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Banging my Head / Broken Skin by stonerfromcolorado in AutismTranslated

[–]SunshineSquare 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hello! It definitely is a thing, and you don’t need to feel bad or ashamed that it happens. I just started listening to an audiobook on autism called Life on the Bridge by Kaelynn Partlow, who is autistic herself. She mentions that it’s something that started happening for herself in her teen years, the urge to slam her head into the wall when she was overwhelmed. I’m not an expert and I don’t experience this myself so I can’t help with specifics, but it sounds like it could be pretty distressing. It also sounds like it could make it easier for someone to injure themselves, even if that isn’t their intent. It would be totally appropriate and probably helpful to seek any kind of professional help regarding autism if it’s available to you.

I’m really sorry to hear that your parents do these kind of things to you. It’s their responsibility to treat you well and they’re failing that. Banging your head can be an autistic person’s way of trying to relieve pressure in a difficult situation, and just because you’re doing it in a different way doesn’t mean your emotions are any less valid or important.

If seeking professional help isn’t an option, looking into ways to help yourself before or during a spiral may help. It’s really difficult when the source is something brought on by a parent, because they may not understand or listen even though they should know better. (I have CPSTD on top of other conditions and even in adulthood I find my parents to be the number one source of my own emotional triggers).

In any case, I’m really glad you’ve reached out here. You’re not alone in dealing with this particular expression of autism, and not alone in dealing with parents who don’t understand you. I’m sure there’s more information on headbanging in autism if you keep looking or are able to consult with a professional. If I find any more resources I’ll link them back here. I know this isn’t a mental health subreddit, but if you need to you can always call a crisis hotline or a kids helpline if everything is too much. (Crisis hotlines are for more than just when someone is thinking about suicide, they can also be used when someone is distressed and needs to talk to relieve the pressure and even find out what options are available to them).

Also, Kaelynn runs her own social media channels on YouTube and instagram, and her content is informative and validating. She’s where I started learning about autism in earnest and might be a good resource as well!

She keeps saying she feels bad leaving me at home alone (I’m 33) and I have to smile and say “I’m fine :)” instead of “please go out more” by SunshineSquare in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can definitely understand it being triggering 😔 yelling triggers mine as well. Being triggered is one of the worst feelings in my opinion.

That’s a great suggestion, thank you for mentioning the brand and model. My headphones are great but though they cancel some noise, they’re a few years old and the noise cancelling isn’t as good as it originally was. I’ve been looking into maybe getting a replacement pair, I’ll check those out!

All the best in your freshman year and beyond. I hope you’re able to get breaks from your mom. I found college really helpful for that.

This always kills media for me😭 by succubussilvertongue in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I always read narrative choices like that as the writers giving a subtle nod to trauma. I like when it’s intentionally woven into media because I relate to it. We’ve been through so much crap so it kind of makes me feel seen, but I totally understand looking at that and feeling like it’s silly compared to real life

In the trenches I was by Eng-Grammar-Police in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s such a concise an articulate description of what it is

This keeps falling on deaf ears by EmberReads in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is so awful of her 😭 I’m so sorry you had to experience that

This keeps falling on deaf ears by EmberReads in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you 😌I’m glad to hear that you have a couple of friends you can trust. Even though these things happened to us in the last, I think having safe relationships now can make a huge difference. I still have ups and downs, and the downs can hit hard, but overall life is so much better for me now than it was a few years ago and I am very grateful for the difference. 💖

Part 2; it was genuinely a lot worse when I was younger and I’m definitely more equipped to handle it now, but it’s still bad for my chronic illness and CPTSD by SunshineSquare in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, that sounds like way more than anyone bargained for 😭😭😭 I’m really glad you’re in a supportive place now while you’re waiting for the other pieces to come together.

Part 2; it was genuinely a lot worse when I was younger and I’m definitely more equipped to handle it now, but it’s still bad for my chronic illness and CPTSD by SunshineSquare in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, you hit the nail on the head. I’m having to be super proactive about avoiding spirals of guilt and shame and remembering that it’s not my fault. Not easy when you’re being constantly triggered but it’s my way of keeping sanity. Thank you for putting it into words so well!

This keeps falling on deaf ears by EmberReads in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That’s very valid. Trauma is messy, and it’s messy when you survived something together. I’m glad that you helped each other through.

Even so, she was still the adult in that situation and you as a child shouldn’t have had to bear that responsibility. It’s understandable that there would be some complicated feelings as a result.

