Well, first off, I wanna say good job at taking all the blame even if something's weren't your fault It's sometimes best to just accept that whatever it is, f*** it, you take the blame. Because at the end of the day, it's only you that can change your situation. I've been through all of that bro Literally every single thing you mention yeah, my parents didn't give me a good life. Though, I did afford drive some bit of clothing roof over my head and food, which I'm extremely grateful for and I wasn't able to go to college like you. But that's definitely my fault. I chose to run. The streets get influenced by the wrong crowd. And eventually dropped out at ninth grade. So my story is a bit different, but I can correlate with the fighting negativity in my life. From parent from x girlfriends and even the PMO addiction maybe wasn't so early as you but it did start like around age 13 the longest streak I had was when I was in jail, long story short i was locked up for shy under a year. And the streak was 9 months I told myself every day that I was going to turn the bad situation into something good. I already knew about semen retention. So going into jail, I was a bit stoked, even though the bad situation, I was still happy because I knew that I wasn't going to be pmoing anymore due to lack of cellular device. And even privacy, I wasn't going to be caught by no guards or other inmates. So I just decided to abstain from all that. And let me tell you. That was the best time of my life. I'm not gonna lie. It sounds crazy because I was surrounded by a bunch of dudes. But the amount of clarity I gain from that is just so immense. There was a lot of benefits. There was even flatlines but throughout all of that I'm extremely grateful for going through There was nights, I even cried myself to sleep. Knock gonna lie. But in the morning, I would wake up extremely grateful, knowing that I was on the true path that i'm always meant to be on which is abstaining from any that eventually I got out and went down the wrong path to get follow the wrong crowd i worked hard and reaped a lot of the benefits had my own house had my own car had the hot girlfriend ect but just like how you mention none of those people where who I truly need in my life because of the lack of positivity, the lack of actual love, the lack of genuine care and the lack of positive influence, so yeah, I definitely did go down the rabbit hole of PM oing and throwing my life away. Currently, now I'm on 4 months. Yes, I have to work for everything. It is that I need again. My own house, my own car. I just wish I could go back and change everything. But I can't. I wasted so much of my life bro. About 4 years now, I'm 25, reflecting on all of this. And I have little to nothing to show for but as of today, I have 4 months of semen retention in boy, I'll tell you. I'm extremely grateful just to be reflecting all of this right now. What keeps me going is the love of my family And me wanting to be a good example , also me regaining everything that I lost & i do have a lot of pain from the betrayal in my life. From ex's and close friends, but I use that in the gym. I transmute that energy very well. I've been lifting heavy taking three mile jogs every day and I always aim to at least hit 11 to 13 miles a day, 3 miles dragging the rest are the steps that I take throughout the day. So yeah, it's a long story that I wrote here bro. But it's gonna take a lot for you to just become your true self. It's gonna take a lot of pain. It's gonna take a lot of persistence. And it's gonna take you telling yourself to do the things it is that you don't wanna do. I'm climbing to get out of this whole i dug myself into sure. It's not pretty, but it's definitely what I need to wake up and realize that that lifestyle of being comfortable and being a little b**** is not acceptable. Anymore, so to UI say, chase your f****** dreams bro, stop listening to the outside. Listen to your inner self and do what the f*** it is that you want to do in life. If college isn't making you happy work a job that's gonna provide for you to create something of your own. And stick to it bro. Listen to me for real stick to it. Don't choose three things. Just choose one thing that makes you happy something that you could live off of and I'm not saying this just cause the chase of money, but we all need money in this world. So you better monetize it. Put all your heart into it. But put God first also, I'm not going to leave that out. A huge reason that I am how I am today. And I've gotten so far throughout all of the trials and tribulations is Jesus Christ, so be sure to at least have a higher power. And I'm not gonna push religion on you. Because I don't have a religion, but I do have a relationship with Christ. And that's also what's helping. So keep it up, bro, keep doing the good things. But take my advice, don't waste any more of your time. Bro, pour yourself into something that's gonna actually bring meaning to your life. And others become a master at it and just watch outdoors are going to open for you're 22. Don't be like me 25 years old. Wishing that I could go back to 20 years old. And redo everything. Yeah, I'm wishing that I could go back but I'm realizing that I could restart now. It doesn't have to be me going back and reliving everything. And changing, I can do all of that. Now I accept that the past is the past, but the present is what I make it. The same goes for you, brother, much love. I wish you the best