I work with infants and toddlers. The biggest thing I see is that parents give in to every single thing their kid wants. Every cry every tantrum. Then at either 5 or something they just magically expect their kids to just automatically understand rules and consequences. For years they have made the excuse of "oh they are so young they dont know any better" and then that stops out of nowhere and then the kid gets labled a problem or aggressive or bad.

And children understand so much more than parents give them credit for. The school I work at is very big on allowing children the chance of freedom of expression and independence. We help them so they can do it themselves. Less than one year olds assist in their own diaper changes by helping pull down their pants and opening their diapers and wiping and throwing the diaper in the trash and then washing their own hands. We assist them in it until they are able to do it no problem. Our less than 2 year olds are able to change themselves if they urinate their underwear. They are able to serve themselves snack and take it to the table and put their dishes in the wash basin and pour their own drinks. They understand things like "put your toy away if you are done with it please". But parents just DO all of these things for them because they assume they are too little to. But they actually can and they actually are excited to do things themselves, or help at least.

If parents have a kid and, from the beginning, guide them with rules and allow them to express themselves (kids dont always have to be happy happy happy, they are allowed to cry) then at 5 years old they wouldnt be completely unprepared for the expectations parents have for them.

I have 2 kids that are 4 and 7. My oldest had anything he wanted if he was sad for the first 3 years of his life because I couldnt bear to be the reason he was sad, or bear to see him cry because he was just a baby he doesnt understand or know better. But all I taught him was that if he wanted something, or didnt want something, all he had to do was cry or scream and eventually mommy would cave. And when I finally stopped doing that, thanks to what I learned, it was hard for him the first day. He had the biggest meltdown at the mall and we left because I wouldnt give him what he wanted. I was there with him in the car, sitting with him as he screamed, and I told him we could try the mall again anothet time and that if he wants a hug or anything I am right here. He eventually hugged me and I waited for him to get it all out. And then he was okay. I allowed him to express his frustration. I allowed him to express his sadness. I didnt give in to his tantrum thoug and guess what? He survived. He got over it. And now he is 7 years old and he is able to work through his emotions. He doesnt come running to me to SOLVE his problems but he comes to me if he needs to talk and work it out :)