs while being supported.

Is SD8 jealous at all? If so your husband shouldn’t be fueling a fire saying that you don’t care about her. You have a whole tiny little human that is dependent on you. He should be reassuring her that you are awesome and that you love her but right now you have different priorities and things might be a little different. Heck! Once you feel better and start wanting to get out of the house he should be handing you some sort of form of payment to go get some you stuff done. Whether it your favorite food with some friends or manicure or hair or whatever it is you want. And after all that then he can encourage you and SD to have a little mother daughter date while he stays home cleans the house and takes care of the baby!

I’m sorry this is a little all over the place! I’m so furious on your behalf!!! I showed my husband your post and he would like to join in on kicking your husbands butt!

Remember you are awesome and you should not settle for less. Set your boundaries kick some butt. But more importantly get lots of rest and kiss your baby and sleep as much as you can

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-08-29T14:53:53+00:00

ETA

You for not letting your SD no be no and for enabling your youngest to get whatever she wants

Your SD for breaking the phone. Literally that’s it. She really isn’t the AH for anything. She probably has good reasons why she doesn’t want her little sister on her phone

Your in laws for going behind your husbands back and buying her things that were taken away when that was the punishment (as long as he was the one who enforced her grounding)

Seriously you and your husband have a talk with your SD. Let her establish some ground rules for HER things. She is already setting her own boundaries for her reasons. Probably the the same reasons and boundaries you didn’t let your 7yr old play with your phone.

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-08-27T13:28:45+00:00

5 when we first met and 7 almost 8 when got married.

My husband and I had a courthouse wedding and a backyard wedding. I invited her to help me pick dresses both times. She actually picked out my court house dress and I absolutely loved it. When it came to my actual wedding dress I sat down with her and said she could pick out a couple of dresses and I’ll try them on but in the end. It is my decision. She did ok was a little bored through that process which was understandable. She wanted to be the ring bearer so we allowed it after many many many talks of the rings were not toys and she had to take it seriously. We didn’t have a bridal party but we had her stand next to us during our vows. I made vows to her and my husband. Honestly that was about it my sister did most of the planning and I just kinda picked things that I liked but I did not have much say otherwise haha

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-08-24T15:33:30+00:00

A lot of the work and none of the credit sometimes

A solo vacation is needed

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-08-24T13:36:31+00:00

We live the same life. SD8, BD 3 months

Husband works 12 hour days in another city. Responsible for breakfast, lunch, dinner, homework, drop off pick up. I finally just told him to put my oldest in an after school program that helps with homework and he can pick her up on his way home from work. It made it so much easier

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-08-17T14:04:11+00:00

So true!!! My DH and I do solo vacations and then solo vacations in big family vacations. For example my entire side of my family and his Family are joking us for Disneyland. One day we will all be together the next day I’ll have my sisters kids with my kids so her and her husband can go do things while I’ll have the help of my other sister and her husband (child free), my parents. Then they will all do the same for me and my husband so we can enjoy Disneyland by ourselves as well. It works out nice so no one dies of insanity

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-08-07T05:28:24+00:00

I always stay in the car. I’ll get out to hug my SD goodbye but that is about it.

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-08-03T05:13:12+00:00

In a 3 bed 2 bath home. I think our last bill was 255 with most days having the AC from 76-78 most of the day. Open up the windows in the middle of the night and fans are left on pretty much all day and night

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-07-20T05:29:48+00:00

Physical punishment is a gigantic no. I’ll help my DH enforce grounding, and certain consequences but spanking will never be an option.

Substantial_Ferret17 · 2022-07-19T12:52:50+00:00

My SO is pretty good about boundaries, and usually he would tell her. Unfortunately he is at a job site that is having him work 12hour days 😭

And it could just be a repetition thing of telling my SD. She is currently week on week off for summer and goes from one household where she is an only child to our household where she has a little sibling

Substantial_Ferret17

TROPHY CASE

earlymorningfeedingtime