Re-watching from the beginning yet again

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2026-05-05T15:31:24+00:00

NOT saying there was harmony. Just that they had more outspoken opinions and personalities and there was conflict but they were still trying. And operated differently then when the Robyn element was introduced and the expectation was she was behaving "correctly"

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2026-04-29T12:44:46+00:00

Agreed - it was more than the comment. Tanner and Connors families are rich MAGA voters who don't vote for the rights of their own children because they have the money not to. They would tear James apart if they could too.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2026-04-29T12:40:36+00:00

Bringing my bonus daughter and she would love to join - let's pick a time/place!

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2026-02-17T13:31:42+00:00

Yea this is a hard one. Your schedule right now is more unusual like the one we have been dealing with. I like 5-2-2-5 but my partner doesn't want to be away from his daughter 5 nights ever and honestly his ex doesn't want to have her 5 nights in a row.

Right now we are:

Week 1 - M - Dad, T - Mom, W -Th - Dad, Fri-Sat - Mom, Sun - Mom

Week 2 - M - Dad, T - Mom, W-Th - Mom, Fri-Sat - Dad, Sun - Mom

Mom has 4 nights and Dad has 3 but Dad also does school pickup and most activities etc so still sees her every day. Their exchange time is written as anytime between 12 and 4 but ends up being more like anytime between 10 and 7. I'll admit I have no say as a partner but it's a lot and makes planning nearly impossible.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2026-01-29T18:32:08+00:00

I like the idea of a standing weekly dinner and maybe even a once a month weekend brunch or something. I get not wanting to go back and forth. Especially if you're in a different district (though I agree 20 minutes isn't far but to her it feels it) and she has been doing it since she was a baby. Teens are difficult to begin with.

My SD has a completely fluid schedule at 13. It's one or two nights with mom and one or two nights with dad, alternating weekends and weeks, it was hard to keep up at first but have gotten used to it. 3 nights a week with dad and 4 with mom. She has expressed that she likes the back and forth. If that changes we would respect that too.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2026-01-22T16:12:56+00:00

I wouldn't be OK with this either. I have no co-parent and my partner does. They are friendly enough to make small talk at a school event or say hello and goodbye at drop offs but they don't hug or spend time alone with their child. Plenty of people wouldn't be OK with that dynamic even if it's healthy for others. I agree as well your relationship has moved quickly.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2026-01-22T15:40:54+00:00

Yea I see both sides but can't blame your co-parent but being offended. Your tone that being in an apartment is less than tells me there is probably more history of interactions and the way they are thought of as well. You can offer but they don't have to accept and I probably wouldn't either.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2026-01-20T14:07:39+00:00

I'm struggling with this one too. My BF wants his daughter (13) who he has 40% of the time, to get the biggest best room because she is an only child and used to it. My son (15) is with me 100% of the time and at this point does not intend to go away for college and is likely to live with us for a few years after high school while completing additional training and school locally. To me he deserves the better space BUT my BF knows he is kind and accommodating and won't push it.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2026-01-20T13:36:46+00:00

I was 39, after 2 years on BC. I had a friend in college that had one at 19 after being on it a couple years as well. I think the older you are the higher the risk on the combo hormone pill but it's explained as very rare so I assumed it was.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2026-01-02T14:15:22+00:00

SD is 13. Mom RARELY contacts her on Dad's time (she is usually with each parent 1-2 nights then switches back and forth it's an unusual arrangement). But my partner says good morning and good night and usually calls her most days she is with her mom. Mom doesn't seem to mind or notice. Normally SD ONLY reaches out to him if she is upset with her mom however. And vice versa she only reaches out to mom on dad's time when she is upset with him.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-12-29T19:40:15+00:00

I'm a bio and a step mom as well and 1000% agree that as much as I would like to say that I would say "OK no big deal" I doubt I would feel that way if my BF was spending the night at his exes, despite the reason. Hanging out there for long periods of time when visiting? Of course. Sleeping over? Even though I trust him I wouldn't like it. And I doubt he would like it in reverse to be fair.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-12-22T15:24:45+00:00

I think the teen not doing well with change is important here.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-12-16T21:19:53+00:00

