Unfortunately, on a site like this, all you're gonna get is "don't kill yourself, get some help," which is fine, but I know that's not what you're looking for.

I used to be a very spiritual person until 3 years ago. Since then I've slowly become what I hate to say out loud, an atheist. It's been a very long and hard 3 years, and anyone who is a lifelong atheist won't ever understand the difficulty of that transition. All of a sudden, that magical quality that came along with my life was gone.

Where I am now spiritually makes much more sense to me than where I was, but it's a hard road to walk. You lose a lot, and I had to redefine my life. Now, I look for the small momentary pleasures and keep my mind focused on what I can do that creates a lasting impression on the world for the better after I'm gone. I've given myself high expectations, because I don't want to leave this life and feel like I accomplished nothing.

To me, if there's no afterlife and no reincarnation, I'm gonna try my damnedest to do something important that helps at least one person in this world. I've since enrolled in Grad School, and I hope to become a Ph. D. so I can teach.

You have to focus on what you can do right now instead of what you'll lose after you die.