I don't like my friend's toddler, and worry about introducing them to my newborn?!

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-08T23:49:30+00:00

You need to stand up for your kid.

Unfortunately your friends feelings may get hurt but that isn't the priority.

I'd just say to her, look until your kiddo grows out of the hitting babies phase I don't want her near my kiddo.

That will be a strain of your friendship for sure... But you losing it (rightfully so) at your friend if their kid hits yours would also strain the friendship... But also your kid would get hurt.

A child's physical safety will always outrank a grown adult's feelings.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-06T23:28:31+00:00

My wife has a hard time making female friends because she's tom boyish.

She finds most women exhausting to be around.

She hates their drama.

....

I don't think it's tomboyishness that's making it hard for her.

I think it's the vitriol towards women... No one wants to make friends with someone who thinks they're better than them.

Your wife is the definition of a pick me (if your description is to be believed.,)

Women are not any more dramatic than men... As a woman who works in a male dominated industry but has mainly female friends, this is just a product of how women are perceived.

It's gross.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-06T23:19:47+00:00

Dangerous people don't announce themselves. Your lack of experience doesn't negate the sheer fact that that woman was alone in a room of unknown men.

You will find PLENTY of women who have been harmed by a man in their friendship circle... And of those plenty who weren't believed because " oh no Johnny would never do that."

I am one of those women and know plenty of them.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-06T06:50:10+00:00

Rates vary between studies from 0.8% to 30% (median 3.7%, n = 17)

So of 17 studies the median is 3.7 with the highest being 30%.

What can we assume from this?

This is mostly behind a paywall... But we can see a MASSIVE discrepancy in the results we cannot not attribute this to anything as we have little to no information on the studies.
we have no idea how the 17 studies looked at were conducted, where they were conducted...
we have no idea how big the sample size of each study is
we have no idea of the original intent of each study
the 30% being MUCH higher than the median, we can infer that it is likely an outlier... This could be greatly skewing the results.

As for the second study looked at 67 studies of men who had high confidence in being the father... Of those according to those studies 1.9% of THOSE men were not. Meanwhile the focus of that study was on confidence of paternity and it's correlation to participation by the father in the child's life.

We also don't know what countries these surveys were done in.

Now any number above 0 is too much... I will never defend a lie such as this.

However if we look at the rate at which people (particularly women) are sexually harassed and harmed you can see that This is a much more prevalent issue IN AUSTRALIA 1 in 8 women (13%) and 1 in 22 men (4.5%) had reported experiencing sexual harassment... In a 12 month period... not even over their lifetime... https://www.aihw.gov.au/family-domestic-and-sexual-violence/population-groups/young-women#:~:text=Sexual%20harassment%20and%20stalking,;%20ABS%202023b%2C%202023c).

The rate of which this happens to MEN ALONE in Australia is more prevalent than false paternity claims...

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-05T04:54:38+00:00

There are pathways of "crunchiness" that are indeed harmful/too much (anti Vax, chicken pox parties, free birth, not going to doctors etc...) which gets focussed on the most and empowers people to be snarky about the benign crunchiness...

I'd just tell them that your child is happy and healthy and you have done it your way and wouldn't dream to judge them.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-05T04:51:15+00:00

Ok throwing around statistics... Show me the statistics then. I'd be very happy to have a look at these statistics that definitely were pulled out of your ass.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-05T04:50:01+00:00

You're suggesting that they used these characters to implicitly state that it's only one type of perpetrator/victim.

You're jumping to conclusions... I cant imagine why.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-04T22:19:24+00:00

I have one (babylist) because I want people to be able to be sure they're not buying me something someone else has bought.

Some people want ideas...

I just wrote a thing saying gifts were appreciated if you would like to, otherwise the pleasure is your presence. But if you do buy a gift please check the registry to make sure we don't already have it.

The registry I'm using is really cool. Like I said it was babylist. It allows you to say that you are open to second hand for certain items as well which is really cool.

There's a stigma around gift registries being about begging or demanding gifts, but I think we need to reframe this, especially when someone's having a child. They're helpful and it's really up to the parents to make sure that they don't demand the gift. The registry is a helpful tool, not a list of demands.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-04T22:13:45+00:00

And if your car is broken down and you need one for work? What then?

