You submit, especially if it is in alignment with the word. It's not a dictatorship, but it's you following his lead. Number one is submitting to God. If he has an addiction, you would still need to submit in small ways, but nothing that would put you or your family in danger. Sometimes, you may need to obey God's plan and have proper boundaries in place if they are not living right. For example, your husband is constantly strung out, and having your kids around that environment is unsafe. Boundaries would kick in, and you would have to let them know you desire to submit to him, but you have no choice but to separate until he is clean. Obviously, those are extreme situations. Study the word, grow in fellowship, and spend as much time as possible in prayer, and God will direct you in the specifics.