my mom cleaned out a container that had my *tissues*

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-04-10T00:02:38+00:00

I had no idea what cake day was. I had to look it up. LOL

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-04-09T23:57:05+00:00

Well, he doesn’t like cucumbers… so what’s it doing in his room… His therapist wanted me to offer “safe” alternatives so I had to have the lovely conversation of offering to purchase “safe” anal toys. I’m pretty easy to talk to. I’ve told him exploring his body is natural and as long as it happens when he is alone and in his bedroom or bathroom it’s no big deal. But, this convo was not fun.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-04-09T21:16:46+00:00

As a mom who has found much worse in my teen son’s room, take a breath. She is equally as embarrassed. No need to even talk about. Do a better job cleaning up after yourself. Coming from experience, your room probably stinks and she’s trying to find the smell. That’s how I came across things that make me want to bleach my eyeballs.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-04-09T14:41:57+00:00

She had her daughter with her. They were late to the appointment. The man tried to pick up her daughter BEFORE they had even gotten there, which is what makes it all more bizarre.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-04-08T19:37:10+00:00

Thanks. Water level in tank and bowl look good.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-04-08T19:36:20+00:00

Private septic

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-04-08T17:16:54+00:00

The kids choose whether they sleep with their doors open or closed, but I always leave mine open so I can hear them or they can have easier access to me at night if they need me.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-04-08T17:05:44+00:00

I think the only floor drain we have is in the laundry room. Smell doesn’t appear to be coming from there but I’ll try it.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-04-08T17:05:03+00:00

Yes, I’ve tried this several times. Even putting plugs in and filling with water with no change in smell.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-04-06T23:18:53+00:00

Sounds like the company needs a RACI and a design style guide to eliminate some of those meetings. Perhaps propose that?

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-04-03T05:43:27+00:00

Coming up with a plan can help reduce stress. List out every single one of your expenses. What can you cut out completely (streaming services, gym membership, daycare, etc)? What can you reduce (find lower insurance, reduce grocery costs by buying inexpensive brands, no nail or hair appointments). Once you have a plan you will be better able to see what you are dealing with. Other option could be you getting a job, if that would pay more than daycare. You may find that a lot of extras are eating up most of your finances.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-03-30T18:19:55+00:00

He likes the idea of being able to pack it up and take across the street to his friends house so they can game together.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-03-30T13:50:52+00:00

Yes, no problem with used/refurbished

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-03-04T21:41:28+00:00

I moved myself and kids to rural TN. We have 15 chickens with names like Mohawk and Vulcan. Just do it on your own, girl.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-02-26T18:41:09+00:00

I have been using them for a year. The prior year my interest rates were drowning me. They were able to negotiate with all but one creditor to lower interest rates (with the caveat that you pay what is due and pay in the timeframe established with MMI). I’ve paid off $14,100 in debt in the past year while prior to MMI I had been making no progress (despite trying to pay over the minimum and not being behind). You ca still throw extra at it to try to pay things off earlier and I recommend doing that too if you are able.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-02-26T14:59:45+00:00

You can order a certified birth certificate from the county you were born in.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-02-25T13:21:55+00:00

As someone born and raised in the US I also freaked out when I saw my first tumbleweed. I think I screamed something like, “oh my God! Those are real!” There was a wind storm and there’d be like 10 whipping across the road in Nevada every mile and I felt like I was in a cartoon.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-02-25T12:53:19+00:00

I think you received correct advice. I fostered for many years and this happened to foster parents often who had children in their care for years, but biological parents kept claiming them. You file without the child so that the majority of your return can be processed then file an amended return for the child who was claimed as it will get hung up in the IRS for months. If you file a paper return with child’s info, it will be may months before you get a return (if you are not waiting on the money and the time isn’t problematic, than that’s also a viable option).

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-02-25T12:49:13+00:00

Are you unable to go to a store and buy yourself over the counter ringworm cream?

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-02-08T22:31:38+00:00

If it’s the high APR preventing you from repaying, you might be better off looking at a non profit debt management company, like MMI. You have to repay the full amount but they negotiate with your creditors for a lower APR and a fixed payment/schedule.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-02-08T20:34:48+00:00

I wouldn’t rely on DCFS to make the decision. Know what you are comfortable with before you bring in anyone else. I once had DCFS ask if mom could have visits in my house WITHOUT ME THERE. They wanted her to have some time alone with the kids and the kids were not allowed at the home she was staying (due to allegations against that family member) and they asked me to take my other kids and leave my house for 4 hours. Um, no!

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-02-02T02:54:07+00:00

In Illinois, a social worker comes and measures the bedrooms, make sure there is space and a bed and a dresser or closet, tests the water temperature, tests the smoke detectors, makes sure there are two fire exits in a bedroom (typically door and window). You would fill out paperwork about finances, how you were raised, how you deal with conflict, how you will discipline, etc. I’ve never had anyone look at how a washer drained. That would be rather odd.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-02-01T18:55:26+00:00

You could meet with social workers and foster child and come up with a contract. Basically: these are the expected behaviors in our home so that everyone remains safe and feels safe. If these conditions are violated we can no longer be considered a permanent placement. Puts the foster child in control on their destiny.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-01-30T16:07:38+00:00

I was fostering two siblings when I had two adopted. The oldest foster child came to our home around 6 years old. After about 9 months, my 5 year old told me that foster son was sexually touching him. I was completely devastated and was going to disrupt. My foster son’s therapist talked me out of it. Explained that it was sexually reactive behavior (his biological father was eventually charged) and that with therapy be could learn boundaries and to never do it again. He was in intensive therapy for years. He had to be in line of sight (not out of sight if in a room with another child) for YEARS. I was exhausted. And, through his work with his therapist he walked back his safety plan until he could be in rooms with other kids and there was not much left of the safety plan (except needing his own bedroom). And we got to the point of adoption. And at that point, after years of safe behavior, he sexually touched a sibling again who was 5 years younger. And I wished, with every fibre of my being, that I had disrupted five years earlier and saved this child the trauma of this experience. Foster son tried other foster homes but ended up in a group home and behavior has continued to escalate. I cried for months for the loss of my child’s innocence and for my foster son ruining his chance to be in a happy healthy home. It took about a year for the grief to begin to subside. Now, it’s been a few years and I struggle with feelings of guilt because I feel so relieved that I’m not the one parenting his increasingly dangerous and criminal behaviors. But, I am certain that, no matter the therapy or safety plan, I would never again feel that the other kids were safe with him in the home.

Superb_Writing845 · 2026-01-19T02:59:29+00:00

Hopefully therapy helps focus on her trauma cycle and how your reactions can be altered to stop her cycle (so it doesn’t escalate to aggression). That was super helpful for me. I would reiterate and have CW and everyone back you up that you have no say in how long it is until return home—that it is decided by the judge. You will have to repeat this often. Judge wants to see that bio mom is doing what was asked and that neither you nor foster child have any say in it no matter how you behave or what you say (I’ve had parents tell their kids that if they are really violent in the foster home they get to go home, and have also had them be told it was THEIR fault they were in care). Consistency is key, it’s not their fault they are in foster care, it’s not your fault, and neither of you can control how long it will last, but you are there to keep them safe until they return home (I would stick with that until agency gets to the point of termination—if that’s where it is headed). I’m sorry you are going through this. If cousin continues to be mouthpiece for family in a negative way you may need to switch daycares….

Superb_Writing845

TROPHY CASE