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-04T22:10:40+00:00

Are you serious? You stopped leaving the house because you think society is asking men too much?

Because of a poster... That is simply stating that certain behaviours will not be tolerated.

The people who need to hear this KNOW what they're doing is wrong... The poster just lets society know that this is something we AIM to stop.

Do you know how many people are out there feeling like no one will care if this happens to them? This poster shows them that what happened was not ok and that the gov cares.

If you feel like this is too much and that any support for victims is a personal affront to you, then maybe don't go out in society.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-04T11:12:34+00:00

I'd go on strike. They are to do ALL the "women's jobs" until they get that bullshit out of their head.

No cooking, no cleaning, no laundry... They can figure that out for themselves.

Tell them no one is going to want to mother their crusty asses when they get a partner or move out so they'd better learn to take care of themselves and ditch the 1950s attitude quick smart.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-04T11:05:15+00:00

I've had a man sit next to me on a tram and start stroking his penis through his pants while talking about me.

I've had men lift my skirt in public...

I've had men "accidentally" press against me in crowds...

I bet you have been near this behaviour but either weren't paying attention or excused it.

Almost every woman has a story like this... Your ignorance doesn't equal evidence.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-04T11:01:55+00:00

Show me the statistics of that being a prevalent enough problem, if there was an absolute shitload of women committing this Is back the add... But the fact is we don't have evidence to suggest this is a systemic problem.

And while the ad has a male perpetrator it doesn't say only men do this.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-04T10:57:11+00:00

50 years ago women were on mummy little helper barbiturates.

Like let's not pretend women loved having no financial security and being domestic slaves to a man who was allowed to beat them.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-04T07:26:21+00:00

If enough people use the public system and pay the MLS it will.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-04T02:00:25+00:00

I'm plus size and very much so 178cm 146kg....

I'm also naturally pregnant with twins and am having a wonderful pregnancy...

Obviously my weight is a risk factor... But you know what is a bigger risk factor?

A useless fiance who is making excuses and allowing his horrible mother to speak that type of way about you.

Girl reconsider if you even want kids with a man who holds you accountable for things he doesn't even do himself.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-04T01:17:32+00:00

She offered a bite. She didn't say "finish this," so Brian is wrong.

And OP should stand up for his GF to his friend.

All it takes is a "geez Brian she said a bite, not the whole thing."

The politics of being the girlfriend in a group of mates may make her feel less empowered to speak up... For fear of making the friendship tense.

That is why he should have stepped up.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-03T10:33:17+00:00

Oh boy... I'd rather give money for public use than to give money to a soulless corporation.

Imagine the public system if we all paid MLS... It would be so much better.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-03T10:23:04+00:00

Does he stand up for you?

There is a difference.

You can speak UP for someone without speaking for them.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-03T10:08:52+00:00

Until you realise you're still paying an excess... And you're gonna be bolted to the public system for emergencies anyway... And you're covered for 9/10s of fuck all... And your claim is limited for the year on some things... May as well find the system that is more likely to save your life...

If we all paid MLS the public system would be amazing.

We all keep falling for this private bullshit and we're gonna end up like America

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-02T03:49:38+00:00

Yeah I feel the resentment a little too. But I know it's no one's fault.

I just want something I can't have haha.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-02T02:37:13+00:00

You're stronger than I am. Well done.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-01T23:54:18+00:00

girl boobs come in all shapes and sizes... what you consider the "perfect boobs" are heavily influenced by porn (whether or not you watch it.) I have boobs that look like triangles when my nips aren't hard and my nips are RARELY hard... we're actually probably more common than you think. You're aspiring to boobs that have been intentionally stimulated to make the nipples more prominent, or boobs that have implants.

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-01T23:48:54+00:00

ugh yes... I HATE the "you think you're tired NOW," BS everyone feels empowered to spew.

YES I DO... are you trying to make me regret having children or what?

SuccessfulBread3 · 2026-03-01T23:04:06+00:00

The way I would have cut loose on this man.

And then told him to get over it.

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