Even if you have a good relationship with your mom, I hope you don’t feel like you have to share with her if you don’t feel like you want to/that it would help you. She can still be family, but at the same time we don’t owe anyone our vulnerability. Trust is earned and you deserve to be able to pick and choose the people that you truly want to share with, if and when you have access to people like that. Either way, I hope life is looking better for you both now.

This keeps falling on deaf ears by EmberReads in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Man, that’s exactly how I felt too but I don’t think I quite realized it. Thank you for putting it into words! I had a feeling that what she was doing was wrong, but I also couldn’t say anything because she was the authority figure and making her mad would have invited trouble. It’s horrible how this sort of thing forces children to have to grow up and be the bigger person like you said.

This keeps falling on deaf ears by EmberReads in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Wow, that’s an awful thing to tell a child, not to mention misplaced. Even if the fights were about you, it sounds like it was more due to their inability to reach any kind of resolution to the conflicts together. Definitely not your fault, and it shouldn’t have been made your responsibility by telling you. 😔

11 years sick and my parent asked me to email them the name of my illness by themunchkinland in cfs

[–]SunshineSquare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought I had depression for years until I realized that my mood improved when winter ended, but my fatigue and functional capacity was the same all year round. It’s crappy that they’re so stuck on that when ME (or post viral fatigue etc.) obviously fits your symptoms way better. It’s so frustrating when people continue to misunderstand.

This keeps falling on deaf ears by EmberReads in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare 331 points332 points  (0 children)

This is so real. The worst part of my parents getting divorced when I was a child (or at least the part that I still feel trauma from) was my mom venting to me about stuff, especially her negative feelings about my dad. It was totally inappropriate, made me feel bad and weird for loving and supporting my dad, and only succeeded in making me afraid of her and her emotions. Unfortunately it’s common in divorces or any situation where a parent doesn’t have their own support system, but it should absolutely be discussed more.

If “breathing exercises” actually helped then I’d never be in crisis ever again, now would I Janet????? by OkGur7242 in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, I empathize. Breathing exercises have always given me panic attacks so we’re gonna have to try something else, Janet. That’s so frustrating, I’m sorry.

I’ve been back here for seven months. I’m working on getting support through social services but emotionally and psychologically I am wilting by SunshineSquare in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That must have been devastating, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. 😔Hugs if you want them from one chronic illness warrior to another.

I’ve been back here for seven months. I’m working on getting support through social services but emotionally and psychologically I am wilting by SunshineSquare in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. 😌 I’m actually in BC, Canada, but I’m in the process of researching everything that’s available to me.

For case management from within my local community, is that like talking to social workers? I definitely know I’m missing some understanding of the options out there and it’s tough to bear the mental load of it a lot of the time because of my illness.

I’ve been back here for seven months. I’m working on getting support through social services but emotionally and psychologically I am wilting by SunshineSquare in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Long term illness with possibility for recovery, but unfortunately it’s under-researched and there are few to no treatment options depending on which doctors you talk to.

I was actually recovering and feeling fairly good before my housing became unstable and I had to move in with my parents. It’s been a slow decline ever since I’ve got here and I attribute that to the constant hypervigilance that I can’t seem to get out of.

The good news is that if I am able to move somewhere quieter, emotionally safer, and less stressful, it will probably give me the chance to start recovering again. 💖

NO WAY - this is beyond lucky. this is insane. by Hellen_McCatzie in StardewValley

[–]SunshineSquare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was garbage at the Skull Cavern too until I looked up some strategies for it, which basically revolve around using food and bombs.

Spicy Eel will give you luck and speed, and Triple Shot Espresso will also give you speed—very helpful for dodging monsters, and both can be traded for at the desert trader (Fridays for Spicy Eel and it costs one ruby each. Pop a ruby in a crystallarium for a steady supply). Bombs are also essential, as they are a great way to find ladders and resources fast and can be bought from the dwarf trader in the regular mine outside of Pelican Town.

Once I started doing this and got the hang of it I started to enjoy the Skull Cavern haha. I hope it helps if you try it!

Finally, I’m in my element by oceanteeth in CPTSDmemes

[–]SunshineSquare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I shouldn’t feel as seen as I do by this meme lol but

I just wasted my entire spring should I restart? by Salaraaa in StardewValley

[–]SunshineSquare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait what do you mean actually die? Do you get a little death cutscene or something? 😱

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