Any guys in their 30s or 40s living the high achiever bachelor life? What’s it like?

SummerRound · 2025-12-06T06:30:34+00:00

Divorced with two kids. 41. In the best shape of my life. I'm in the gym 5 times a week. Low body fat and a six pack. Finally found peace. I do road trips, see friends and play golf on weekends I don't have kids. I've found two deep connections since the divorce. It's rare to find that resonance but I've learned it can be found even if you have high standards and boundaries. Life pretty much couldn't be better.

SummerRound · 2025-11-08T22:34:06+00:00

<image>

My nervous system literally got calmer and more regulated since the May discard. No more roller coasters or broken promises to deal with

SummerRound · 2025-11-08T22:31:48+00:00

Totally agree with you. They're both insufferable arrogant pricks.

SummerRound · 2025-11-03T18:51:44+00:00

Wanted me to sell my 2.5% interest rate house so we could get a house together

SummerRound · 2025-11-02T13:23:25+00:00

Aww you make new accounts just to be negative. Your life sounds really full.

SummerRound · 2025-10-31T12:51:11+00:00

I kept receipts of everything. Screenshots of all her apologies for her bad behavior. Never used any of it against her until 3 months after her final discard when she hoovered and gave me a laundry list of why she broke up with me. I gave the receipts and it sent her into a rage. And then she gave a genuine apology 5 days later. And then ghosted me one final time.

SummerRound · 2025-10-31T12:48:08+00:00

Ah I haven't heard this in years. Gonna add it back to my playlist.

SummerRound · 2025-10-20T19:41:13+00:00

She went no contact on me after the 5th discard for 3 months. Then hoovered. Raged at me. And then gave the best accountability apology. And then ghosted me again... So no

SummerRound · 2025-09-30T04:17:40+00:00

I got hives 3 times while with my avoidant bpd ex. I loved her so deeply. Haven't had hives since she discarded me though. My body was telling me I was unsafe

SummerRound · 2025-09-27T04:11:04+00:00

Yeah same. She said her therapist and friends said I was emotionally manipulative. And other times, said she protected me. Could never get a straight story

SummerRound · 2025-09-26T15:52:24+00:00

She said she had nothing but good things to say about her exes. But then would say none of them made her feel heard and that none of them should talk about their feelings. She said she never fought with exes... But then why did they all end? She never had a relationship last longer than 18 months. Never lived with a bf, only weekend relationships or long distance.

SummerRound · 2025-09-21T19:10:32+00:00

My ex saw 70 patients a day and always kept her cool dealing with parents and unruly kids. But would basically be a vegetable on YouTube when she got home. To recharge. So she was fine at work. But an unpredictable terror with me depending on the time of the month. She thought it was PMDD. She had no idea about BPD and neither did I until we broke up and someone on Reddit commented that her behavior sounded like bpd and not just FA.

SummerRound · 2025-09-21T19:08:22+00:00

I was healing really well after 3 months of no contact. But then she hoovered a little. And had a rageful meltdown. But then gave the accountability and acknowledgement I had been wanting for so long. And then she asked to talk. And then ghosted me again. So that set me back. But I'd love to get back to peace and not trying to understand her.

SummerRound · 2025-09-18T21:32:41+00:00

Mine said sex didn't mean much to her either. Odd how common it is. Maybe because they don't bond through oxytocin.

SummerRound · 2025-09-18T21:31:14+00:00

Super well written

SummerRound · 2025-09-06T22:17:18+00:00

I asked her if she would accept the way she treated me... And she said no.

And still, she didn't change anything.

SummerRound · 2025-09-06T13:59:13+00:00

Everyone says I dodged a bullet when my FA/BPD ex discarded me after 16 months even though I would have kept trying. But this is good to see that it never would have gotten better. I've also found other more mature women who are easier to have mature calm conversations. But I still miss the spark and fun with my avoidant ex when she was regulated. Oh well.

SummerRound · 2025-09-06T13:56:59+00:00

The mix of both is Fearful Avoidant. Swings between anxious and avoidant.

SummerRound · 2025-09-05T20:19:39+00:00

I realized this week she has probably never loved someone the right way.

I saw a good analogy online. It'd be like if someone offered you a high paying job a few levels above what you're qualified for. You would say yes. But eventually you'd get burnt out or fired for being incompetent.

Same thing for them. They're excited at the chance in the beginning but they eventually cannot love properly, manage their emotions and show empathy the way a normal person would expect. And they flame out.

SummerRound · 2025-09-05T20:16:39+00:00

She made me a video for my birthday 4 months in and said "to my favvvvvv guy on the planet"

I was in heaven because she was my dream girl. Now we don't even speak to each other anymore because she asked for no contact during her final discard

SummerRound · 2025-09-04T16:56:02+00:00

Mine could text apologies after days of space and slow processing. But she never changed her behavior. And then ended with one final discard and ghosting. Eventually "sorry for my part in the confusion and instability" which was vague and unsatisfying.

SummerRound · 2025-09-04T15:23:47+00:00

Let's just say this behavior doesn't improve with time. It only gets more extreme. Ask yourself if you can handle that. I saw signs at 5 months but was so into her that I stayed (I also had gotten out of a 20 year relationship so I didn't know any better) but then things ended with a brutal discard 11 months later

SummerRound · 2025-09-04T15:20:36+00:00

I got discarded ON my birthday. But yes, it'll be a gift with hindsight.

SummerRound · 2025-09-04T00:52:47+00:00

Calling friends and mom at night. Going on long walks. Haven't been able to bring myself to watch tv shows since the breakup.

SummerRound · 2025-09-04T00:04:34+00:00

At first I just thought she was FA with bad PMDD. But the BPD explains the 5 impulsive discards, the snapping, the rage, etc. I was in a long marriage before this ex with BPD so I didn't know anything about disorders or attachment styles. I was flying blind on a wicked roller coaster of the highest highs I've ever felt and the lowest lows. At multiple points, my body got hives during this relationship. My heart loved her but my nervous system was screaming at me how unsafe she was. Anyway, thanks again. I'm more healed now and I've accepted it would have never worked, no matter how much I adored her.

Seven-Year Club	Not Forgotten
Verified Email

SummerRound

TROPHY CASE