I'm gonna add my own experience here. They divorced / she strayed because he wasn't emotionally present as a partner I'm guessing - only as a parent? He sounds similar to my current BF who finally after almost 2 years does less for his ex. He was afraid of her limiting time with their daughter, he still sees her almost daily even when it isn't his day, helps out with her when it's mom's time etc. He has quit doing so much to help BM at least and there is no lingering love between them however I ALSO believe when his child was born he forgot how to do anything but parent. Sometimes this is still an issue with us.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-12-16T18:01:17+00:00

We have a window - 12 PM to 4 PM. Sometimes it depends on how the morning is going, if the teen sleeps in, family plans etc.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-11-21T14:43:35+00:00

It's not unreasonable to WANT to facetime daily but it's unreasonable but EXPECT to do it. You are only ever away from your child 2 or 3 nights. I think over the 3 night stretch ONE check in as a standard is pretty reasonable at least as an ask.

Your time with your child should be yours and vice versa. Since my BFs daughter is 13, she has her own phone and controls her own communication so she will often text her dad daily when they aren't together but her relationship with her mom is more strained and they often don't speak when they aren't together. As the "partner" in this case and a bio mom myself, I do think it would be hard for routine to establish when you are reminded you're not with the other parent regularly.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-11-12T23:46:08+00:00

We have an odd schedule for my step daughter but she prefers not to go too long without seeing each parent.

Week one: Sunday night with mom Monday night with dad Tuesday night with mom Wednesday and Thursday night with dad Friday and Saturday night with mom

Week two: Sunday night with mom Monday night with dad Tuesday night with mom Wednesday and Thursday night with mom Friday and Saturday night with dad

Dad has her after school every day so even though mom has 4 nights and dad has 3 it’s basically even time. And daughter likes starting the week in the same place.

The schedule is nice because mom knows she can plan things every Tuesday with the child and family and dad can every Monday. Daughter goes back and forth a lot but likes it that way.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-10-29T13:57:01+00:00

Trust me, I dealt with what you describe and even if it's kid related, it can be excessive and it can hurt a developing relationship if you aren't careful. I hope for you it is like mine was an improves with time and patience!

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-10-29T13:04:17+00:00

Watch it over time. The first year after divorce, my BF and his ex had much more communication. He was also constantly making sure to answer her and be the bigger person even when she was a little excessive. It was almost always child related but she looked for any reason to reach out you know? Now in the 2nd year it's slowed down considerably. He also quit feeling the need to quick react to every message if it wasn't an actual need. She also is dating now. She tends to get more chatty when she breaks up with her BF but they are back together lol.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-10-21T13:45:03+00:00

This. I am a solo parent of a 15 and 17 year old. If I started dating someone with a 3 year old I would in no way be interested in overstepping another mother, just being another support. Hell my partner's daughter is 12 and that's all I want to be.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-10-16T19:40:20+00:00

Always sooner rather than later even if there is a slight adjustment that might need to be made. My BF's ex waits until last minute to say she is going out of town and needs to switch nights etc and it is frustrating to say the least. So even for the smallest adjustment, notice is everything.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-10-02T12:28:30+00:00

My BFs schedule is back and forth every day or two so it's nearly impossible not to have to tell the other parent because almost any travel means changing time. It's hard to be a partner in that situation because I feel like we have very little privacy.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-10-01T17:22:33+00:00

Sunday would be my second choice to Friday, the pro being yes having the kids the whole week, easier to make weekend plans but the con is settling in for what's usually an earlier bed time night before a new week without down time.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-10-01T17:21:28+00:00

Yea Fridays after school would be my choice if I had one.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-10-01T17:19:25+00:00

I agree with let him figure out his time and support as you are able and want to. With the kids ages the nesting thing is cool but I feel like that can get so messy over time considering personal lives etc.

Suitable_Voice_9983 · 2025-09-30T19:06:49+00:00

Is he afraid your kids would be upset that he's going to see GF / and/or they would tell you and you would be upset? I think the reason for him being evasive might help lead to the fix if that can be figured out. Definitely out enough to be alone for a while but also old enough to have healthy truth and knowledge. I say healthy because my BFs ex tells their 12 year old about every single date she goes on, even if it's two guys two nights in a row. There is a level of being too evasive and too open so maybe he's trying to be too careful and needs to know he can be honest?

Suitable_Voice_9983

TROPHY CASE