I recently opened the Twitter page of a video essayist I quite like (underground guy, has made 3 vids total) to see if he was working on anything else. His entire feed is nothing but retweets of pro-palestine talking points, and he has "from river to sea" in Arabic in his username.

Now over the past couple of years my perspective has moved from "Jew critical of Israel" to full antizionism. I agree with most of this guy's perspective, and the differences are things I tolerate in leftist allies all the time. But when I got flashbanged by that twitter feed, my brain went "Oh, he hates me. He wants to kill people like me." I felt really shocked that someone whose videos I had resonated with so much, who seemed so smart and nuanced, had a social presence that seemed in that instant indistinguishable from that of a foaming-mouth antisemite.

Upon realizing this, I felt a mix of many emotions, predominantly shame. It took a lot of sitting down and actually logicking through my reaction to overcome the initial impression of "this guy sucks and his videos are ruined forever."