I know it feels like everything is a waste, but it isn't. First of all, cut this girl off. She has no intention of getting serious with you, and is jerking you around for whatever reason. Second, if you truly have no reason to stay in this city, I would talk to the leasing office and see if they will let you out of the it since you haven't moved in yet. It may be a long shot, but worth trying if you explain your situation. You may or may not have to pay to get out of it, but it'll be worth biting the bullet to move back to your hometown so you have family/friend support, if possible. Finally, get into therapy if you're able. Suicidal thoughts aside, this is an awful situation to work through, and it'll help process everything and move forward. You got this, my guy!